


The Accident

by Marvelous34



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Car Accident, Death, Drinking, F/M, Finding Love, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, Miscarriage, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Remembering Memories - Freeform, Romance, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Therapy, Trigger Warnings, Vaginal Fingering, intruder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-14 06:12:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 63,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14764145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvelous34/pseuds/Marvelous34
Summary: After yet another fight with your boyfriend Chris, you go for a drive and get into a terrible accident.  Upon waking up in the hospital, you find both Sebastian and Chris sitting there.  The only problem?  You have no recent memories and you think you are still dating Sebastian.





	1. Chapter 1

“For the hundredth time, I am NOT cheating on you Erica!” Chris roared, throwing his hands up in the air as his frustration and anger glowed on his face. 

This is the same fight the two of you have been having all month and it was starting to take its toll on you. Each day, he spent less and less time with you and instead headed out with friends; and you had no idea where he was half the time. He was being secretive it felt like, distant and it worried you to no end. 

There was a tightness in your chest as you looked at him. His teeth were clenched as it was apparent from the way his jaw bone jutted out. Not being able to face him anymore, you turned your back to face the kitchen. The stainless steel appliances gleamed in the sunlight from all the time you spent cleaning the damn place. It was a method you liked to do to help you relax, to calm yourself down when Chris went out with his friends. There was still a faint smell of the chocolate chip cookies you baked earlier, still untouched and in a container next to the stove. 

Spotting your black leather handbag on kitchen island, you snatched it up along with your phone and marched towards the front door. You slipped on your purple ballet flats, Chris’ voice making you pause as you touched the door handle. 

“Where are you going?” Chris stammered with worry. 

“Out,” you snapped back, not even bothering to glance in his direction. Slamming the door shut, you got into your black Range Rover, your own personal gift to yourself last year for your birthday, and pulled out of the garage and onto the neighborhood road. 

It was a rather normal day for springtime in Los Angeles and you rolled your window down. Your dark brunette hair whipped around your face as you drove down the street, not even knowing where you were headed to. You just needed to get out of the house, away from Chris and to collect your memories. 

Things had been going so good for you both. A little over two years of dating and your naïve self still thought you would be in your ‘honeymoon’ phase. But you were wrong, and it made you feel uneasy. Naturally your first choice of thought was to think he was cheating on you as he never really wanted to spend much time with you over the last month. He had just got done filming two Avengers movies back to back and you missed him terribly while he was gone. 

You pulled into the parking lot of a park, one that you had never been to before. Tears began to well in your eyes at the thought of possibly loosing Chris. Between him being  
distant from you and all the fighting, you couldn’t hold back anymore and began to weep. Your vision blurred and your throat felt scratchy 

Once your sobbing had finally ebbed, you used your light gray sweatshirt to wipe your face. Catching a glimpse of yourself in the rearview mirror, you groaned. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying and your mascara was splotched all over your cheeks. Pulling your phone from your purse that sat on the passenger seat, you knew just who to call.  
It was only two rings before the familiar voice broke through the speaker. “Hey Erica,” Sebastian spoke from the other end; an evident smile could be heard in his voice. 

You and Sebastian dated for a little over four years before breaking up. It was your decision, something you liked to not dwell on, but you two were not only amicable, you remained very close friends. Sebastian even helped you get to where you are today with your career. Knowing at a young age that you wanted to work on movie sets, your mom encouraged you to follow your dream. After working your ass off in college, you met Sebastian on a movie he was in while you were interning and from there, he helped you get in contact with Marvel as he just signed his own movie deal with them. 

From there, you had worked on the first and second Avengers movies as a set designer, along with Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Civil War. After working on Spiderman: Homecoming, you had decided to take a little break and forgo working on the set of Avengers 3 and 4. 

“H-hi Sebby,” you sniffled out, hoping to be strong but your voice was anything but. 

“Sweetheart what’s wrong?” Sebastian instantly felt on edge, never liking when you were distraught; especially when he couldn’t be there to comfort you. No matter how long the two of you had been broken up for, you knew Sebastian would always be there for you; always have your back. 

Your breathing was coming in short spurts as you tried to calm yourself enough to talk. “We-we had another fight. I ju-just don’t kno-know what to do anymore Sebby.” It was always a relief to talk to Sebastian because you knew you could trust him, and trust was something very difficult to come by nowadays. 

Sebastian sighed on the other end and you could just picture him with his brows crinkled; his hand on his forehead thinking of what to say to you. “Do you love him?”

“Of course I love him Sebby,” you accused rather harshly, wincing at yourself for sounding like a bitch. “I’m sorry Seb, I-I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’ve just been really stressed  
lately with all the fighting, and I’m just at my breaking point.”

His deep chuckle echoed throughout your ear, calming you quickly. There was a sudden emptiness of silence, but that was one great thing about Seb; it wasn’t awkward silence. 

As you sat in your car, Sebastian began to hum to one of your favorite songs, instantly making you smile; a soft chuckle escaping your hoarse throat. 

Instantly your mind began to drift to thoughts of Chris, and how you just might have overreacted by storming out of the house. With a sigh, you pinched the bridge of your nose, knowing that you should call him. 

“Better now?” Sebastian’s cool voice broke through your thoughts. 

“Much,” you chuckled, giving off a soft smile. “Thanks Sebby. I can always count on you to calm my nerves.” 

“I’m always happy to help you sweetie. I’ll talk to you later alright?”

“Okay Sebby. Bye.”

“Bye Erica.”

You sat in your car for another five minutes, trying to figure out what to say to Chris when you called him; eventually giving up. Finding his contact in your phone, you pressed the  
call button and waited on bated breath. 

“Hi,” was all Chris said when he answered the phone; your heart panging in your chest from the hurt tone of his voice. 

“Hey,” you responded, your voice brittle. Neither one of you continued with words; instead sitting there in silence. The once sunny day turned dour as dark rain clouds moved in, a strong gust of wind blowing your hair around. Rolling up the window, you finally broke the silence. “I’m sorry Chris…..for walking out. I was being a bitch and overreacting. We should have just sat down and talked and I shouldn’t have accused you of cheating.” 

You heard him let out a sigh on the other end, hoping it was a relieved sigh and not one in frustration. “No babe, I’m sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn’t have raised my voice like that. I’m just….stressed with everything going on.” Your heart felt at ease listening to him talk. “Come home baby. Please.”

You smiled as you put your car into gear, pulling out of your parked spot as you began to make your way back home. “I’m coming home right now Chris.” 

His smile was evident as you waited to take a left hand turn at a stoplight; neither one of you wanting to get off the phone. It seemed like it was ‘your thing’ you each did together; whenever the two of you fought, even if there were no words said, you each stayed on the phone until one of you made it home. Rain began to pelt on your window and you turned on the wipers. 

The green left hand arrow shown on the stoplight and you stepped on the gas, wanting to get home to the love of your life. “I love you Erica,” Chris said on the other end and you smiled. 

“I love….,” your words were cut off with a shriek as you watched in slow motion the car speeding straight for you, running a red light. 

“Erica!!! ERICA!!! Baby are you alright??” you faintly heard Chris’ frantic voice coming from your phone before everything faded to black. 

~~~

It was quiet, dark. Your head was pounding and there was a stabbing pain on your left side. You tried to open your eyes, but it was damn near impossible as they felt like pure concrete. Confusion began to sink into your body as you tried to lift your arm. What the hell your mind whispered out as your heart began to beat faster. Wait, what is that noise? you thought as you began to hear a steady beeping noise; the beeping becoming faster, almost as if it was matching your heart rate. 

Ever so slowly you began to feel a tingled sensation in your fingers. With what felt like the strength of the world, you began to move them around. Faint voices began to speak but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. Although your eyes felt glued shut you managed to gradually open them before slamming them closed from the bright light, sending more pain to your throbbing head. 

“Too bright,” you croaked out, your hand covering your sensitive eyes. You didn’t get a good glimpse of where you were, but you knew you weren’t at home. It smelt far too clean, like antiseptic and there was the floral scent of flowers everywhere. 

“The lights are turned down,” the voice said. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t pinpoint just who it was. 

Soon another voice spoke, this one more familiar. “Erica, open your eyes.”

Lowering your hand, you took a deep breath, wincing at the pain in your side; you opened your eyes. The room was much darker now as the beeping sound began calm. You were on a bed, and to be honest, it was nowhere near comfortable. Sure enough, you spotted a vast array of flowers lining the room. With your head pounding, as if someone was jackhammering right on your skull, you moved your head to see who the voices came from. 

Chris was sitting to your left, Sebastian to your right. You furrowed your brows at Chris, immediately regretting it as the pain in your head started to throb tenfold. Looking around, realization hit when you saw that you were in a hospital room; the beeping noise was coming from your heart monitor. 

The monitor began to beep quickly, matching your racing heart. You looked to Sebastian, holding out your hand to him as tears started to fall onto your face. Sebastian rose from his chair, taking in your tears and held you in his arms. “Oh Seb,” you cried into his shoulder as his arms wrapped around you delicately. 

With your back turned to Chris, you couldn’t see the heartbreak that flashed in his eyes, or the guilt he was feeling because you were here, stuck in a hospital bed from getting hit by the truck; all because you two had a fight, again. 

Your sobs did nothing but worsen the pain in your head and you pulled away from Sebastian. Wiping the tears from your face, you ponderously looked at Chris from the corner of your eye. “Seb, why is Chris here?”

In that moment, you could feel the tension throughout the room as Chris gasped from behind you.


	2. Chapter 2

The air felt thick with tension as the three of you sat there. No words were said, but you were no fool as to what everyone felt. Sebastian looked uncertain as to what was going on. His head was tilted to the right and his mouth was parted. Chris was slumped over in his chair. His elbows were on his knees as his hands held up his head. You were sure you heard him quietly sniffling. Chris was your friend and you didn’t want him to be hurt or upset. 

“Chris are you alright?” you asked, your voice breathy as you didn’t want to speak too loudly. You leaned back on the uncomfortable hospital bed, holding your hand to your head as you willed it to stop throbbing. 

Chris didn’t even answering your question with any words. Instead, he lifted his right hand from his head, waving you off as to say he was fine. But you knew better. You had met Chris through Sebastian, and for the last three years you two have been close friends. 

“Erica,” Sebastian stated, giving your hand a squeeze, “I’m going to go find a doctor now that you’re awake.” He gave you a weak smile as he left the room, leaving you and Chris there. 

The smell of the antiseptic was really beginning to bother you, making you feel nauseas. Closing your eyes, you took in a deep breath through your mouth instead of your nose, but immediately winced and let out a pained hiss. 

Chris was on his feet in a heartbeat, his hands hovering over body you not knowing what to do. “Are you in pain? What can I do to help?” his voice begging for answers. 

The pure panic laced in his voice and the desperation in his eyes caught you a bit off guard. “Umm, it-it’s just my side. When I took a deep breath it felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife.” Chris blew out the breathe he was holding and nodded, sitting back in his chair. You found yourself fidgeting with the starchy hospital blanket across your body, picking at the invisible lint so you wouldn’t have to make eye contact with Chris. There was something about the way he was acting, being overly protective of you that had you in a maze of curiosity. 

“Erica, good to see you are awake,” a man in a white coat and a deep voice walked into the room. He was tall with thinning blonde hair and kind green eyes. Sebastian came walking back into the room with a dour look on his face. “I’m Dr. Hughes. How are you feeling?” The doctor stood at the side of your bed, his square face and soft eyes making you feel just a bit more at ease about this whole ordeal. 

Shrugging gently, you looked between Chris and Sebastian. “In a bit of pain. My head is throbbing and my side is killing me. Hurts to take deep breaths,” you confessed as your eyes turned down towards the end of the bed. “And I’m confused as fuck.”

Dr. Hughes nodded his head, pausing to look at you from your cursing before going back to look at your chart. “The pain is expected after what you endured. Now, tell me, what exactly are you confused about? I want to see how your mind is function since you hit your head pretty hard.”

You turned to face Sebastian, internally scolding yourself for moving too fast as the pain in your head intensified. “For one, since when did your hair get so short Seb? I mean, just yesterday it was almost passed your shoulders. You never mentioned getting a hair cut to me. And two, why are there no car horns honking? I can hear birds chirping outside, but, there is no hustle and bustle of New York. That seems pretty confusing to me.”

Sebastian stared at you with wide eyes, his lips parting. Your eyes quickly darted around the room as you most certainly began to realize that something was amiss. Not only had Sebastian cut his hair, but even Chris looked different. You could have sworn that just last week when you saw him, he was twice the size as he was now, preparing to film Captain America: Civil War. Your eyes landed on Dr. Hughes; his own eyes searching yours as his mind debated on how to go about this situation. 

Dr. Hughes cleared his throat before pulling up the chair Seb was sitting in earlier. He placed his iPad down on the table before turning to face you fully. “Erica, what city are we in?” 

Your brows creased in confusion as you looked at the doctor in bewilderment. “New York City. Right?” Looking around the room, you saw the men glance at one another anxiously. The heart monitor began to beep faster as you became more frightened, more aware that you were right; something was definitely wrong. The beeping started to become erratic, along with your own heartbeat, your vision soon becoming blurry with tears. Sebastian rushed to your side, sitting on the bed and holding onto your hands to comfort you. 

“Erica, we are in Los Angeles,” Dr. Hughes stated in a gentle voice. Your head snapped towards him as pain shot through your left side and you yelped, cursing under your breath. Chris now got up from his chair and came to your side at the bed. His eyes looked tired as if he hadn’t slept in days. 

“Los Angeles? No, there…there has to be a mistake. I live in New York City…..with Sebastian. We live in an apartment on the 6th floor.” 

Dr. Hughes cocked his head to the side as he wrapped his mind around what was going on. “What month and year is it right now?”

You answered as calmly as you could, “June 2015.” A strangled sob came from your left and you saw Chris leave your side of the bed. His body was hunched as his hands rested on the window of the hospital room. His shoulders began to shake and your heart broke for the distress your friend was in. “It’s not 2015 is it?” you inquired, your voice brittle.   
Dr. Hughes gave you a sad smile before finally speaking. “I’m afraid not Erica. It’s March 2018. And I think it’s safe to say you have amnesia.” 

“Amnesia? From what? How did I even end up in the hospital? Why is everybody tiptoeing around the situation?!” You were starting to grow frustrated beyond belief and you were sick of it. 

“You were in a car accident Erica. Somebody ran a red light just as you were taking a left hand turn and the vehicle hit you on the passenger side door. Now, the airbag did deploy, but because of the angle of your vehicle at the time, the airbag didn’t do much good. From the impact of the hit, you hit your head pretty hard on the driver side window and the rest of your body flung into the door. You have a few cuts and bruises on the left side of your face and a couple of bruised ribs.” Your mind began to drift at the doctors words. You were in a car accident. Here in Los Angeles. “And I have to admit Erica, your injuries are very minor. It could have been a lot worse.”

Tears started to fall from your eyes as you glanced at Dr. Hughes. “Yeah well, I may not be physically injured that bad, but I can’t remember anything from the last three years!” Your chin began to quiver and you squeezed Sebastian’s hand. “Umm…has..has anyone contacted my mom yet? To let her know I was in an accident?”

Sebastian’s eyes glossed over as he turned his gaze down to look at your hand entwined with his. He squeezed your hand back as he took his own shaky breath. “Erica, sweetheart, your mom, she-she passed away.” 

There was a heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach as your mind processed Seb’s words. Your breathing grew shallow. “No. NO. No she’s not. I-I just saw her. She was happy and-and healthy and she was smiling.” Sebastian squeezed your hand again but you yanked it from his embrace. “NO. I don’t believe you! Why are you lying to me??”

Sebastian moved to place his arms around you carefully, holding you to him as you sobbed into his chest. This couldn’t be happening right now. Your life was perfect. You loved your life with Sebastian and your cozy apartment in New York City. You loved your job working on set designs for Marvel. And your mom, your mom was your best friend. The two of you talked every single day. She was your rock and now she was gone. 

“Chris, can I speak with you?” Dr. Hughes asked as you continued to cry in Seb’s arms. 

~~~

“I see that you are Erica’s emergency contact information on her medical sheet.” Chris nodded at his question, folding his arms across his chest. “Now, I don’t want specifics, as it will violate HIPAA law, but can you just give me a yes or no answer to this question I’m about to ask you?” Again, Chris nodded. “Did anything happen to Erica around the time of June 2015? Something traumatic perhaps?”

Chris tensed up at the doctor’s question; letting out a sigh. “Yeah, July 2015,” Chris responded with a frown. If you thought was June of 2015, then it meant you didn’t remember the incident with your mom and what transpired after that event. Chris was beside himself on how the two of you were going to get through the memories of that time again. 

~~~

Chris and Dr. Hughes had been out speaking in the hallway as Sebastian allowed you to cry on him, soaking his shirt. He held you close as your body shook; his hand gently rubbing your back in soothing circles. 

By the time Chris and the doctor arrived back in your room, your sobs were done and you were left with no energy to even think clearly. “Erica, I’d like to talk to you about a couple of things,” Dr. Hughes said. Sebastian took a Kleenex and wiped away your tears for you; Chris sat back down in the chair on your left. “First, I want to start with your amnesia. From the events that happened with the car accident, and for how far back your memories go, it seems you have Retrograde Amnesia.” Your brows furrowed as you listened to him speak. “Retrograde Amnesia is the loss of memories that formed before a traumatic head injury.”

You nodded at his words, not being able to look at any of the three men in the eyes. Instead, you concentrated on your nails and the fact that they were painted purple. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t ever remember painting your nails purple. Immediately your eyes closed as you willed your tears away as they only made your head hurt. “How long until I regain my memories?”

Dr. Hughes let out sigh before speaking. “I don’t know. It could be temporary, and it could be permanent. What I’ve seen that has helped those before, is that you try to live your life as normal, and go to places that you normally go to. Sometimes that will trigger you to gain memories back. You may also experience very vivid dreams, and some of those dreams may actually be memories. I would recommend getting a book and keeping it next to your bed. When you wake up and remember your dream, write it down. That too may help.”

You sat on the bed, shell shocked as you took in his information. You may never get your memories back. The last three years of memories. Closing your eyes, you spoke, “Can I have a few minutes to myself?” 

The three men in the room stood from there place and headed into the hallway. 

~~~

Dr. Hughes stopped Sebastian and Chris from going much farther. “Chris here told me that Erica experienced a traumatic even back in the summer of 2015. For the time being, I would suggest you don’t bring it up right away. Let’s see if she can regain some of her memories back first alright? I don’t want her to go through the traumatic car accident, and the other incident all at once.” 

Sebastian and Chris nodded as the doctor walked away, leaving them to themselves. “I don’t even know what to do Sebastian,” Chris exhaled as he leaned against the wall. “Fuck man she still thinks she’s dating you! And what about the shit that happened with her mom? We are going to have to go through that all over again. You know what happened the first time around. It-it fucking broke her dude.” 

Sebastian leaned against the wall next to Chris; the hallway to the hospital nearly vacant. He placed his hand on Chris’ shoulder, squeezing lightly. “It’s going to be difficult seeing her relive that time again. But you have to be strong for her Chris. You are the love of her life, even if she doesn’t remember it right now. You just have to be there for her. She’s going to need you now more than ever.”

Chris let out a defeated sigh, wiping the stray tear from his eye. “I’ll be strong for her. I promise. I just don’t want to see her go through it again.”

“I don’t either Chris. I would give anything for her to not have to relive that again. But that’s just not the case anymore. We will get through this, together, for Erica.”


	3. Chapter 3

Once the three men walked out of your hospital room and closed the door, you let the dam of tears break through the floodgate as everything from the last hour caught up to you. It was in fact, not 2015 like you thought. You were not currently, nor living in New York City with Sebastian. Which marks the question as to why you left Sebastian in New York to live in Los Angeles? And to top everything off, your mom passed away. So many questions swirled around your head that you felt dizzy. 

A nurse came in to check your vitals and showed you where the switch was for the pain medication if you needed any. She also set down a tray of food for you and a glass with water. Once she left, you hesitantly opened the lid to the food tray and were pleasantly surprised by how good it smelled. There was mashed potatoes, corn, a cup of jello, and a chicken breast. Your stomach began to grumble at the smell of the food and you eagerly dug in, feeling absolutely famished from the events of the day. 

Just as you were finishing your dinner, the door to the room opened and Chris and Sebastian walked inside. They occupied their same chairs as before. The room began to feel stuffy, and thick with tension so you spoke up. “Um, can someone open the window please?” Chris let a weak smile appear on his lips as he got up and opened the window. You were taken aback by how beautiful it looked outside. The sun was out, although it was growing close to dusk. But there was so much green! You weren’t used to that much greenery, unless you went to Central Park. 

You looked between the guys as that same feeling of dread washed through you. It was evident why Sebastian was here, seeing as the two of you had been dating for years. But it still confused you as to why Chris was here, and why you were living in Los Angeles. 

“So Dr. Hughes said you could leave the hospital tomorrow,” Sebastian spoke up, breaking through everyone’s thoughts and the thick tension radiating throughout the room.   
“Well that’s a relief. I’m ready to rip this thing out of my arm and leave right now,” you remarked. “So, do I get any answers now?” you added with a frown. 

“Yeah, sure Erica. Umm, what questions did you want answered?” Sebastian asked skeptically. 

“All of them. How did my mother die? Why am I living in Los Angeles and not New York? Are you still living in New York? Why is Chris here?”

“Your mom,” Seb began to say, “she uh, she was….”

“It was an accident Erica. Your mom was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Chris spoke up as he looked at Sebastian. Sebastian gave him a nod, silently thanking him for the help. 

“An accident? Like mine? Was it a car accident?”

“Yeah, it was a car accident. Hit and run. But they found the person responsible.” There was something about the way Chris and Seb were acting that seemed off. Like they were   
lying. But you were tired, and your injuries were flaring up with pain and you didn’t want to fight about it right now. You made a mental note to ask again about her later. 

“Alright then. Why am I here in Los Angeles and are you living here with me?” you asked while looking straight into Seb’s eyes. 

He let out a sigh, bowing his head and shaking it back and forth before answering you. “You live here because you moved here in February 2016. And I still live in New York.”

The heart monitor began to beep a little faster than normal as your heart rate kicked up a notch. “Ok, but why would I move here and be that far away from you?”

“Because of me,” Chris spoke, his eyes distant as he stared off into the empty part of the room. You turned to face him, scrunching up your brows. “Erica, you and I are dating.” 

Your eyes grew wide, not believing what you were hearing. “Seriously? But Seb. You and I. What happened between us?”

“We broke up October of 2015.”

You shook your head, not even caring about the pain rippling through you from the gesture. “But why? Why would we break up?? And who broke up with who??”

“You broke up with me Erica. There were some difficult things going on, and you decided to end it. I’m not mad about it alright? And I don’t want you to be mad about it either.   
You and Chris are truly meant for each other. And I’ve found someone too. It just so happens that you and her are really close. You treat each other like sisters.”

If you were confused earlier, you were truly misinformed because now, trying to process all of this information, you were floored. Everything felt jumbled in your head. “Are you sure?” you spoke up, asking for affirmation as you glanced between Seb and Chris. They both gave you sad smiles as they nodded their heads. “What’s your girlfriends name Seb?”

Sebastian smiled, thinking about his current girlfriend. “Her name is Margarita. I met her about six months after we broke up. She knew all about you, and even got your permission to date me,” he stated with a chuckle. That bit of information made you blush, knowing that another girl got your permission to date your ex-boyfriend. “Chris got my permission to date you as well.”

Your eyes perked up, cocking your head to the side. “Really?”

Sebastian nodded, his mind replaying back to the time when Chris asked if he would be alright if he asked you out. “He was nervous as hell. It was rather funny to watch him ask   
me if it was okay to ask you on a date.”

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth as Sebastian talked. You had loved Sebastian, and you knew deep down, you always would love him. He was the first person you ever fell in love with, and you thought you were going to marry him. Although, you couldn’t deny how attractive Chris was. Sebastian first introduced the two of you when they were filming Captain America: The Winter Soldier. 

“I’m scared,” you confessed, your voice weak. Chris and Sebastian both gripped one of your hands in theirs. 

“I know you are sweetheart. But we will get through this. All of us. Together,” Seb promised. 

~~~

“You are all set to be discharged Erica. I’ll see you back here next week for a checkup,” Dr. Hughes said, shaking your hand. 

“See you next week,” you replied. 

You got dressed in the clothes that Chris grabbed for you. You felt indifferent, putting on clothes that you didn’t remember buying, but you were going to put on a strong front, a brave face through this ordeal, no matter how hard it was. You were going to listen to what Dr. Hughes suggested; living your life as normal as possible and you were hoping for the best, to get your memories back soon. 

Taking a look in the mirror, you saw there was a large purple bruise across your left cheekbone and a few small cuts scattered your forehead and jaw. Your skin wasn’t as pale as it used to be, but that made more sense now that you were living in Los Angeles. It was probably from time spent outside or at the beach which gave you a little bit of a tan.   
Once you were fully changed, you headed out of the hospital bathroom. Laying the hospital gown on the bed, you turned to face Chris and Sebastian. “I’m ready,” you said with a grin, just happy to be leaving the hospital. 

~~~

It was quiet in the car as you sat in the front seat of Chris’ car, watching the view go by. You were used to New York City; cars honking and tall towers of buildings, but Los Angeles was way different. The beach was definitely something you were looking forward to going to. Instead of skyscraper buildings, there were palm trees and the ocean. Sandy beaches lined the ocean while cliffs scattered the background of the drive. 

“Here we are,” Chris stated as the gate to the driveway opened, allowing the two of you and Sebastian in the car behind to move forward. It was absolutely breathtaking; the views of the mountains and cliffs in the background took your breath away. “It’s beautiful,” you gasped out. 

“It sure is,” Chris responded, only he was staring at you as you took in the scenery. 

Chris gathered your bag from the trunk and you and Sebastian followed him inside. Sebastian agreed to stay for three days here in Los Angeles before he had to head back to   
New York; business of his own he had to attend to. 

As the three of you entered the house, you heard the clicking patter of paws on the hardwood floor. “Hey Dodger. How are you buddy? Yeah, you are a good boy,” Chris spoke in a high pitched voice; the dogs tail wagging as Chris was on his knees and giving him a belly rub. 

A giggle escaped your mouth as you watched the tender moment. “You helped me pick him out,” Chris stated as Dodger got up on all fours and came running to you.   
“I did?” you asked in wonder as Dodger began to sniff at your legs; his tail wagging quickly as he realized who you were. He began to bounce, standing on his back legs and you rapidly grabbed his front paws; his tongue coming out to give you kisses. 

“I saw him at the animal shelter while filming ‘Gifted’. I took you to the shelter and you agreed with me that he needed to come live with us.” Bending down on your knees you wrapped your arms around the dog, loving the way his fur felt on your hands. 

“He’s so soft,” you giggled as he continued to give you kisses. 

“You’re his favorite person. Even likes you better than me.” You looked at Chris, your eyes locking and you felt his truthfulness; the honesty evident in his eyes. “Come on. I’ll show you around,” he said, holding out his hand to help pull you up. As your hands touched, it felt like a small jolt of electricity sparked.


	4. Chapter 4

Sebastian stayed behind in the kitchen while Chris showed you around the house; he let you know he would be there if you needed his support. The house overall was absolutely charming. It was a rambler style house, just without the basement; one floor and it seemed to stretch on for forever. 

After walking through the front door, there was a proper sitting room with cream colored leather couches. The entire back house was covered in floor to ceiling windows or doors; the view miraculous as the house was high up in the cliffs. The kitchen had dark wood cabinets with off white and grey marble counter tops. Everything was modern, sleek, but felt comfortable. It seemed weird to feel this way, but you felt suddenly at home. 

There were a few guest rooms that Chris showed you to, before finally bringing you to his room, or, at least the room the two of you shared. On one wall sat a large king bed with a simple headboard, while the opposite wall was floor to ceiling windows, and one large glass door. It was breathtaking, your lips parting as you walked up to the windows, taking   
in the gorgeous views. 

“Wow,” you breathed out, not knowing you could see such beauty in nature before. Looking out the window, you noticed there was a long deck the reached nearly the entire length of the house; chairs and lounges spread out here and there. Your hand found the latch of the door as you gently pushed it open; a soft breeze hitting your face. 

Casually, you took a step onto the porch, breathing in the fresh air before finding a lounge chair to sit down on. It was really different here in Los Angeles; a complete 180 from New York City. Back in New York, there were people everywhere, tall buildings, cars honking, but not here. It was quiet up in the hills, even though you could see some of the neighboring houses. The landscape, trees and bushes, helped to mask some of the houses. It smelt clean and fresh as you continued taking deep breaths, enjoying this moment before you had to get back to reality. 

You were unsure of how long you were sitting there before someone cleared their throat. Opening your eyes, you saw Chris sit down on the chair across from you. “How are you doing?”

Your lip tugged at the side, your shoulder shrugging up. “I’m managing. I want my memories back Chris. I want my life back. I don’t want to have a three year gap in my memories. But accidents happen.”

“Hey,” Chris spoke peacefully, his hand placed on your knee, “we’ll get through this. I’ll help you in any wat that I can. Sebastian too.” One would think it weird for someone to place their hand on your knee, but not you, and not with Chris. He wasn’t some stranger. Sebastian introduced you to him while filming Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Chris was a great guy. While you thought he was always attractive, you had never pictured yourself actually dating him. That was Seb’s position in your life; to stand by your side, to be your rock, your protector. “Are you tired? Do you want to lie down?”

You looked at Chris. His eyes were so blue; you had never seen such blue eyes before. His face was sharp, his jaw hidden from his beard. You had never seen him with a beard before and you had to admit, it was really attractive on him. “No. I’m not ready to go to sleep. I am kinda hungry through,” you gave a light chuckle as you patted your stomach. It had been rumbling for quite some time; the hospital food was good, but wasn’t quite cutting your appetite. 

Chris smiled, a genuine heartfelt smile as he nodded his head. “Alright. Let’s go find something we can order in.”

~~~

After the three of you finished eating pizza, you all sat around in the living room, relaxing. Chris and Sebastian were talking, reminiscing on stories as you quietly sat back and   
listened. 

“Shit, Seb do you remember that one time you and Erica pranked me on set? I was coming around the corner and you both had a blow-horn. I swear, I nearly pissed my pants….,” Chris trailed off laughing, his face going red. 

“Oh I sure do remember that! That was one of the best pranks we played on you! Your face was priceless,” Sebastian continued, slapping his hand over his knee from laughter.   
You wanted to laugh, would have given anything to laugh, but all you could muster up was a smile. Chris and Sebastian were telling stories, many involving you, yet you couldn’t remember any of it; everything felt fuzzy when you tried to think back on many things. 

You were unaware of the tightness clenching at your chest, a soft sob escaping your mouth. As Chris and Sebastian heard that, they quieted down, frowns on their face. “Bab- Erica,” Chris said in a small voice, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think-,” he cut himself off, his head hanging low. 

With a shaky breath, you replied, “It’s fine-I’m fine. Really. I’m ahh, I’m going to go to bed.” You stood from the chair you were sitting in and left the guys in the living room, heading towards the bedroom. Finding your suitcase, the one Chris brought along to the hospital with a few of your belongings, along with Sebastian’s on the floor in the kitchen, you picked it up just as you heard shuffling behind you. 

Turning you saw Chris standing there, his face sullen as his hands were tucked deep in his front pockets. “Erica, are you alright?” he asked, his voice genuine and in that moment, you wanted to let everything out. You wanted to run straight into his arms, but you wanted to be strong; had to be strong. 

“I’m fine Chris. I’ll be fine,” you acknowledged as you wiped a fallen teardrop. Giving him a small tug of a smile, you turned around and headed towards one of the guestrooms.   
“Erica wait,” you heard Chris say from down the hall. You paused, turning to face him. “Please, take our-take the master bedroom.” 

His words took you by surprise. Your left hand gripped the handle of your suitcase as your right hand came up to cover your eyes, rubbing the tension out. “Chris, really. That’s sweet of you but you don’t have to give up your room. Honestly. The guest bedroom will be just fine.”

“Stop,” Chris moved towards you, taking your hand from your face. He placed his hands on your shoulder, keeping you grounded, steady. Craning your neck you looked up at him. His beard was beginning to grow unruly; undoubtedly from the many nights spent at the hospital with you. Chris truly was a great class act. He let out a sigh as he continued to stare in your eyes. “I want you to take the master bedroom. There are pictures in there, all your belongings are in there. I don’t know, maybe they could trigger a memory.”

Your shoulders relaxed under his hands, your eyes lowering from his gaze. He was really trying to help you regain your memories. His intentions were authentic; not trying to pull a fast move. There was also something in his eyes, a sort of truthfulness you had never seen before in anyone. With a quick nod of your head, you answered back, “alright   
Chris.”

Chris came into the master bedroom with you and quickly gathered some clothing of his, along with his bathroom necessities. “Chris are you sure? I don’t want to put you out or anything.”

You turned at the sound of Chris letting out a small chortle. “Erica, this is my house. Trust me, you aren’t putting me out. It’s just a bedroom. I’ll be in the next room over if you need anything. And Sebastian is two doors down.” You let your body relax, your lips curling up into a tight smile as you bowed your head. 

After Chris left, you shut the door to the bedroom and took a shower. The body wash and shampoo weren’t the normal smells you were used to, but you weren’t complaining. 

The body wash smelt of fresh lavender as you scrubbed your body, being mindful of your painful left side. Looking down, there was some slight bruising, but not as dark as the bruise on your face. Once you were done rinsing your long dark hair with conditioner, you turned off the water and wrapped your body in a large dark green towel. Swiping the warm mist from the mirror, you took another long look at yourself. Not only was there the bruise and cuts on your face, but there were deep dark circles under your eyes, ultimately from the stress and lack of sleep you had been getting. 

Opening the door from the master bathroom, you peaked into the bedroom to make sure nobody was there. Taking off your towel, you placed it on the hook behind the door before ruffling through the top drawer of the dresser. There, you found your underwear and chose to put on a pair of black boy shorts. You began to open each drawer until you found some pajamas. You chose to wear a pair of black yoga leggings and a loose fitted white t-shirt. Once dressed, you pulled the covers on the bed back and hopped in bed. 

It felt like hours as you lay there, wide awake, your mind never shutting off. You tried everything from counting sheep, deep breathing, and mild yoga stretches, but nothing   
seemed to work. After giving up, you let out a loud sigh as you stared at the ceiling. 

Shortly after that, there was a scraping at your door; a soft whimper coming from the other side. Getting out of bed, you shivered as your feet hit the cold wood floor. Tip-toing to the door, you opened it slowly to see Dodger standing there, tail wagging. “Come on boy,” you spoke softly as Dodger walked through the door. 

Shutting the door, you walked back to bed and got under the comfortable covers of the duvet blanket; Dodger’s head resting on the bed as he stayed standing on the floor. You couldn’t help but giggle at just how cute he looked. Patting the spot next to you, Dodger jumped onto the bed and curled himself right up next to you. 

Rolling over onto your side, you began to stroke his soft fur. “Yeah. You’re a good boy,” you whispered. As you began to pet his fur, you realized just how calming it felt to have him near. Your eyelids soon began to feel heavy and you closed them; soon drifting off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

You jolted awake, your body coated in sweat as you heaved for a breath. Whatever dream you were having wasn’t much of a dream, but more of a nightmare. Yet when you tried to focus on it, everything was a blur, the dream fuzzy. You sat in bed, taking deep breaths to calm your racing heart. The sun was shining through the drawn curtains and you looked to see that it was a little after 9 a.m. “Fuck,” you murmured as you tore the covers off your warm body. Sleeping in late was nothing something you liked to do. Whether you were working or not, you liked to get up early. It made sense not sleeping the day away. Getting up early, you had the whole day ahead of you and more than enough time to get what you needed done. 

Although you showered the night before, you were now sweaty from your dream, well, nightmare and took a quick shower; throwing your hair in a high top ponytail and just washing off your body. Drying off, you put on a fresh pair of underwear, leggings and a loose t-shirt. Before you went to open the door, you just now realized that Dodger wasn’t in the room with you anymore. Chris must have got Dodger at some point in the early morning to let him go potty and feed him breakfast. 

Opening the door, your nostrils were immediately assaulted with an amazing smell; breakfast. It smelt of bacon and pancakes, and your feet couldn’t walk you faster to the kitchen as your stomach grumbled in delight. 

As you neared the kitchen, you saw Chris standing at the stove while Sebastian was digging into a heaping plate of pancakes at the island table. The kitchen was truly beautiful with stainless steel appliances and a large kitchen island. There was also a double oven. It was a chef or bakers dream. A small smile broke across your face as you saw the two men. You leaned up on the wall, clearing your throat to let them know you were up. 

“You’re up late,” Chris spoke. 

“You’re up early,” Sebastian said at the exact same time as Chris. Your brows furrowed as you looked between the two men. 

“Wait,” you said holding your hand up. “Explain,” you said pointing to Chris. 

He flipped the pancakes in the pan before turning to face you. “You hate sleeping in,” he said with a shrug. “You like to be up early and get things going around the house or running errands.”

Your mind tried to scrambled and comprehend what he was saying. Turning to Sebastian, you asked the same thing, “explain please.”

A sly smile broke across his lips. “You hate to get up early. You’ve always been a late sleeper.”

It felt like a lightbulb went off in your head. “Aggh!!” you shrieked, startling everyone in the room, including Dodger. “I’m making progress!” Both Chris and Sebastian frowned at you, unclear of what you were talking about. “Ok, hear me out. When I woke up this morning, I saw that it was a little past 9 a.m., and I was mad because I thought I slept in too late!” They clearly weren’t understanding what you were getting at. “If I still think it’s June of 2015, wouldn’t I think that getting up at 9 a.m would be a bit too early?” you questioned. 

It seemed to finally click in the guys’ head as they turned to look at each other; smiles breaking out on their faces. Sure, it was a small detail of your present life, but you would take anything at this point. 

You sat down next to Sebastian as Chris placed a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of you. “Juice?” 

“Please,” you responded as you poured some syrup over the pancakes. The smell alone had you close to moaning, but you held back that bit. You began to cut into your pancakes as Chris put a glass of orange juice in front of you. 

“So, Dr. Hughes said to keep things as normal as possible for the first few days. What did you want to do today Erica?” Sebastian asked as you chewed on your food. You nearly missed his question as you savored the taste of the food. Damn Chris can cook you thought to yourself mindlessly. 

Once you were finished chewing your bite, you turned to Sebastian. “Well, since Dr. Hughes wants me to keep it ‘normal’ for a few days, what would be considered normal?” At that, you turned to Chris, eyebrows raised and waiting for him to respond. He was wearing a pair of light gray sleep shorts and you couldn’t help but notice his perky round butt. 

“Since I’m home and not filming and you don’t have any contracts with Marvel and set designs for a while, usually we would go and take Dodger for a walk after breakfast.”

The second Chris said ‘walk’ Dodger was up and on his feet, prancing around the kitchen with a wagging tail. The three of you laughed at the excited dog, and you had to admit, it felt good to really laugh; not one of those faked laughs. 

“Walking Dodger it is!” you exclaimed with a smile. 

It felt good to smile, after everything. Learning you were in a car accident, losing your memories, finding out you and Seb broke up, finding out you lost your mother; you thought you would never smile again. But you wanted to take Dr. Hughes words to heart. You knew it would take a few days before you should start talking about Sebastian and you breaking up, and losing your mother. On the inside, it tore you apart, wanting to know the truth, but it was all a healing process, and you had to take baby steps to further your progress. 

Once everyone was done with breakfast, you helped Chris clean up the kitchen and dishes before taking Dodger on a walk. 

“I have to make a few phone calls. Do you think you’ll be alright if I stay back at the house?” Sebastian asked as he pulled you aside. 

In all honesty, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference if Sebastian was there or not. You had known Chris for a few years, and even though you and him were ‘dating’ and it didn’t feel like it to you, it would give you a chance to talk to him a little more. 

“No Seb, I’ll be fine.”

~~~

Chris was holding onto Dodger’s leash as the two of you headed out of the house. 

“So, where are we going on this walk?”

“There is a dog park a few blocks away. We usually bring Dodger there. He has fun with the other dogs,” Chris spoke adamantly. His face always seemed to light up when he talked about Dodger and it always made you smile. 

You watched Dodger with a smile as his furry tail wagged happily back and forth. It was a beautiful day as the sun was high in the air. There was a slight breeze, causing your loose t-shirt to sway. Usually in New York, the air was hot with humidity, but not here. Because of the ocean, it didn’t feel stifling and you figured you would appreciate that more than the regular humidity. 

Reaching the dog park, Chris unleashed Dodger and you watched him rush off towards all the other dogs. The park was large and fully fenced in, with sprawling grass everywhere. There was a bench near the fence and the two of you sat down; watching Dodger and the other dogs play around a bit. 

It felt refreshing getting outside and soak up some vitamin d from the sun. You didn’t care to be outside long enough in New York. It was always humid, and there were far too many people. But you were there for Seb, and you thrived in the city. There was so much to do, and so many places to shop and eat at within just a block of your apartment. But you weren’t in New York anymore, you were in LA. And even though you supposedly had been living here for two years, it all felt new to you. 

It was as if a dark cloud was casted over you, a deep seed of depression filling your body. You hunched over, hoping it would go away, but Chris noticed much faster than you anticipated. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked as he splayed his hand on your back. You crossed your arms, head bowed down as you kicked the dirt around. “You can talk to me about anything Erica.”

The way he said your name; the way it fell from his lips in such an emotional way made you turn into yourself more. You wanted to know how your relationship was with him; every detail. But you weren’t sure if it would ruin the memories of before you began dating him. 

With a sigh, you spoke. “Tell me about us Chris. What is our life like here?”

“We share a beautiful life together Erica,” Chris began to speak. “It’s so simple and easy together. Our relationship flows so effortlessly. I’ve never experienced anything like it   
before.”

“Was Sebastian mad when we started dating?”

Chris chuckled at your question. “No. He wasn’t mad. In fact, he seemed kind of relieved. He said that he could picture the two of us dating, and that we could really make it work. He was actually kind of happy about it, especially when we officially started dating.”

“How about we head back home?” Chris asked, nudging you in the side.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” you answered as you stood up and called Dodger back to you. He came running up, mouth hung open and tongue hanging out. “Wanna head back home buddy?” Dodger jumped up, his front paws landing on your stomach as his tail wagged happily. 

Chris leashed him back up as the two of you made your way back home. He continued talking about what life was like between the two of you. It seemed like a fairy tale; easygoing and effortless and you were eager to regain your memories. Most relationships weren’t that way, but the way Chris described it sounded captivating. You couldn’t wait until your memories started coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you guys liking this story so far??? Leave me a comment and let me know! I love hearing any and all kinds of feedback


	6. Chapter 6

After getting back from taking Dodger to the dog park, the three of you decided to spend some time out in the pool and enjoy the sunshine. Chris showed you where you kept your swimsuits and you gave him a soft smile as he left you to it. 

You shuffled through the entire drawer of suits, a light blush creeping up onto your face as you saw how small some of the bikinis were. You were about ready to give up until you found a retro 1950’s styled one-piece. It wasn’t like you were self-conscious with your body, it was the fact that you would be around Chris and Sebastian. Sebastian who, even though you dated for years, you two were now broken up, and Chris, even though you two were friends for a couple of year, were now dating and you couldn’t remember any memory of it. 

Putting on a pair of flip-flops and some sunglasses you opened the glass door of the master bedroom and walked down the porch until you saw the guys hanging by the pool. It was really a beautiful day out; the sun high in the sky with a few white fluffy clouds. 

The guys turned to face you, both giving you a smile as you sat down next to the pool, letting your legs dangle in. “Mmmm, that feels nice,” you declared as you swirled your legs around. You splayed your arms behind you, lifting your face to meet the sun in a welcoming way. “I didn’t think I could ever leave New York.” The pool smelt of chlorine as you let your head hang back, soaking up the sun. 

Sebastian scoffed from the pool. “Me neither. When I found out you were moving out here to live with Chris, I was rather shocked.”

“You were?” Sebastian nodded, taking a sip from his water bottle. “Yeah, I never thought you would leave New York, seeing as you grew up in New Jersey. It baffled me that you were moving to the other side of the country. But once I realized how perfect you and Chris were, I thought it was a great idea. 

You blushed at his words, trying to hide the smile on your face. If Sebastian thought you and Chris were perfect for each other, then it must have been true. You dated Sebastian for over four years, and though you thought you would spend the rest of your life with him, things seemed to take a turn, and perhaps it was for the better. 

At that moment, Dodger came racing out the door and dove into the pool, causing the three of you to laugh at the wet dog swimming around. Noticing some sunscreen next to the towels, you quickly sprayed yourself down, not wanting to get burnt from the sun as you watched the guys playing with Dodger. 

Deciding to take the plunge, you dipped your entire body into the pool and began to swim around with Dodger. He seemed to love swimming and it brought a warm smile to your face. Just being around Dodger calmed your nerves; it was as if he was some sort of emotional comfort to you and you couldn’t be more grateful. 

~~~

The next two days followed similarly. The three of you ate breakfast before you and Chris went to take Dodger to the dog park. Once you returned, you all headed out for a swim in the pool which was followed by a light lunch. You watched television during the day while Chris and Sebastian either did workouts together, or were on the phone with their managers talking over some business. They both questioned if it was alright that they left you to yourself, but you told them it was fine. They had lives too, and rather big lives with their careers; you didn’t want them to put that on hold. As long as they were willing to answer your questions and help you out with anything, you didn’t mind one bit.

With Chris and Sebastian usually occupied after lunch, you spent your days with Dodger and you were alright with that. He usually hopped up on the couch next to you and kept you company while you watched television or movies. There was so much you missed!! Riverdale was television show you couldn’t stop watching, binge watching the entire first season in a day and a half. 

~~~~

Later that evening on the last night Sebastian was in town, the three of you found yourselves at a restaurant, Casa Vega; Sebastian having to leave and head back to NYC on a red eye flight. Walking into the Mexican restaurant, it reminded you of one that you and Seb frequented back in New York. You took in a breath, careful not to take too deep of one because of your bruises. The smell of spices invaded your nostrils and you smiled. 

You saw Sebastian peeking at you from the top of his menu, and you could tell by the crinkles near his eyes he was smirking; for what, you didn’t know quite sure.

“Welcome to Casa Vega, what can I get you three to eat today?” the waitress said as she glanced between the three of you. You had to admit, you admired the fact that she didn’t get star struck from the guys. 

Both you and Chris ordered your meals, waiting for Sebastian to take his turn. He took one look at you and smiled. “I’ll have the burrito empanada please.”

It was as if all the air was sucked out of you, hearing Sebastian speak those words. Your head began to throb as as a fuzzy memory soon began to focus more clearly.

Flashback

“Burrito empanada,” you spoke softly, barely above a whisper as your eyes glazed over, reliving the memory.

You were at a Mexican restaurant, one that you and Sebastian frequented in NYC. He ordered the burrito empanada, yet you were barely there in your mindset. Instead you were reeling from what he had said earlier to you. 

“What did you mean earlier?” you snapped after the waitress had left. Sebastian sighed, lowering his gaze from yours. “Don’t look away from me Seb!”

His eyes snapped up to meet yours, they were soft, sorrowful even. “You know what I meant Erica,” he admitted, giving you a pointed look. 

You rolled your eyes, chugging your drink, just wanting to forget this night. “What, you think I’m fucked up don’t you? Ever since that night you think I need to be locked up in an institution? Well guess what Seb, maybe your right! Maybe I do need to be locked away forever!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he growled angrily, his eyes narrowing. 

“Yeah, well it sure seemed like it.” 

End Flashback

“Erica,” you heard your name being called, your mind bustling back to reality only to see both Sebastian and Chris across from you, clearly worried. “Are you alright?”

You shook your head, trying to clear the image of you and Seb fighting. “The last time you ordered this….we fought.” Sebastian’s deep-set eyes blinked, his mind reeling as he realized what you were talking about. “What were we fighting about Seb?”

“Erica, now is not really a good time to talk about it,” Sebastian confessed. 

You shook your head, rolling your eyes as you were beginning to hate how everyone seemed to tip-toe around you for the past few days. “I think now is about a good enough time to talk about it. I’ll ask again. What were we fighting about?”

“I’m not going to talk about this right now alright? We can talk about this another time.”

“No! Sebastian I want to know what we were fighting about. Obviously I regained some part of a memory I didn’t know about, and now I’m asking for your help to fill in the blanks.”

“Erica drop it, please. This isn’t the time.”

You felt your face become flushed, your fists clenched under the table. All you wanted to know was why the two of you were fighting. It was a new memory, one you didn’t remember and you wanted to know the truth, but he was being rather secretive and it wasn’t helping you one bit. You didn’t even want to look at him. 

The rest of dinner went by with an uncomfortable air; the three of you not talking much. You didn’t even look at Sebastian the rest of the night, irked that he wouldn’t tell you about your fight. It could have easily given you some insight as to what had happened between the two of you, but he was being stubborn as usual. 

After dinner, the three of you piled back into Chris’ car; you in the back. You didn’t want to be near them right now because they weren’t giving you any details to your new memory. Sebastian brought his luggage with, as Chris drove off towards the airport. 

Once you arrived at the airport you didn’t even want to get out of the car, but you decided against that idea. Sebastian opened his arms for you and you gave him a soft hug, but didn’t say anything. 

“Come on sweetheart, don’t be like this. I don’t want us parting on bad terms.”

“Well maybe you should have thought of that before you decided not to fucking tell me anything about what happened.” You walked away and got back into the car. You knew you were being childish in a way, but why couldn’t he just tell you what had happened between the two of you? You had finally regained a memory, and he was being hush hush  
about it. It didn’t feel right; it made you rather uncomfortable. 

Chris got back in the car after Sebastian went into the airport. He started the car up and began to drive back towards the house. “Ready to get back home?” he asked, hoping to ease your tenseness. 

“Yeah,” was all you could muster up before turning to look out the window.


	7. Chapter 7

The car ride back to the house was eerily quiet; neither you nor Chris wanting to talk much. To be honest, it was actually kind of nice. It seemed as if Chris knew to give you some time to cool off and not badger you right away with questions. It was like he really knew you. Instantly you kicked yourself, of course he knew you; the two of you had been dating for a little over two years. 

Opening the door to the house all you wanted to do was see Dodger as he always seemed to calm your nerves. He came rushing up to you and Chris and you bent down immediately, letting him give you kisses as you scratched behind his ear. A smile grew wide on your face as you took in just how happy Dodger was. “Yes, you’re a good boy. Yes you are! Yes you are!” you spoke in a pitchy voice. 

Peering your eyes over Dodger’s head, you saw Chris open the fridge, his eyes scanning for something to eat or drink. He must have sensed a pair of eyes on him as he turned to face you, a half grin tugging at his lips. “Do you want anything to drink?” 

In the years you had known Chris while dating Sebastian, you always thought he was a good looking guy, that any girl would be lucky to have him as he respected women in such a way. But right now, as the kitchen was dim and his body was lit up from the kitchen light, he was more than just handsome. His body was well-formed, and he was overall very pleasing to look at. 

Breaking from your thoughts, you cleared your throat. “Got any wine?”

With a nod of his head he closed the fridge door and went to the small wine fridge that was hidden under the kitchen counter. “Red or white?” You thought about it for a minute, suddenly pausing and becoming completely still. “Erica are you okay?” Chris’ voice brought you back to reality. 

“Umm, yeah, I think,” you said with a slight shiver. “It’s-it’s just that, I never drank wine. I don’t even know why I asked to have some wine. I usually would just have a beer here or there, but never wine.”

Chris’ face soothed when he understood you were alright. He smiled widely as he grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses. He uncorked the wine and began to pour a glass for you as you sat down on the stool at the kitchen island, watching him intently. He poured himself a glass and held it up to you, a gentle giggle evading your mouth as you clinked your glass with his. 

Taking a sip, you hummed in content as the cool liquid washed down your throat; it tasted delicious. “I guess you could say I introduced you to wine,” Chris admitted. 

Your eyebrows rose as he uttered his words. “Really?” you asked in surprise. 

The smile that broke across his face made your face heat up with blush as your heart rate began to accelerate. “It was our first date. We were at an Italian restaurant and they didn’t serve beer. Only wine. That was when you asked me for help because you said you never had wine before.” He held up the bottle before setting it down in front of you. 

“This is the wine we had on our first date. We always make sure to have it stocked here for you. Wine is your go-to method of de-stressing, whether it was a stressful day at work, or if we get into a fight.”

You perked up as he spoke, becoming more alert as a feeling nagged in the back of your mind. “Do-do we fight a lot?”

His face became sullen and he cast his gaze downwards. You had no idea what was going through his mind at this moment; no idea that he was thinking about the fight the two of you had that led you to storm out of the house, resulting in this accident and your memory loss; no idea that he felt guilty for all of it. 

Reaching out, you grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. “Chris?” you called his name as his gaze snapped up to meet yours. 

“Sorry. Umm, I mean we fight like normal couples do. But we always make up afterwards.” You listened to him intently but something felt off with him. 

From everything that happened today, you were stressed, tired and ready to just break down and it seemed now was the time your body wanted to do so. Tears started to fall from your eyes as your head was bowed. They came slowly at first, but soon you couldn’t hold back the sniffling anymore. 

Chris sensed without delay what was happening as he rounded the corner and wrapped you tightly in his arms. At that point, you let it all out as his grey shirt became soaked with your tears. His arms tightened around you and you felt a sense of safeness in his grip. Lifting your arms up, you splayed your hands on his back; your hands clenching at his shirt as you continued to sob. 

Everything was finally catching up to you; the accident, the stress, getting a memory back but Sebastian not helping you through it. All of it came crashing down at once, but it felt good to let it all out; it felt even better to have Chris there for support. 

You pulled away after your sobs died down, letting out a chuckle at how wet his shirt had become. “Sorry about your shirt,” you laughed. 

Chris looked down, seeing his shirt wet from your tears but shrugged it off. “It’s fine. It’s not like I don’t have 20 of the same ones in the closet.” You laughed again, a somewhat sad laugh but it was a laugh nonetheless. “Now, do you want to tell me what just happened there?”

Letting out a sigh, you wiped the tears from your face, wincing as the bruising was still tender on your face. “It’s just, everything I guess. Everything came crashing down on me at once. I think the main reason was that I remembered a memory back at the restaurant, and Sebastian wouldn’t help me through it. He told me to drop it, when all I wanted to know is what happened. I can’t just remember a memory and then not have someone help me through it. I feel betrayed by him I guess.”

He cupped your cheeks, tilting your head up so you could meet his gaze. “Hey, it’s alright to cry about this Erica. It’s alright to feel strong emotions and to let them out. I don’t know much about the memory you remembered from the restaurant, but I do know that it was during a very difficult time for you and Sebastian. It was near the end of your   
relationship.”

Your chin began to quiver uncontrollably at that moment and Chris leaned down to kiss your forehead. It was as if time had stilled; his lips on your skin grounded you in the moment, tearing you away from the sad memories. His lips stayed on your forehead as his thumbs brushed tenderly on your cheeks; he was very aware of the bruises still dusting your face. You took a few deep breaths, willing those tears away and it worked. 

As Chris pulled away, there was a smile he seemed to try and hide, but you saw through it. “Better?” he asked and you nodded. 

“Thank you Chris,” you breathily replied, your eyes scanning his lips and up to his eyes. “I-I think I’m going to head to bed.” 

Chris smiled, giving you a nod as he pulled his hands away. “Sleep good. I’ll see you in the morning.”

You gave him a smirk before heading off towards the master bedroom. Once inside, you made your way to the bathroom, needing to take a shower after your melt-down. You stood in front of the mirror, naked, as you inspected yourself. The large bruise across the left side of your cheek was still very dark and purple. It would take a few weeks for it to fully heal and you would have to wear some makeup to cover it up. Turning to your side, the bruises on your ribs were also still a garish deep purple. Luckily, nothing seemed to bother those bruises too much unless you slept on your left side. It was beginning to get easier to breathe more deeply and you were grateful that there was not much more harm done to you from the accident, well, physically at least. 

The hot water felt good on your body as the shower helped your tense muscles. In any kind of tense situation you dealt with, your neck muscles always became tight. It had been a whirlwind of the last few days and while you were sad to see Sebastian go back to NYC, in a way you were kind of relieved. You felt that you and Chris could really start to bond, and hopefully he could help you get some more memories back by showing you pictures, telling you stories and taking you to places that the two of you used to go. 

Done with the shower, you made your way back into the bedroom, only to see Dodger lying on the bed, waiting for you. Chris must have fed him dinner and let him out to do his nightly business; bringing him in the room while you were in the shower. Getting a pair of shorts and tank top on, you climbed into bed and gave Dodger a kiss on his nose, hoping for a good night’s sleep. 

~~~

“Erica,” Chris was frantically yelling your name while gently nudging you awake from your nightmare. “Erica, sweetheart please wake up!” Your eyes snapped open, your chest heaving as your throat felt hoarse. Your body felt on fire and your throat felt like you had been walking through the Sahara desert for days without water. 

“Wh-what happened?” you asked breathily, your mind fuzzy as you felt disoriented. 

Chris visibly relaxed his shoulders. “You were having a nightmare. You were screaming so loud it woke me up. I came in here to check on you and you were thrashing around the entire bed. Poor Dodger was shaking in the corner.” 

You scanned the room as your eyes finally landed on Dodger, who was in fact in the far corner, watching you intently. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

Chris placed his hands on your shoulder, “Hey, there is nothing to be sorry about. It was just a nightmare Erica.” You began to inhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth, hoping to steady your breathing. “Do you know what your nightmare was about?”

You looked up at Chris’ waiting eyes, just wanting to get lost in the sea of them. “I think it was about my mom. I can’t remember much about it. But there was just a lot of pain it seemed like.” 

Chris swallowed, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he gave a shaky nod. “Try to get back to sleep alright? You really need your rest.” You nodded at him before laying back down in bed. As you watched him walk away, there was a tugging feeling at your chest; you didn’t want him to leave. 

“Chris?” He turned to face you just as he got to the door. “Will-will you stay here with me tonight. Please?” You could see the internal battle in his eyes that he was debating if it was a good idea or not; but in the end, he granted your plea. He climbed in next to you, calling Dodger up onto the bed as Dodger lay on the other side of you. Chris kept his distance, but you were just grateful that he was there with you after your nightmare; even though you couldn’t recall the events. “Will you tell me what happened to my mom?”

He let out a deep breath before turning his body to face you. His response was delayed as he stared back into your longing eyes. “Maybe tonight isn’t the best time. But I’ll tell you soon. I promise.” Giving him a subtly smiled, you nodded your head and rolled onto your back, your hand reaching for Dodger to pet his fur. The feeling of his soft fur helped you tire as you closed your eyes and lulled to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Hot. That was the only way you could describe the way you felt at this exact moment. Your body was on fire, from head to toe. Opening your eyes you found yourself laying on your right side as your left arm was draped around Dodger. Well that explains why my front half is so damn hot your mind thought as you yawned into a pile of fur.   
Your legs felt stiff as you began to stir in bed; your eyes widening as you sudden realized there was an arm draped over your hip. You held your breath, trying to get out of your foggy morning haze. The arm that was around you pulled you closer, a soft sigh humming in your ear from behind. 

Peering around the room, your eyes landed back on Dodger and you grasped where you were. Chris’ house, or, your house as well. It was Chris who was behind you, snuggling into your back; last night’s events coming back to you. You were having a nightmare, and Chris came in to check on you. Before he left you asked him to stay. But the two of you definitely weren’t cuddling when you went to sleep. 

You had to admit, even though you were warm, you didn’t mind his arm draped around you, even though you could feel his morning wood poking you in the back. Hey, he’s a guy, it happens; your memories aren’t that far gone. 

You paused your movements as Chris began to stir from behind, his lips placing a kiss to your exposed shoulder. Even though you felt extremely hot, his kiss made you break out into goosebumps, a tingling sensation shooting down your spine and you had to stifle a moan that wanted to rip from the back of your throat. It felt nice and you wouldn’t have minded waking up like this every morning. 

“Mmmmm,” Chris hummed into your ear making you shiver. Your ministrations must have woken him up as you felt him stiffen. “Shit,” he cursed while pulling away from you.   
“Shit I’m so sorry Erica. I-I must have rolled over and started cuddling you at some point during the night.”

Your hand clasped over your mouth, containing your giggle because you didn’t want him to feel bad about it. “Chris it’s alright, really,” you reassured with soft eyes. 

He pulled his arm away from you as you felt the bed rustle behind you. Turning, you saw Chris scramble towards the door, leaving faster than Speedy Gonzalez. Frowning, you turned to Dodger, scratching behind his ear as he began to thump his back leg on the bed. “What’s wrong with your Daddy huh boy?”

~~~

You made your way to the kitchen after taking a shower to cool down from being so warm; the smell of bacon hitting your nostrils the minute you opened the bedroom door. Dodger went barreling down the hallway as he heard his food being scooped from the bag. The hardwood floor of the hallway felt nice and cool against your warm bare feet. 

As you reached the kitchen, you saw Dodger inhaling his food as Chris was turning over the bacon in the frying pan; waffles sticking out of the toaster. “Morning,” you said as you sat down on the stool, watching him cook. 

“Morning,” he replied without turning to face you. You frowned at his non-gesture, wondering what had him in this sort of mood. He placed a plate of food in front of you, his hands threading through his hair. On the plate sat two waffles, four strips of bacon, and two pieces of toast. You reached for the syrup and poured them over your waffles before digging in. 

“So, would you mind if I took a couple of phone calls this morning?” Chris asked hesitantly. “It’s just my manager is on my case about reading some of these new scripts.”

Your eyes grew wide as he asked you the question. “Chris. It’s fine. Really. I don’t want you to stop doing your job and I don’t want to be a nuisance,” you reassured him. He gave you a quick smile before heading out of the room and towards his office. You looked down to see Dodger sitting at your feet, tail wagging. “Well, I guess it’s you and me boy.” Dodger barked at your words as his tongue rolled out. 

~~~

The next two days seemed rather similar; sans Chris sleeping with you since you luckily didn’t have another bad nightmare. You woke up early and took a shower, washing away the heat of your body from the previous night’s sleep. Next, you went into the kitchen where Chris always seemed to be close to finished with making breakfast. It was as if he had a sixth sense, knowing exactly when you would wake so he could get started. And you never minded, because Chris was an excellent breakfast maker. After breakfast, you would take Dodger on a walk since Chris was always cooped up in his office with the door shut. Once home, you would binge watch some television shows before having lunch. And after lunch? Yep, more television watching. 

By the third morning, you were starting to get a little anxious about how he was acting. He was a famous actor and you knew he had a lot of movie priorities, along with meetings, interviews, press and photoshoots, but he seemed to be distancing himself from you, and you wanted to get to the bottom of it. After all, he was supposed to be helping you try to regain your memories, not abandoning you altogether. 

“Chris,” you asked as he stood at the stove making pancakes. 

He didn’t bother turning around the look at you, instead just mumbling out a quick ‘hmmm’?

You sighed, shaking your head as you gathered your courage. “Why are you ignoring me?” You watched his reaction, his body stiffening at your words. He set down the spatula   
before turning around to face you. He looked doleful and sad as he walked up to the counter, his hands splaying down. 

“I’m,” he began to say before pausing. “I’m not ignoring you.”

“It sure seems like it.”

“I’m sorry Erica. I just, after the other morning, after sleeping together in the same bed. I feel…..I feel like I took advantage of you in that state and I’m feeling kinda guilty over here.”

You were completely and utterly shocked at his confession and you soon found yourself scrambling off of your stool and hugging him. He was warm, and comforting, and even though you didn’t have your memories back, you knew this was where you belonged; it just felt right. 

“Can I ask you a serious question?”

“Of course Erica. Anything.” The two of you were still hugging as you didn’t want to let go. 

“Were you really doing work in your office the last two days?”

His whole body began to shake with laughter, making you giggle in response. “No. No I wasn’t. My manager knows what is going on and since I didn’t have any projects lined up, he told me to take as much time off as I needed.” 

“So what were you doing in your office all that time?” you questioned. 

Chris sighed, wrapping you closer to himself. “To be honest, either sleeping or playing games on my phone, and now I feel even more terrible saying that.”

You pulled away as you gazed deep into his eyes; his eyes that were so blue you could get lost swimming in them. Cupping his cheeks, you pulled him down as you placed a soft kiss on his forehead; his breath fanning your neck. 

“Don’t feel terrible Chris. And please, don’t feel like you were taking advantage of me. You were only doing what you felt natural. And plus…” you paused, glancing down, biting your lip nervously before gazing into his eyes again, “I liked waking up to you cuddling me.” A soft blush spread across your face at your admittance. 

Chris cocked his head to the side, his brows raising. “Oh really?” he asked as he snaked his arms around your waist. You nodded your head, your lip still sucked between your teeth. “C’mere.” He pulled you closer as the two of you embraced once again. As you thought many a times, you felt safe here, and you knew it was where you belonged.

“What did you want to do today, since you won’t be hiding in your office?” you asked as Chris let out a delighted chuckle. 

“I think it’s going to rate later this evening, so how about the three of us, you, me and Dodger head outside for a swim?” You smiled at him, giving a nod. 

Once the two of you were finished eating breakfast, you helped clean up the kitchen before heading towards the bedroom to find a bathing suit to wear. Walking into the large closet, you made your way to the some built in shelves, pulling open the second to the last drawer where all your bathing suits were held. 

The first time you went swimming with him and Seb, you were feeling self-conscious about being in a bikini. So you opted for a retro 1950’s inspired one-piece. You were still unsure about wearing a bikini in front of Chris and you found another one-piece to wear. This one was a halter top tied suit that had a cutout pattern on the side. The suit was a deep green color and it went well with your slightly tanned skin. 

You opened the glass door of the bedroom and saw Chris already goofing off in the pool with Dodger. A smile came about your lips as you saw Dodger dive deep into the pool to retrieve his diving sticks. Wrapping your arms around your mid-section, you made your way closer to them. It was a beautifully sunny day, but there were darker storm clouds in the far distance. 

“You look beautiful sweetheart,” Chris said and his pet name for you didn’t go unnoticed. Usually he had been pretty good about using any pet names, but it was obvious he didn’t want to keep pretending by not using them. You didn’t mind at all. In fact, you felt your face heat up from the name and you gave him a bright smile. “Come and join us!   
The water feels amazing!!”

Making your way towards the deep end you walked onto the diving board as Chris looked at you with a cocked head. Wanting it to be a fun day, you took a giant jump, tucking your legs beneath you and splashed into the water doing a cannonball.


	9. Chapter 9

The following morning was like all the rest. Chris made breakfast while you showered. The two of you ate before taking Dodger on a walk or to the dog park. It felt refreshing having everything repeating each day, but you still hadn’t had a new memory since the whole ‘wine’ incident and you were starting to become frustrated with yourself. 

You were sitting on the couch, your laptop on your lap as your hands hovered over the keyboard. It was giving you anxiety just thinking about logging into your social media accounts and googling your relationship with Chris. By now, you would give anything to have some memories back, even if it meant going as low as reading gossips sights. 

Chris came and sat down next to you, a sly smile on his face as you turned to look at him. “What’s gotten you in such a good mood?” you questioned with a grin. 

“I have a couple of errands to run. But I need you to be ready by 7 o’clock tonight.”

Your brows furrowed in wonder. “And what do I need to be ready for?”

“I’m taking you on a date.”

You couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips. Giving him a nod, you asked, “an adventure date, or a food date?”

Naturally your question caused Chris to rifle out a laughter. “Food. It’s a food date.”

“And on a scale of 1 to 10, how fancy is this food date?”

Chris pondered a minute, his head going from side to side. “I’d say about a 7.”

You smiled, nodding back. “It’s a date.” He gave you a soft kiss on your forehead and those same tingles you always experienced when he touched you came coursing through your body. Watching him walk away, you had to hold back your happy dance you wanted to do. Of course it wouldn’t be your first real date with him, but to you, it felt like a first   
date. 

~~~

Later that afternoon as Chris was still out running errands, Sebastian had finally texted you. He knew you were mad at him and he was giving you some space to cool off; it’s just the way you had always been. 

Seb: I’m sorry 

Erica: Are you now?

Seb: You know I am. 

Erica: I’m just frustrated right now Seb. I finally recall a memory and you just flat out tell me to drop it. I thought you wanted to help me with my memories?

Seb: I do sweetie, I do trust me. It’s just that it was a really bad memory for you to remember. I was kind of taken aback by it when you brought it up. It was a really dark time   
between us and I just wasn’t ready to talk about it. 

You re-read his text again, Chris’ words also echoing through your mind. Both of them explaining that it was a hard time without your relationship. With a sigh, you texted back. 

Erica: I get it Seb. It’s alright. Just please, once I get more memories and I ask for your help, please don’t push me away. 

Seb: I won’t. I promise.

Just as you were about to set your phone down, you decided to hold onto it. You had forgone not going through your phone, looking at pictures and your social media because you weren’t ready for all of that yet. You just wanted to settle into somewhat of a normal as possible routine. But now here you were, sitting down, phone in hand. 

Taking a deep breath, you opened up your gallery and began scrolling up to the year of 2015; you weren’t ready to see anything after that just yet. There were many pictures of you and Sebastian together in your apartment in NYC. You kept swiping through the photos, many of them you remembered as it was a time before your memories became fuzzy. 

Having enough of the trip down memory lane, you resolved it was time to take a shower and get ready for your second-first date with Chris. 

As you lathered your hair and body, the smile on your face never faltered and you felt all giddy inside, happy to finally get a chance to hopefully remember more memories of you and Chris. After drying off, you put on your robe and began to blow-dry your hair. Looking through the drawers of the bathroom, you chose to keep your hair simple, giving your strands a loose curl. 

Grabbing your makeup you also kept it easy with a little foundation, mainly to cover your bruising, eyeliner and mascara. Giving yourself a once-over in the mirror you made your way to the closet to determine what to wear. 

You soon became overwhelmed with all the clothes you saw to choose from; dresses, slacks, blouses, evening gowns, there was just so much! Your eyes landed on a little black dress that you thought would be perfect for this evening. It wasn’t anything over the top, but it was definitely more than just a simple summer dress. 

The dress had a sweetheart neckline, the top half of the dress was black lace. It cinched at the waist and then flowed out from there, stopping just before your knees. You paired them with a pair of black high heels and you were ready to go. 

You opened the door and made your way down the hallway; your heels clicking loudly on the hardwood floor. Coming into the kitchen, you saw Chris standing with his back to you. You cleared your throat to get his attention. 

He swiftly turned around, his eyes going wide as he took in your appearance. “Shit baby,” he cursed as you felt blush creep up from your neck and to your face; his pet name not going unnoticed. “You look fucking incredible.”

You chewed on your lower lip as you took in his appearance as well. He was wearing black slacks, black dress shoes and a dark blue button down shirt; and he pulled it off as if it was the easiest thing in the world. 

“You look rather dashing yourself Chris,” you replied with a wink. 

He smiled, still not taking his eyes off you as his hand reached onto the counter behind him. Chris finally snapped out of his little staring problem since he couldn’t find what he was looking for. He quickly turned around and grabbed what was on the counter before walking towards you. 

“I got these for you,” Chris declared, his voice rather husky in that moment. In his hand was a beautiful bouquet of lilies, your favorite flowers. 

“Chris,” you took the flowers from them, inhaling their delicious smell, “you didn’t have to do that. But thank you. They are beautiful.”

~~~

Chris had called ahead and made a reservation at the restaurant and now the two of you were seated inside. You two were far back in the corner, away from prying eyes in the dimly lit room. There were candles on each table along with soft jazz music playing in the background. The walls were painted a deep red and were lined with black and white photos of jazz players. 

The waiter came over, holding a bottle of wine. “Your usual Mr. Evans?”

Chris smiled at the waiter, nodding his head. “Yes, that would be great.”

The waiter popped open the wine bottle, poured your glasses before putting the bottle in the wine bucket; your eyes never leaving Chris’ gaze. 

“The usual?” you asked with an amused smile once the waited had left. 

“What can I say, this is our favorite restaurant,” Chris mirrored your smile before you clinked your glasses together. The wine was delectable as it smoothly ran down your throat; you knew it was the same wine you and Chris shared just the other night. “This is also the place where I took you on our first date.”

Your eyes grew large as you set down the wine glass, your stomach fluttering with butterflies. “So, you are recreating our first date then huh?” you asked bemused. 

“I guess you could say that, although, you’re also seeming to remember it quite clear.” Cocking your head, you gave him a look of confusion. “That dress you’re wearing is the same dress you wore when we came here on our first date.”

Looking down, you smoothed out the skirt of your dress, a soft blush coating your cheeks; your subconscious mind must have helped to pick out the dress. 

The dinner was amazing, and after you had ordered your meal, another smirk appeared on Chris’ lips, letting you know it was what you always ordered when the two of you came here. While you were happy that you were subconsciously remembering things, it would have been more helpful if your actual memories were to start popping up at some point. 

Chris paid for the tab and the two of you headed out the back door of the restaurant; Chris’ hand at the small of your back. His simple touch sent a shiver down your spine; you craved more, it felt natural. Walking up to his car, Chris opened the passenger side door for you but you paused before you turned around the face him. 

You looked up at his face, biting your lip in anticipation. “Can I ask you something?” A memory had resurfaced as you and Chris were walking out of the restaurant; it was almost as if it was déjà vu; the memory clear and vivid. 

He smiled at you tenderly, nodding. “Of course you can.”

With your heart beating erratically in your chest, you went for it, not even giving it a second thought. Reaching up on your toes, you wrapped your right hand around his neck and placed a kiss to lips. In that moment, it might have sounded cliché, but it was if everything in the world disappeared; the only thing that mattered was you and Chris. His lips were soft as his beard tickled against your face, but you loved the feel of it. Your insides tingled as you pulled away; your eyes closed as his breath fanned your face. 

“That wasn’t really a question Erica,” Chris began to say as you opened your eyes, “but I’m not complaining one bit.” 

“I had a memory Chris. When you and I were just leaving the restaurant. It was crystal clear, no fuzziness at all to it. I kissed you. I initiated the kiss on our first date, right when   
we got into the parking lot.”

If Chris could have smiled any wider, you would have been shocked. His skin stretched over his cheekbones as he wrapped his arms around your back, lifting you off your feet and twirling you around. You squealed in such heavenly delight at how happy he was for you. He placed you back down on your feet, your faces millimeters apart as you felt his warm breath on your face. 

Chris lowered his head, your heart beating wildly as he placed his lips to yours. His hand came up to fist in your hair, holding you close as your hands rested on his hard chest. His kiss was intoxicating and you felt as if you could never have enough of this. 

Too soon, he pulled away, rubbing his thumb across your plump, just kissed lips. He gave you a lopsided smile before pulling you into his arms for a hug; a hug so comforting you never wanted to let go.


	10. Chapter 10

You went to bed that night with a smile on your face, Dodger curled up next to you as your hand stroked his fur. The night was everything you could have imagined, and much more. You had regained a memory between you and Chris, and you did everything you could to remake the memory happen again; and you weren’t disappointed. Chris was an amazing kisser, by far the best you had ever had, including Sebastian. Sebastian was wonderful and all, his mouth did amazing things, but it was as if Chris’ lips were destined for you. 

The next morning you woke up rather early and after doing your morning business, you headed out into the kitchen. You passed by the guest room Chris was staying in and noticed it was still closed; that, and there was no breakfast smell lingering from the kitchen. For once, you had woken up before him. 

You fed Dodger some breakfast and let him outside to go potty before starting breakfast of your own. Looking through the fridge, you settled on something that you had not had in a very long time. Usually breakfast consisted of pancakes and bacon, or waffles and bacon, but not today. 

Grabbing everything you needed out of the fridge and cupboards, you began to get to work on breakfast. You even found an apron that you just had to wear; it was red, white and blue and said ‘Yes, I’m dating Captain America!’ 

You started on the muffins first, as you knew it would take the longest the make. Once those we nearly done you checked the clock and noticed Chris would more than likely be getting up soon so you started on the omelettes. 

The music was playing softly in the background, along with the whir of the range hood fan as you began to cut up the ham and peppers, your hips swaying to the music as you sang quietly to the music. Hands wrapped around your torso and you froze, dropping your knife as it clattered on the marble countertop. 

The arms around you immediately let go of you as you heard Chris curse from behind you. “Fuck, damnit Erica I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to startle you.” You let out the breath you were holding and you slowly turned around to face Chris. “It’s just habit. For a minute, walking in here and seeing you cooking breakfast, I just forgot everything. It seemed so normal.”

You cupped his cheek, your hands scratching his beard as his eyes closed. “Chris, it’s fine alright? I was just caught off guard for a minute. I don’t mind, really.” You gave him a smile, reaching on your tip-toes to give him a kiss on his cheek. 

“Well, it smells delicious. What are you making?”

“I have blueberry muffins in the oven and I’m making some ham and pepper omelettes. No offence, I was just getting tired of pancakes and bacon every morning,” you confessed with a giggle. “Also,” you began to say as you turned to face Chris who was now sitting in your usual spot on the stool, “where did I get this apron because it is amazing!”

His gaze glanced downwards and took in your apron, a chuckle coming from his lips. “Sebastian’s girlfriend Margarita. In fact, she had them hand-made and she has her own that says ‘Yes, I’m dating the Winter Soldier!’ Here, I think I even have a picture of the two of you wearing them.” Chris pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his gallery, his face lighting up at the picture. You leaned across the counter as he handed you his phone. Sure enough, there was you and Margarita in your matching aprons; yours was red, white and blue while hers was black, red and gray. Margarita was absolutely beautiful. She had light brown hair at the top of her head, which then faded to a dark blonde; her hair naturally full with curls. The two of you had giant smiles on your faces while showing off your aprons. 

“She’s really pretty,” you declared while handing back the phone to Chris. Deep in your gut, it hurt to see who Sebastian was dating because you were still in the time frame of you dating him. But you had to move on and realize you were with Chris. 

He must have sensed your sad smile and the grief in your eyes. “So are you Erica,” he spoke with such certainty. You gave Chris a smile before turning to face the stove and continue cooking. 

Once finished, you placed a plate down for Chris and he dug into the food at once; a moan escaping his lips as he began to chew. “Your cooking is to die for. I’ve missed it.”

Your face began to redden from his comment as you dug into the warm blueberry muffin. “So, what did you have planned for today?”

“Well, I was thinking we could sit down and go over some photos that I have. It was always something you loved to do, make sure we had lots of photographs around and there is a box filled with some. Hopefully a few will jog your memory.”

Following breakfast, you went to take a quick shower before meeting Chris in the living room. He had a box placed on his lap as you sat down next to him on the couch. “Ready?”

You took a deep breath, inhaling through your mouth and exhaling through your nose. Placing your hand on his wrist, you gave him a nod. “I’m ready.”

He opened the box, pulling out a stack of photos altogether. This was your and Chris’ box as it only contained photos of the two of you. Slowly he began to go through each one, letting you take your time to examine them. 

All the pictures were of either you, Chris, or you and Chris together. And you were happy, you both were. The two of you were always smiling, or kissing, nearly bringing tears to your eyes but you held them off. 

“Stop!” you practically shouted as Chris pulled out the next photo, your eyes lingering on the necklace you were wearing in the picture. He handed you the picture as you stared at it. The necklace you were wearing once belonged to your mother, and she never took it off. A sudden wave of guilt and sadness washed through your body as you sniffled back your tears. 

Chris placed a hand on your back in a comforting way. “What is it?”

Pointing out the necklace, you replied, “that was my mothers. She never took that necklace off.” You turned to face him, your eyes glossy with tears. “What happened to her Chris?”

Chris looked from at the photograph, then back to you. He knew he should tell you the truth to what happened to your mom, but he knew exactly the struggles you dealt with when it happened. He was scared to his wits about having you go through those struggles again. “She was in an accident Erica.”

Your fingernails began to click on the coffee table and your leg began to bounce. “Yes, you said that before. But what EXACTLY happened to her? You promised me you would tell me Chris. I’m asking you, please. She was the only family I had left. I just-I just want to know what happened to her.”

Chris let out a sigh and he hung his head low. He was battling internally with himself on whether to tell you entirely what happened. Lifting his head back up to face you, he grabbed your hands with his and squeezed them. “There was an intruder in her home. He….he had a gun and she put up a fight. He ended up shooting her in the stomach and….and she didn’t make it.” His words hit you so hard you couldn’t even move, couldn’t breathe. “I’m so sorry Erica.”

Your chin started to quiver, tears falling from your eyes. “She was alone?” Chris nodded at your question. “She must have been so scared….so scared! I…I could have been there with her Chris!”

“No baby! Don’t ever think that. If you were there when it happened then there is a good chance you wouldn’t be here right now, with me. I…fuck I couldn’t imagine my life without you Erica.” Chris was looking longingly into your eyes but your vision was blurry with tears. 

“She-she’s gone. She’s gone Chris! The only family I had left,” you cried out, leaning into his waiting arms. He held you tightly as your body began to shake. The realization of your mom gone finally sunk and you lost it. You had no family left as you never knew your father. He was just a sperm donor to you and your mom was an only child, your grandparents dying when you were younger. 

“I know baby, I know,” he pulled you to his body as you continued to sob. Your body shook with tears and you soon felt it hard to breathe; your chest restricting as if someone was squeezing it. You began to gasp for air and your eyes grew wide. Chris realized what was happening to you. He repositioned you on the couch so that you were laying between his legs and your back was to his chest. He placed a hand over your heart, holding you dear to him. 

“Breathe baby, just breathe. Breathe with me, in, and out. Yes, just like that. Good girl.” You took deep breaths as you felt his heart beating along your back and tried to match his breathing. “Deep breath in…there you go, and deep breath out.” Chris was coaching you and with his soothing voice, you soon began to breathe a lot easier. 

“What-what was that?” you asked Chris in confusion, never having experienced something like that before. 

“It was a panic attack. You started getting them towards the end of your relationship with Sebastian. I suffer from anxiety attacks so I kinda knew how to help you out in those situations if I was around.”

The two of you stayed in the position for you didn’t know how long. You had a breakthrough last night, and while you thought today had ruined that with your panic attack, you knew deep down it didn’t. Chris knew exactly how to help you through it, which only made things that much more confusing for you. Could it possibly be only the death of your mother that caused your panic attacks? Deep down, you had a feeling there was more to the story, more to your memories, but you didn’t want to handle them right now. Right now you just wanted to be in Chris’ arms where you felt safe and secure.


	11. Chapter 11

After experiencing your first panic attack, at least the first one you could remember, last night, you had fallen asleep in Chris’ arms on the couch in the living room. The attack wiped out your energy and you slept through the entire night without waking up. Chris must have carried you to the bedroom at some point during the night, but you never stirred awake. 

The following morning you were woken up by some very slobbery kisses. Slowly opening your eyes, it was none other than Dodger licking your face. “Eww boy! Why!” you giggled through the slobbery mess on your face, gently pushing him away. Dodger sat close to your face, but stopped his licking escapades. 

There was a quick knock on your door before Chris opened it, peeking his head inside. “Everything alright?” he questioned with a frown, but it quickly disappeared when he noticed what was going on. “Dodger! Find your own girl to give kisses to!” A giggle evaded your mouth, your cheeks blushing. 

“I’m going to take a shower and get this goobers drool off of me,” you remarked, your feet hitting the cool wood floor. 

“Breakfast will be ready when you’re done.” You gave him a smile before heading into the bathroom. 

Breakfast smelled wonderful as you rounded the corner and into the kitchen, a plate already waiting for you on the counter. Hungrily you began to eat, your energy completely drained from last night. The pancakes were light and fluffy per usual, the bacon nice and crisp. 

“You have that follow up appointment with Dr. Hughes at 1 this afternoon,” Chris spoke, taking a sip of his juice. It had completely slipped your mind about your appointment, but you were actually excited, hoping Dr. Hughes had some more information for you. 

“Will you come with me?” you asked, gazing at him through your lashes, taking a bite of your toast.   
Chris reached over the counter, taking your free hand in his, a smile on his face. “Of course I will Erica. Anything you need or want, I’m right here for you.”

~~~

“Good afternoon Erica, Mr. Evans,” Dr. Hughes greeted the two of you in his office later that afternoon. “How have you been feeling physically Erica?”

“Not too bad. The bruising on my face has gone down and hasn’t been giving me too much of an issue, same with the bruises on my ribs.”

Dr. Hughes nodded, typing into his iPad. “Good. I’m glad to hear that. Now, how about mentally? Any memories resurface in the last week?”

You turned your head to look at Chris, both of you exchanging smiles. “Actually there have been a few memories.”

The doctor paused, looking up at you with a smile, his hands folding in front of him on his desk. “Really? That’s great news Erica. Can you explain them to me?”

You nodded before retelling him your memories. “I had asked for wine the other night, even though I didn’t ever remember drinking wine before. And then Chris took me to the same restaurant where he took me on our first date, and Chris said I wore the same outfit that I did the first time, and also chose the same meal that I always order when we go there.”

“So those were more subconscious memories then? That is a really good start Erica. Have you had any other memories, ones that maybe appeared like a flashback, or déjà vu?”

You blushed, recalling the memory of how you initiated your first kiss with Chris outside of the restaurant as you explained it to Dr. Hughes; a small smile appearing on his own lips. But then you remembered the first memory you recalled, when you, Seb and Chris were out to dinner; your head down casted as you fiddled with your thumbs. 

“Erica? Is there something else?” Dr. Hughes urged, Chris taking your hand in his and giving you a reassuring squeeze. 

A stray tear rolled down your cheek, your thumb wiping it quickly as you sniffled. “Yeah, there was another memory. It was a fight, between me and Sebastian. I-I didn’t remember the fight at all so when I asked Sebastian about it, he got really defensive and told me to drop it.”

Dr. Hughes put his iPad down and he straightened his posture. “Erica, I know there was a traumatic incident that happened with your mother which caused her death back in July of 2015. Looking back at the events and doing some digging, I believe there is a reason you don’t remember anything past June of 2015.”

You stared at him, willing him to continue as your heart began to pound in your chest. “And?” you asked, your voice a bit demanding. 

“I think the car accident caused you to repress any and all memories that happened from that event and later, to protect you. Imagine that your mind is protecting you, like a cocoon. Not wanting to relive such a tragedy all-over again.”

You closed your eyes, shaking your head back and forth trying to wrap your mind around what he just said. “To protect me? What does that even mean?”

“Erica, the mind is very powerful, and after the trauma you experienced beforehand, your mind wants to protect you from going through that again.”

Your jaw began to clench, getting frustrated by this whole situation. “Alright, I get that my ‘mind’ wants to protect me from such memories, I really do. But I want to know everything. The whole story as to what happened to her. Who was this person that killed her? What happened to him? Why did he choose to break into her house? There must be some sort of article out there. I mean, seriously. A man breaks into a single woman’s home and brutally murders her. There HAD to of been news coverage right? I can just find it online and maybe that will help me remember.”

“You won’t be able to find an article about it Erica,” Chris said. 

You turned to face him, eyes growing wide. “And why not?”

“Because you were dating Sebastian at the time, and between him being an actor, you dating him, and with the help of his publicist, there was little to no coverage on the   
incident.”

“Well this day just gets better and better,” you snapped back. 

The room fell silent as the air grew thick with tension and you slipped your hand from Chris’. You didn’t want to be ungrateful for his support, you just needed time to think right   
now. 

“I do have something I want to run by you Erica,” Dr. Hughes spoke up, clearing the air. “I want you to see a Psychiatrist. She specializes in hypnotism. There is no guarantee, but there have become remarkable studies where those who have had amnesia have been able to retrieve lost memories. You may or may not be able to uncover those memories you wish to know about.”

You sunk back into your chair, your gaze going to you lap as you thought about it for a minute. “And if I don’t get those memories back?”

“Erica I really want you to try and get your memories back as slowly as possible. I know you wish to know everything about the last three years right now, but it can be quite an overload on your brain. And from the trauma you experienced the first time around, well, Erica I’m worried it might be even more severe the second time you experience it.”

You listened to what your doctor was trying to tell you. He was the professional of course as you tried to brush your anger to the side. You felt Chris stroke your arm, closing   
your eyes as you contemplated if seeing a Psychiatrist was a good idea or not. “Alright,” you whispered. “I’ll see the Psychiatrist.”

“Good. Her name is Dr. Stevens and she is available tomorrow at 11 a.m. Do you want me to book the appointment?”

“Alright,” you nodded back at him. “I’ll be here.”

“Perfect. You’re on the right path Erica. You are making remarkable progress after only one week. If your memories don’t begin to resurface from your visits with Dr. Stevens, we’ll talk about discussing them together.” You nodded, holding back your tears. 

You said your goodbyes with Dr. Hughes and you and Chris headed out into the parking lot. Your hands were balled into fists at your side as you were still angry about the whole situation. Chris had told you in small detail what happened to your mother, but you knew deep down, there was still more to uncover. They were keeping quiet about something and you were determined to find out what it was. 

Chris must have noticed your anger as you reached his car because you stopped and wrapped his arms around you. “It’ll be alright Erica. We’ll get through this together. I promise.” You gripped the back of his shirt in your fists and you sobbed. Your body shook, Chris soothing your back with his hands. If it wasn’t for Chris keeping you grounded, you didn’t know how you would have handled this all. 

~~~

(Dream)

You had finally made it through the busy streets of New York City after being stuck in a horrific traffic jam; already running much later than you anticipated to your moms house. You had wanted to get there before night fell, but that wasn’t looking how you had planned for it as dusk soon began to set. 

“Hello?” your mother’s soft voice echoed through the speaker of your phone as it sat attached to a hands-free phone holder on your dash board. 

“Hey mom! Look, I was stuck in traffic so I’m going to be a little late coming over,” you spoke as you sped through the open freeway, heading to Pennsylvania. It was a close to two hour drive, but it was important that you see her. 

“Oh don’t worry about that sweetie. You just get here when you can. No rush.” You smiled at how wonderful of a person your mom was. “I’m just excited to see you. It’s been a few months.”

“Ugh, I know. I’ve been so busy with work and what not, getting ready to start filming a new movie. There is just so much detail that goes in to planning set designs before you even get to the filming part.”

“I know how hectic your schedule can be Erica. I’m just always happy to see you when I get the chance. I’m also eager to hear about the exciting news you wanted to tell me.” 

You chewed on your lower lip, nervous to tell her the news, but hoping she would be just as excited as you were when you found out. 

(End Dream)

You gasped awake, wiping the thin sheet of sweat off your forehead. It was pitch black outside as the moon shone brightly in the sky, illuminating the room. You jumped at the sudden movement next to you on the bed. Looking over, you realized it was Dodger stirring awake from your jolt. “Sorry buddy. I’m alright. You go back to bed,” you said quietly as you patted his side. 

Collapsing back into bed you let out a deep sigh. The dream felt so real, like it was a memory. Your conversation with Dr. Hughes suddenly came crashing back to you. He said your dreams could very well likely be actual memories, pushing their way through to you. With another deep sigh, you closed your eyes and tried to fall back asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

“Hi there Erica. My name is Dr. Stevens, please have a seat,” she motioned for you to take a seat in the chair across from her, rather large, desk. The walls were painted a neutral taupe color and Dr. Stevens had her diplomas and certifications posted in frames on the wall. She sat behind a large desk while you sat in a rather comfortable char across from her. There was also a light gray chaise lounge in the corner of the room.

You smiled politely while trying to not be intimidated at the same time. To say you were nervous would be a complete understatement. Last night you got little to no sleep at all as you tossed and turned, not knowing how to today would turn out.

As Chris drove you to the appointment, you began to suddenly be aware of the fact that you just might get your memories back today, and it was an overwhelming feeling. It had been nice taking your time with Chris, learning to get to know him on a more than friendship basis, but now you were uneasy with how this session would go.

“It’s nice to meet you too Dr. Stevens,” you replied with a curt nod.

“I have your file here from Dr. Hughes so I’m caught up on what has happened to you. I just want to say I’m sorry for everything you have had to go through the past week. But I’m here to help you and I hope that we can work together and get some of those memories back for you.”

Dr. Stevens went through the process of hypnosis with you before the two of you began. “Alright Erica, why don’t you lay down on the lounge there and get comfortable while I get set up.”

With shaky knees you got up from your chair and walked over the chaise lounge, laying back and getting as comfortable as you possibly could. You crossed your hands together over your stomach and took deep, calming breaths.

Soft music began to play in the room as Dr. Stevens situated a chair close to the lounge where you were. “Alright Erica, I want you to close your eyes and began taking deep breaths,” she spoke quietly, not wanting to disrupt the treatment. “Good. You feel yourself going deeper….deeper….into a nice comfortable hypnotic state. I want you to be aware of other sensations in your body. Notice how your shoulders feel right now….how your muscles feel….relaxed.”

As you listened to the soft voice of Dr. Stevens, doing as she was asking, you soon found yourself slipping away.

You jolted awake, your body pulsating with warmth, splaying your hand over your heart to feel it beating rapidly inside your chest. “What….,?” you choked out, your eyes wide as you looked around the room, trying to ground yourself.

“Sshh, it’s alright Erica. You’re safe in my office,” Dr. Stevens declared in a soft, but present voice. Your eyes landed on her, realizing where you were and you nodded. “How do you feel?”

“Umm….I don’t know really,” you replied.

“Did you remember anything? Any memories or events?”

Your head shook rapidly, that much you knew of. “No, no memories.”

“How about feelings?” Slowly you nodded your head, closing your eyes to hold back the tears that wanted to come. “What kind of feelings Erica?” the doctor asked in a gentle, calm voice.

You blew out a shaky breath as your chin began to quiver. “Ummm…..a lot of pain. Mental and emotional pain and anguish. Heartbreak. Anger. A lot of sadness.” Cupping your hands over your face you let all your feelings out; everything you had just experienced while under hypnosis. It was so much, so unbearable to feel everything at once as your body wracked uncontrollably. You felt that familiar squeeze of your chest as you gasped for air during your cries.

“Oh Erica,” Dr. Stevens called your name, her voice sympathetic, letting you deal with your feelings. “Do you want me to go and get Chris for you?”

You couldn’t speak, didn’t want to risk it so you nodded your head instead. The door opened and closed as you went into a sitting position on the couch, your back hunched over as your tears flooded down your face. You began to rock back and forth on the couch, your tears dripping off your chin and onto your pants.

The door to the office opened again as you felt the cushion dip beside you; strong arms wrapping around your frame. “Oh baby,” Chris’ voice rang in your ears as you turned to cuddle into his comforting arms.

“Ch-chri….” You only managed to sob out his name as your body convulsed in his arms.

He kissed the top of your head, whispering encouraging words into your ears. “Shhhh, it’s going to be alright. Let’s get you home sweetheart.”

~~~

Chris helped you to bed promptly when you two returned back to the house, placing the blankets over you. While your sobbing had subsided, you still shook as you were adjusting to all the feelings coursing through you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Chris asked as his hands combed through your hair.

You wanted to, you truly did, but you didn’t know how you could possibly go about describing the way you felt in this exact moment. Not thinking of a way on how to describe it, you shook your head instead.

“That’s alright sweetheart. I’m here if you want to talk about it ok? Do you want me to stay with you?”

It was a battle, between mind and heart at this point for you. Your heart wanted him to stay, to wrap his arms around you and comfort you all night, but you knew you needed to be alone, to process all of this.

“I just need some time to myself right now.” Chris luckily understood and didn’t hesitate to let you be. He placed a kiss on your head before leaving the room and closing the door.

~~~

24 hours. That was how long you had shut yourself off from the world, from Chris, and stayed in the room. Chris had brought you in some food, but you barely touched any of it. You had also received multiple texts from Seb but you neglected to reply. He was worried about you, Chris telling him what happened and he just wanted to make sure you were alright.

After your long stay in bed, you finally got up, shooting off a quick text to Seb, letting him know that you were feeling better and made your way out into the living room.

“Hey,” Chris smiled wide when he saw you. He was sitting on the couch, laptop on his lap.

“Working?” you asked with a soft smile of your own.

“Not really. Just fiddling around. Do you want something to eat?”

You looked around, noticing the bright sunny day outside. “Actually, I was thinking about going for a swim,” you stated with a shrug. “Care to join me?”

You and Chris had spent nearly three hours in the pool; relaxing, talking, and playing around. Your fingers looked like prunes by the time you got out.

Chris made a quick and easy dinner that night and the two of you watched a movie together. You still weren’t feeling 100% better; your heart still hurting from everything you felt during the hypnosis treatment, but you knew what you were getting into. You just hoped that after a few more treatments your memories would resurface.

~~~

Rolling over in bed the next morning, you pried open your eyes only to find an envelope placed on the pillow beside you. With furrowed brows you grabbed it and sat up in bed. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you opened the envelope. There appeared to be a letter, and another smaller envelope.

_Erica, I know the other day has been eating away at you. I hate to see you bothered and in pain. I want to help in any way that I can. Inside the smaller envelope you will find your first clue. I hope you are ready for an adventure!_

_XO Chris_

You were even more confused than before after reading the letter Chris wrote. “Clue?” you asked aloud to nobody but yourself. Pulling open the smaller envelope, you read it.

_When you’re feeling less than fresh_

_There’s just one place to go_

_To wash and get all squeaky clean_

_And scrub between each toe_

Immediately a smile came about your face as you ripped the covers off your body. A scavenger hunt. It was something your mother used to do for you as a kid all the time. You quickly made your way into the bathroom. Opening the glass door to the shower, you saw another small envelope taped to the wall. Grinning, you opened it.

_Boob tube, idiot box, eye and telly_

_Are names for this machine._

_Oprah, House and C.S.I_

_On it are weekly seen._

You raced out of the bathroom and padded down the hallway, your eyes searching for Chris but you couldn’t find him anywhere. Making it to the living room, sure enough, there was a small envelope leaning against the wall above the mantle of the fireplace, and just below the television set.

_It seems our clothes just keep returning_

_To this same machine._

_At least they’re better than the things_

_The ancients used to clean._

At first you began making your way to the master room closet, but froze halfway there. “Duh Erica, the washing machine,” you said to yourself as you backtracked and made your way to the laundry room. There wasn’t an envelope on the washing machine, so you opened it and peered inside to find your next little envelope.

_Communicate with family_

_Research, shop, and play games_

_Since this invention has swept the globe,_

_Our lives have really changed_

You frowned, thinking it to be your cell phone but you were sure that wasn’t it as you didn’t see an envelope near your phone when you woke up. Placing your finger to your lip and tapping gently, the lightbulb finally went off. Making your way back to the living room where you had seen Chris with his laptop yesterday, you frowned when you didn’t see it. Looking around the expanse living room, your eyes fell on the door to Chris’ office.

You opened the door and peeked inside, not finding Chris, but finding his computer. Walking slowly towards the desk, you soon began to grow a little nervous as you had not spotted Chris at all throughout the hunt around the house. Picking up the envelope, you read it.

_When couples are well-organized_

_They park the car in here._

_But otherwise it’s full of junk_

_And not one inch is clear._

A giggle escaped your mouth as you read the clue. You had been in the garage, numerous times and it was pristine clean.

Placing your hand on the doorknob to the garage, you twisted it to the right and opened the door. There, standing right in the middle was Chris. He was wearing a pair of light washed jeans, a plain black t-shirt that showed off his arm muscles, and a pair of Disney ears. A bright smile spread across your lips as you walked towards him barefoot; your eyes landing to his hands and what he was holding; a pair of Minnie Ears.

“Chris! What is all this?” you asked, smile still on your face.

“Like my letter explained Erica. You’ve seemed really bothered over your last appointment and I wanted to lift your spirts up.” Your brows raised as he held out the Minnie Ears to you. “We’re going to Disney sweetheart.”

You squealed in delight as you took the ears from him, placing it atop your head before jumping into his arms. “Really?? We’re going to Disneyland??” Chris had fast reflexes as he caught you, swinging you around.

“Disneyworld actually,” Chris responded with a hearty chuckle. He set you down on the ground, his arms still holding your waist as he looked at longingly, a certain twinkle in his eyes.

“Wait, hold up. Did you say Disneyworld?”

“That’s what I said sweetheart.”

“But that-that’s in Florida.” A bright smile appeared on his face, his pearly white, perfect teeth showing while he nodded his head. “We’re going to Florida???” Chris pulled you in for a big hug and you gripped the back of his shirt.

“Is that alright with you? I booked everything already but if you aren’t ready for that, I can cancel it.”

Your heart felt joy, so much joy at the thought of Chris going out of his way to do something this big, this special just to make you feel better. It was the first time in days that your heart swelled in a happy way. “No Chris. I want to go to Disneyworld with you. I can’t wait.” You leaned up on your tip-toes and placed a long kiss to his cheek.


	13. Chapter 13

It still amazed you just how much Chris went through the last 24 hours, how much work he put into this trip, just to see you smile and make you happy. His surprise really put into perspective just how much he cared for you. 

The two of you kept sneaking soft glances towards one another as you packed later that day. Chris initially said he planned to surprise you, and then leave right away, but he backed out on that idea as he wished to give you time to process the surprise, and be able to pack for yourself. 

It had been a long time since you were in Florida, in fact, you were just a little girl the last time you went. You and your mother had made the trip during spring break when you were in elementary school; she took you to Disneyworld. 

With your suitcase spread open on the bed, you made your way back and forth from the closet and bathroom, packing it full with everything you could possibly need; your mind drifting off to memories of when you and your mother went to Disneyworld. The Minnie ears, the buttons, all the Disney Princesses as you waited in line for hours to meet them; your mother always smiled because she knew how happy you were. 

You had not even realized you began to cry as Chris called out your name. “Erica what’s wrong?” his calm yet worried tone made your head snap up and you felt the wetness coat your cheeks. 

Giving a surprise chuckle, you wiped them away. “It’s nothing. Really. I-I was just thinking about when my mother brought me to Disneyworld when I was little.”

A pair of arms wrapped around you from behind and a sense of calmness washed over you. “Shit sweetheart I’m sorry. Was this a bad idea? I wanted to make you happy, not make you sad.” You would have thought Chris’ pet names for you would have made you cringe, make things awkward, but in reality, you loved them and you couldn’t get enough of it. Each time he called you ‘sweetheart’, ‘baby’, ‘honey’ and ‘babe’, it just felt like your bond towards him strengthened just a bit more. 

Your hands gripped his forearms which were wrapped around you and you quickly shook your head before placing it back onto his shoulders. “Chris don’t ever think that. You have made me so unbelievably happy with this surprise right now.” You turned in his arms to face him, your hands moving up to cup his cheeks. “I know things are going to get rough okay? I’ve come to expect it and there is no escaping the inevitable. I’m going to get my memories back, all of them. I just know it. And I know things will get rocky before they get better,” you sighed, casting your eyes down before looking back up at him. “But I have you. And I can’t thank you enough for sticking by me.”

Chris’ lips tugged into a lop sided grin at your words as his blue eyes gazed deeply into yours; almost as if he was looking straight into your soul. “Of course I’m sticking by you Erica. I lov….you mean the world to me and I don’t want to lose you. I want to help you through this. Be your rock. Your shoulder to cry on.”

A loud laughter escaped your mouth at the last part. “Well, I’ve definitely cried more than enough on your shoulders.”

“And I don’t mind one bit,” Chris said leaning his head down to give you a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Alright alright. Let’s get back to packing you slacker.”

~~~

You were sat in the spacious seat of First Class, right next to Chris and the plane had just taken off. You had never been in First Class before on a plane, at least that you had remembered. It was nice having extra leg room and you were happy that Chris was right next to you, comforting your anxiety.

Reaching up you turned on the little fan and positioned it to face you. Planes were always stuffy and you didn’t want to feel claustrophobic for the entire trip. You let out a soft hum as the cool air hit your face; nestling back into the expanse seat. You also hoped the fan would help with the too strong smell of perfume of the lady sitting behind you. It smelt as if she bathed in the entire bottle of perfume before coming on the plane. 

“How are you doing?” Chris asked as he squeezed your hand gently. 

Turning to him, you gave him a weak smile. “Hanging in there.”

“You won’t have to worry about me falling asleep on you babe. I’ll stay awake and help you through the flight if you need me to.”

You blushed at his pet name again, your stomach fluttering with butterflies as you squeezed his hand back. “I’m just really excited for Disney. Ya know, when I told Sebastian that you had asked me out on a first date, he said ‘you two would be perfect for one another, both Disney nerds.” When the words left your mouth, you gasped; Chris’ smile brighter than you had ever seen. “I remembered Chris! Another memory!” You couldn’t nearly contain your joy as you wiggled in your seat, doing a small victory dance as Chris laughed next to you. More memories seemed to be popping into your mind more often and it felt like a relief. You were worried you would be lost for months, but now, you had   
a newfound glory. 

“I’m proud of you Erica,” Chris assured from the next seat. While you were happy your memories were coming back quicker than you anticipated, you just wished you could remember more with Chris. Many of them were sporadic and random, not many with Chris and it worried you, but you wouldn’t give up hope. 

During the plane trip, you and Chris played some card games. Go Fish, Kings in the Corner and Cribbage. It definitely helped to make the time pass by quickly. You two tried to play Slap Jack, but found it becoming increasingly difficult as you both kept slapping each other’s hands instead of the actual cards. 

After playing some card games, it was time to watch a movie and you lifted the arm rest to cuddle closer to Chris. It never failed, no matter where you were with him, he always made you feel safe in his arms and you knew deep down it was where you belonged. 

Before you knew it, the plane had landed as Chris helped you gather your luggage from the overhead bin. Walking out of the airport, Chris was sporting a pair of sunglasses and his NASA hat. You had to tease him for his cover up, telling him people would spot him more easier since he always wore the same hat. 

The two of you got into the rental Chris had reserved and were headed on your way. “So where are we staying?” you asked curiously as you gazed out the window, excited to get on with what he had planned. He never told you how long you were staying in Florida; that you were to just pack enough for a week. 

“It’s a surprise,” Chris stated as he kept his eyes on the road, but you could see the smile tug on his lips. 

“Have we been to Disneyworld together?” you inquired. 

“Yep. Three times in fact. My family always goes to Disneyworld around Christmastime and you and I have gone with them the last two years. Last summer we went while I was in-between filming.”

Nodding your head you kept your gaze through the window, suddenly feeling guilty for not even asking about his family. You remembered meeting his mother, Lisa, while you were still dating Sebastian. You really liked her as she made you feel like family instantly, even though you weren’t with Chris at the time. 

Chris seemed to sense your hesitation, his hand coming to squeeze your knee. “They’re worried about you sweetheart. But they know I’m taking care of you. My mom just wants you better, but she wants you to take your time and not rush things.” His words felt soothing and you let out a sigh, nodding your head. 

He took a right hand turned and when you saw it, you gasped; your mouth parting. It was the Grand Floridian Hotel. A place you had always dreamed of staying. As he pulled up, you had to try your best to hide your squeals of joy. 

In person, it was even more beautiful than in pictures you had seen. And hot damn, was it definitely GRAND. Chris placed his hand on your knee again, squeezing, trying to get you out of your trance like state. “Ready babe?”

Turning to him, mouth agape, you only nodded which caused him to bark out in laughter. 

Chris checked in at the front desk and then you were off to your room. He placed the keycard into the slot and opened the door; holding it for you to enter first.   
With your luggage in tow you headed into the extravagant room. Your eyes peered around, taking in all the ornate details. 

“Chris,” you breathed his name breathlessly as you walked into the large living room. “It’s truly magical!” There was a large living room, along with what looked like two separate bedrooms, each having their own bathroom. Turning to face him, you couldn’t hold back your tears as you ran into his arms. “Thank you!! Thank you thank you thank you so   
much!!”

You felt his chest rumble as he soothingly stroked your back, holding you to him. “I’m glad you like it sweetheart. I know it’s somewhere you had always dreamed of staying at.”

“So you and I haven’t stayed here before?” you asked, pulling away from him. 

He shook his head. “No. But you’ve always talked about staying here and I thought this would be a pretty good time.”

Cupping his cheeks in your hand, you pulled him down, placing a kiss to his lips. The kiss was soft, intimate, as Chris gripped your back and pulled you closer. Leaning your head to the side you deepened the kiss as a soft moan emanated from your throat. 

Tingles shot through your body as Chris swiped his tongue across your lower lip, asking for access. This was the farthest that the two of you had gone but you didn’t want it to end just yet. You parted your lips for him, his tongue darting into your mouth. Chris growled as he held you tighter. It felt euphoric, kissing Chris, and you didn’t think anything could feel any better than this moment right now. His tongue danced with yours, swirling around as your arousal began to build. You wanted him, but you didn’t want to make   
that leap just yet, no matter how you felt physically. 

Pulling away, you placed your forehead against his. “Maybe we should stop,” you breathed deeply, regaining your breath. 

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry,” Chris apologized and you felt instant guilt. 

“Don’t be sorry Chris. That was all me too,” you suggested as you peered into his cerulean eyes. “We should just get to bed.”

Chris nodded, his grip still on your back. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

As much as it pained you, you pried yourself from him and began heading towards your bedroom. “Be ready at 8 a.m.,” Chris called out. 

You turned to face him, a smile tugging at your lips. “I’ll be ready,” you said with a nod of your head. 

As you shut the door to your room, you sunk to the floor, but not in sadness. You regained your breathing from your hot mini makeout session with Chris, a smile on your lips. It would be a lie if you told yourself you weren’t falling for him; falling hard for him.


	14. Chapter 14

Setting your alarm for 6 a.m, you were up, showered, and ready to go by 7. You put on a pair of jean shorts and a tank top that had the word ‘Disney’ written over the front. With your hair still damn, you combed it back into a high ponytail. Hell, you couldn’t help that you were so excited for today. Opening the door to your bedroom you saw Chris was already awake, sitting at the small table with an array of fruits.

“Morning,” Chris spoke, his voice a little groggy and you let out a giggle.

“Morning yourself. Tired still?”

Chris shrugged, placing a grape into his mouth, wiping his hand on a napkin. “A little but I was just too excited to sleep last night. How about you?”

“Oh I’m not tired anymore. I’m already set to go!” Looking at the array of fresh fruit, you scooped some watermelon, grapes, and kiwi onto your plate and began to eat. Chris poured you a cup of orange juice, setting it down in front of you and you smiled.

Chris smiled back, taking longing glances at you while you ate; his own plate of fruit in front of him. Before long, he placed a box in front of you. With raised eyebrows, you opened the box and nearly shrieked. Inside were two gray Disney Fast Pass Bracelets, one with Chris’ name, the other with your name on it.

You grabbed yours out of the box, placing it on your wrist at once before handing Chris’ over to him. “Where to first?”

Chris smiled, the crinkles near his eyes evident. “I thought we could start with someplace neither of us have been to yet.” You watched him with bated breath as he took a sip of coffee, wondering what he was going to surprise you with today. “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.”

“GET OUT!” you jumped from your chair, running over to hug him. “Are you serious? We are really going to Harry Potter World?”

Chris laughed, a whole hearted body shaking laugh as he wrapped his arms around you. “Yes I’m serious. I’ve been dying to go but it’s been so crowded and busy and we’ve never had the time to do it during their slower season. And now that there is no spring break going on, and it’s the middle of the week, I figured it was the best time.”

~~~

The two of you made your way through the entrance of Universal Studios and the smile never left your face. Chris laced his hand with yours and you turned to face him; your smile beaming. The smell of fried food assaulted your nostrils in the best way. You squeezed Chris’ hand as another smell invaded your senses. “Can we get cotton candy???” you questioned with raised brows, feeling like a little kid again.

His head tilted backwards as he barked out a laugh. “YES! How could we not?? It’s the best part of going to any kind of park.”

Walking through the theme park, your hand linked with Chris’, you scanned the crowd and listened to everything that was going on, hoping to remember something. There were children’s squeals as they rode the rides; families taking pictures left and right. Even though this was Universal Studios and not Disney, it was still magical.

First thing first, you had to get your wands. The two of you made your way to Olivanders and you were relieved to see the park wasn’t nearly as busy as you had guessed it to be. Sure, it was early in the morning, during the middle of the week, and most Spring Breaks had just ended, but you were still worried there would be a lot more people here.

You had decided to get a replica of Nymphadora Tonk’s wand and Chris got a replica of Harry Potter’s. As much as you wanted to stay and watch the live show of the wand choosing ceremony, you both knew it would be best to just keep to yourselves and not draw any attention.

After getting your wands, you had decided to go walk around and visit the shops. Since it wasn’t as warm as you had intended it to be, you were feeling rather chilly. Looking around the shops at the apparel, you got Chris to agree to buying matching house robes. Naturally, you selected Hufflepuff. You had gone on the Pottermore website more than you cared to admit, and you were sorted into the Hufflepuff house. Chris, of course already knew what house he belonged to as well: Gryffindor. You also bought a Hufflepuff headband and along with your robes and wands, you two truly felt like you were ready to take on the rest of the day.

The second stop was Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes; Fred and George’s joke shop. The second you walked into the door, it was a burst of vibrant colors. You laughed instantly as you saw Dolores Umbridge on her cycle yelling ‘I will have order!’ It was just like the movie! There was a staircase going upstairs, but it was filled with product, but you were still able to glance upwards and you saw the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder; the display was identical to how it was portrayed in the movie. You couldn’t believe your eyes as you continued to wander around the shop with Chris.

You and Chris spent nearly an hour inside the shop, laughing over everything on the shelf as you made your way through. By the time you were done, your ribs were beginning to scream from pain at laughing so much. Your hand gripped your left side, hoping it would ease some of the pain.

“Shit babe are you hurt?” Chris asked with worry as he saw you holding onto your left side.

You waved your hand around, trying to act as if the pain wasn’t that bad, taking deep breaths. “I’ll be fine. I just-I was laughing too much and my ribs are kinda sore. It hasn’t bothered me lately, probably because I haven’t laughed this hard in the last week.”

Chris looked around before spotting the Leaky Cauldron. “Come on, we can go grab something to eat and drink. We can get off our feet for a little bit and take a break.”

You nodded at him as the two of you made your way into the restaurant. Chris went to stand in the long line and order food and you made your way to find somewhere to sit. You sat at the end of one of the long tables and people watched until Chris came back. A smile graced your lips as you saw Chris standing in line; his robe looked adorable on him. He had truly been great to you over the last week and you were unsure of how you would have made it through things without him. He was kind and caring, never getting angry with you or pushing you to talk.

When you had woken up in the hospital you were terrified, but seeing Sebastian there made it better; yet when he told you the two of you had broken up, you thought you would be lost forever, swimming in a vast ocean of darkness with no one to help pull you out. But that was where Chris came in. With each passing day you had spent with him, you could understand how you had grown to love him.

“Earth to Erica,” Chris’ voice broke you from your thoughts. “You doin’ ok?”

You laughed lightly, not wanting to disturb the pain in your side anymore. “Mhhmm. Just thinking,” you murmured, taking a sip of the cold Butterbeer Chris placed in front of you.

“Yeah? And what were you thinking about?”

Your cheeks flushed and you bowed your head. “You,” you whispered, your eyes glancing up to his.

His lips tugged at the corner of his mouth hearing your words. “And what about me?”

By now your face must have looked like a tomato, being put on the spot in front of Chris, but you didn’t want to lie to him. “How amazing you’ve been to me. How protective and careful you are around me. You haven’t lost your temper around me, and you’ve cared for me throughout the last week. I honestly wasn’t expecting it. But it made me comprehend just why I not only agreed to go on a first date with you, but why we are together overall. You are such a wonderful person Chris. And I thank you for that.”

~~~

You were utterly spent by the time you and Chris got back to the hotel. It was a miracle you even made in into the shower without falling over. The hot water did wonders, washing away your sweat soaked skin. Florida was humid, a humid hot you had not experienced in a long time. It was cooler in the morning, but once you got your robes and the morning turned into afternoon, with walking around, you had gotten so sweaty. Luckily you were wearing really comfortable shoes!

Once out of the shower you dressed in a pair of shorts and a large oversized t-shirt. As your head hit the pillow, your eyes closed and you were out like a light.

_Chris’ fingers were pumping into your dripping wet pussy, his thumb circling your clit. Your head was thrown back in pure ecstasy as you rode out your orgasm._

_Your breathing was ragged and you opened your eyes, only to see Chris licking his fingers clean of your juices. A shiver ran through your body as you pushed yourself off the bed, tackling Chris as you claimed his mouth with yours._

_He was already naked as you straddled him, your arousal coating his thick cock as you gyrated your hips around him. “I need you,” you whimpered, pulling away from him and looked into his lust filled dark eyes._

_“What are you waiting for,” Chris teased as he placed his hands on your hips. Stroking his cock a few times you lined him at your entrance before sinking down slowly; your moans of pleasure mixing together and echoing throughout the room. You rode him with such desire and lust as his hands kneaded your full breasts. You were full with him inside you, just the way you wanted and you soon felt your walls being to tighten._

You awoke with a jolt, your heart racing and your clit throbbing from the sexual dream. Turning on the lamp you brushed back your hair from your face. It was the most realistic dream you had ever experienced before, but something deep inside you told you it wasn’t a dream. “It was real,” you whispered to yourself in the room.

“It was a memory.”


	15. Chapter 15

The following morning you and Chris both slept in, deciding the previous night to do so. You wouldn’t end up going to any Disneyworld park today as Chris had a different idea. As you rolled over on the bed, you lay there looking at the ceiling. Your dream, no memory, had really gotten to you last night and it was hard for you to fall back asleep. Being with Chris like that, even if it was just a memory, really put into perspective how everything was between you two. In the memory, he was gentle with you, caring, yet giving you the best pleasure you had ever received.

Getting out of bed and into the shower, you had decided not to mention this particular memory to Chris; thinking it would be too embarrassing at this point for you. After you dressed you walked into the main area of the hotel to see Chris sitting at the small table.

“Good morning,” he expressed with a smile as you sat down.

You smiled back, nodding at him. “Morning yourself.” You looked at the array of fruits at the table before grabbing a wedge of watermelon. Biting into the watermelon, you closed your eyes and moaned as the fresh juice washed down your throat. Upon opening your eyes, you saw Chris staring back at you with one eyebrow raised. “What?” you asked sheepishly as the blush crept from your neck and up to your cheeks, heating your face.

He shrugged, rose his eyebrows and shook his head. “Nothing,” he replied with a slight chuckle.

The two of you ate the rest of your breakfast in silence; Chris looking at his phone as you were sure he was reading emails from his manager. Many times, silence between two people could be rather deafening and awkward, and you were grateful it wasn’t that way with Chris.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” you asked in curiosity.

Chris placed his cup down, never taking his eyes off yours. “Well,” he began to say, “I was thinking we could go to the beach.”

Your eyebrows rose at his words; the beach sounded wonderful right now. “I’m liking where this is going!”

Once finished with breakfast, you headed back to your room and changed into your bathing suit. You had still felt a bit insecure wearing a bikini around Chris and showing that much skin, so you packed a few one-piece bathing suits. Scrounging around your luggage, you decided on a retro style, 1950’s black suit with white polka dots. It reminded you of a Marilyn Monroe era time and you absolutely adored it.

With your bathing suit on, you grabbed your white cotton swimsuit cover up and placed it over your body before slipping on a pair of floral flip flops. Making your way back into the living room, you saw Chris there waiting for you; a bottle of sunscreen in his hands. You couldn’t help but laugh. He knew that even though you had a slight tan on your body, you still preferred to be protected from the sun; he was always looking out for you.

“Which beach are we going to?” you asked Chris as he drove the rental car down the road.

“Siesta Keys. And I hope you don’t mind. It’s almost a two hour drive,” Chris answered, turning to face you.

“No. Not at all. We’ve got all the time in the world anyways, right?”

Chris turned his head to face you, giving you a wink and a smile. God you loved his smile. His dazzling perfect teeth, mixed with his beard sent tingles down your spine and warmth to your core; the memory in your dream last night not helping the situation as you clenched your thighs closed.

You asked him how his family was doing and you listened with enthusiasm, loving how excited he got while talking about his nieces and nephews, Miles in particular. He was so adamant in the way he talked, using his hands and his smile growing wide. It was easy to tell he loved his family so much, and that was something very important to you too, because you didn’t have any family left. And even when your mother was alive, you had no one. Your father bailing out on your mom right after you were born, your grandparents died when you were young, and your mother was an only child, so no aunts, uncles or cousins.

Your mind suddenly began to drift to your mother and to all the fun times the two of you had together. It was so hard not knowing full details about your mother’s death. Sure, Chris had told you the basics, but you felt, no you knew, deep down, there was so much more that happened.

“I’m sorry Chris,” you spoke after he was done telling you a story about Miles. You felt him look in your direction as you kept your glance on the window, looking at the palm trees passing by.

“Erica,” Chris said your name with such heart. “What are you sorry for?”

Wiping the single tear that cascaded down your cheek, you turned to him, giving him a hopeful smile. “For everything. My memories. My mood swings. Not remembering everything I want to. From what it sounds like, we had a great life together. And one small thing just erases all of that. You don’t deserve that Chris.”

Chris pulled over at the next exit and pulled into a gas station, parking the car. He turned his body towards you, placing a hand on your knee. “Erica, baby. Look at me,” he pleaded and you turned to him, keeping your glance downwards. He placed a finger under your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “I’m not. I’m not sorry you forgot your memories alright? Yes, your accident was something I would never wish on my greatest enemy. But us and our relationship, we are finding our way to each other once again.”

“Yeah but you remember everything and I don’t. And I feel like this is so much work for you while I try to piece everything together.”

“Hey, we are a team. You and I. It’s as if we are starting our relationship over again, falling in love again.” Your heart skipped a beat as he spoke. “Unless-unless you don’t feel that way at all.”

“No! No Chris, don’t say that. I feel….something. There is something there, buried deep inside of me that I’m trying so hard to get to. But it’s taking too much time and I don’t want you to feel obligated to put your life on hold for me.”

A saddened look spread across his face as he cupped your face. “Erica, I am not putting my life on hold for you. You ARE my life.” In that moment, it was as if a dam broke as you cupped his neck and pulled his lips to yours. You put everything into the kiss as you held him close to you. You opened your mouth, letting his tongue explore as you let out a soft moan. Your nails dug into his scalp and you clenched your legs together, your arousal getting the best of you.

Chris pulled away, looking longingly into your eyes and you knew at that moment, that what you felt with him, was real. He gave you a soft smirk before putting the car into gear and pulling out of the gas station.

About a half-hour later, you reached the beach and you could barely contain your excitement. Chris grabbed the towels from the backseat and the two of you headed towards the sandy beach. Seagulls were circling the air high above the beach and the water. Waves were softly whispering as they faded into calmness at the shore. The air smelt salty of the water as beach goers frolicked in the sand; people swimming in the ocean.

“It’s beautiful here Chris,” you exclaimed as he began to lay the towels down. Your mind began to grow foggy….

_“Chris!!!” you squealed in joy as Chris picked you up and swung you around on the white sandy beach; his arms wrapped securely around your waist. He placed you back on the ground as your feet molded to the warm sand squishing below._

_You could see the love in his eyes as he leaned down and captured his lips with yours; your arms wrapping around his broad shoulders. He pulled away all too soon as his thumb ghosted over your bottom lip. “There’s something I have to tell you.”_

_Your first instinct was to panic as nothing usually came after words like that were spoken. Nodding your head, you encouraged him to continue. “The last six months, have been so incredibly amazing Erica. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I feel like I have become a better person just being around you. Hearing you laugh and seeing you smile brings such joy and happiness to my heart. With you, I feel whole again. I love you.”_

_There it was. Those three words you had been dying to hear from him, because you felt the same way with him. “Chris,” you started to say as your eyes began to water. “I love you too.”_

“We’ve been here before, together,” you blurted out after the memory popped into your head. It was as if you had just relived it, the most surreal and livid memory you had ever experienced before. Turning to face Chris, he was midway through taking his white t-shirt off, pausing before pulling the rest of it off his body; a smile gracing his lips.

“Yeah, we have,” he remarked, letting his shirt fall from his hands and onto the sandy beach. “Six months after we started dating, I took you here.”

“You told me you loved me for the first time.”

Chris’ smile grew wider as he grasped that you must have had a memory pop into your mind. He nodded as he walked closer to you. “And it’s true Erica. The memory is true. A car crash can’t stop the way I feel about you.”

You pulled him into your arms as you encircled his waist, holding him close to you. His heart was beating fast as you felt it across your chest; your head nuzzled into his neck. He didn’t say those three words right now, and you were grateful for that. You knew he loved you as you felt the love radiate from his body. But you wanted your next ‘I love you’ to be important also; your second first time of saying it.

You took off your white cotton cover up as Chris watched you with enthusiasm. Once he saw what you were wearing, he let out a breath. “You look beautiful.”

You smiled at him, feeling more confident than ever as he reached his hand out for yours. Gladly accepting his hand, the two of you rushed through the beach and into the ocean as you never wanted to forget this day.


	16. Chapter 16

The next three days had been nothing short of pure bliss as Chris showed you around Disneyworld. Park after park, your smile never faltered as Chris had been so delighted in showing you around. He was like a kid in a candy store and you were loving every minute of it. 

Chris was such a natural at showing you around and you joked that Disneyworld was pretty much his second home; he didn’t argue with that. Your heart swelled with each smile he gave you. That day on the beach really put into perspective just how much he loved you. You could tell that he wanted to say it to you, but he was holding back, until you were ready; and it made you sad. Chris was such a big hearted guy, so fun loving and you didn’t want to deter his feelings; you wanted him to let them out, even if you weren’t ready to say it back just yet. 

“So, your birthday is coming up soon,” Chris spoke from next to you on the plane. You were heading back to California after four wonderful days in Florida, and you weren’t ready. Turning to face him, you smiled. “What did you want to do?”

Shrugging, you pulled your leg up onto the seat. “I don’t know. Doesn’t matter really.” There was sadness in your voice as your mind drifted to your mother. Usually, the two of you would spend your birthday together. She didn’t live too far away, just 80 miles away in Philadelphia, where you grew up. She would come to visit you in New York City and the two of you would go out to your favorite restaurant, and then she would spoil you with a day of shopping. The night would end with you, your mother, and Sebastian eating ice cream while watching a movie at the apartment. You weren’t even aware that you had begun to sniffle as tears swelled in your eyes.   
“Hey,” Chris wrapped you in his arms, pulling you close. “Why are you crying?”

Shaking your head, you wiped your tears from your eyes. “It’s-it’s just that….my mom and I always spend my birthday together. Just her and I. I mean, that’s what I’m used to anyways.” Chris’ arms tightened around you and you heard him sigh in frustration. 

“Shit Erica, I’m sorry for bringing it up. I didn’t even think about that.” 

“It’s not your fault Chris. This was back when I was dating Sebastian, so you didn’t know about stuff like that. I just know there is something you aren’t telling me about her death. I get that you want to protect me, and so does Sebastian, but I have to know Chris. I want to know everything that happened with her. Every last detail.”

Chris’ eyes softened as he took in your face. Your eyes were red and puffy, your cheeks wet from your tears. He let out a deep breath as his eyes never faltered from yours. “I will. I will tell you. I promise sweetheart. If you don’t get your memories back by your birthday of what happened to her, I will tell you everything.” You nodded your head to him as more tears began to fall form your eyes. Chris wrapped his arm around you and pulled you safely into his side to comfort you. 

~~~

After picking up Dodger from one of Chris’ friends, the two of you made it back to the house right as the sun began to set. Lugging your luggage to the room, you began to unpack your suitcase as your phone rang. Looking at the screen, a smile broke out across your face as you answered. 

“Sebby!” you squealed as you opened the glass doors of the bedroom and headed out onto the deck. 

“Hey sweetheart. How are you doing?” Sebastian asked and you could pretty much hear the smile behind his voice. 

“I’m alright. Just got back from Florida with Chris. He surprised me with a trip to Disneyworld.”

“Well that was really nice of him.”

“Yeah,” you sighed softly. 

“Alright, what’s wrong?”

“Ugh, how is it that you know everything?”

“We dated for how many years?”

“Yeah yeah yeah. It’s just, with my birthday coming up and all, I’m just used to be with my mom. You know how it was. Her and I would go out to eat and shop all day long, followed by some ice cream back at home with you,” you ranted, letting out a sigh of defeat. 

“I remember sweetheart,” Sebastian spoke quietly and you could hear the hurt in his voice. “That’s actually why I called you. I was wondering what you wanted for your birthday this year.”

You couldn’t help but scoff out a laugh at his choice of words. Asking what you wanted for your birthday? Seb never asked you what you wanted before, he always knew just what you were dreaming of, or craved, or wished for. He knew you like the back of his own hand. 

An idea popped into your head, and you knew you had to tread lightly as it could backfire, but you were willing to take the risk. You quickly began to pace back and forth along the long porch outside, admiring the view of the hills and cliffs while the sun turned beautiful shades of pinks and purples from the dusk. 

“You could tell me what happened to us…..why we broke up,” you rushed out the second part 

Sebastian sighed on the other end, and you knew right then, he wouldn’t budge. “Erica….” He trailed your name, not saying anything after that. There was a silence pause before he spoke again. “I really want to tell you what happened between us, trust me. But right now, in your state, I don’t think it’s the best thing. I think you need to gain some of your memories back, see if you can remember on your own first.”

Your hand gripped your phone tighter as a rush of anger burst through you. “You know, I’m getting real sick and tired of people telling me they can’t tell me things. What, did you sign a non-disclosure agreement? Are you going to suddenly burst into combustion? I mean seriously Seb, you CAN tell me what happened, you just WON’T.” By now your pacing had moved onto the grass as your bare feet sunk into the plushness of the greenery. 

“Erica. It’s not like that alright. What happened, it…it wasn’t good alright? You went through many months of recovering and everyone is just worried that you might spiral back into that way again once you find out. That’s why the doctors want to wait until you regain some more memories…to see if you can remember it on your own first.”

“That is SUCH bullshit Seb and you know it! Everyone thinks I’m going to have some psychotic breakdown? Well you know what? Whether I remember it myself, or someone tells me, then I’ll still have this so called fucking breakdown. I’m sick of everyone treating me like I can’t handle things. Yes, I lost my memory, but I’m a human being and I think I deserve to know what happened in my life the last couple of years.”

“I’m sorry Erica, I really am. I know I’m not being that big of a help and it’s really killing me to do so. But I have to think about what is in your best interest. I love you and you mean the world to me. I don’t want to see you go through that shit again,” Seb spoke honestly but you were so riled up that the words just jumbled in your brain. 

“Sure Seb. Tell yourself whatever you want to make yourself feel better. Have a good night,” you spat as you hung up the phone. 

You sat down on the porch, your phone falling from your hands as you raked them through your hair. The last few days with Chris had been amazing, but now you were in a sour mood, desperate to just forget things for a minute. 

“You alright?” Chris asked as he stepped onto the porch behind you. He had changed into a pair of black sweat pants and a plain white t-shirt; his arm muscles bulging from the seams as he sat down next to you. He looked worried, but he didn’t want to push you. 

“Just, everything right now seems so fucked up. I feel like giving up and throwing in the towel,” you confessed as you hugged your knees close to your chest. 

“Don’t give up just yet,” Chris empathized, placing a hand on your back. “I know things are tough right now, but we’ll get through it. I promise you Erica.” There was something about the way Chris spoke to you, his soft voice, his promising tone and his pleading eyes; pleading for you not to give up, that made you want to rip his clothes off and take him for yourself. 

Leaning forward, you captured his lips with yours. It was a quick kiss, but it felt right, normal. A smile grew on his face as he looked from your eyes to your lips, this time him moving in and kissing you. You melted into the feeling, a certain spark igniting between the two of you as he cupped your cheeks with his hands. 

Chris pulled away far too quickly for you as you wanted more. Opening your eyes, you saw him trying to hide a smile as he looked at you. Taking your lower lip between your teeth you turned to watch the sun dip behind the bluffs. Between the beautiful sunset, and Chris kissing you, your mood increased tenfold. 

“I was thinking….,” you trailed off as you turned to face him, “let’s have a drink.”

“I think that is a great idea,” Chris concurred as he helped you from the porch and the two of you headed straight for the kitchen. “Alright, we’ve gone wine, beer, tequila, vodka and whiskey. Pick your poison.”

A devious smiled appeared on your lips as you looked at the array of liquor on the counter. “How about some tequila?”


	17. Chapter 17

The tequila, salt and lime wedges were splayed out on the marble counter top of the kitchen as you looked on eagerly. You had never been that big of a drinker, always sticking to beer, or now, wine. Hard liquor was never something you cared for, but you wanted to let loose and have a fun night with Chris. 

“Okay, you have to tell me how to do this!” you chirped in delight, your eyes wide. 

Chris laughed as his hand rubbed your back. “Alright. Do you want me to go first so you can watch me?” You nodded enthusiastically with a bright smile on your face. Chris matched your smile as he poured himself a shot. Placing it down on the counter, he grabbed the salt and licked the corner of his hand; pouring the salt over the wet area. His eyes locked on yours as his tongue darted out and licked the salt off his hand. You gulped, your throat dry as you felt a tingle shoot through your core; wondering what his tongue would feel like on your body. Chris placed the shot glass to his lips, tilting his head back and downing the shot quickly before placing the lime wedge in his mouth, sucking the juices. 

His eyes never left yours the entire time and it made you crave Chris sexually. “My turn,” you said breathlessly as you poured yourself a shot. Taking the salt in your hand, you had an idea pop into your mind. Wiggling your brows, you crooked your finger in a ‘come hither’ motion at Chris and he knew just what you wanted. He tilted his head to the side and your tongue darted out, licking his neck. He let out a sinful groan; the sound going straight to your now aching core. Shaking the salt over his neck, you couldn’t help but giggle as it made a mess, but you didn’t care at this point. 

You locked eyes with him and bit your lip seductively. Leaning up on your tip toes, you licked the salt off his neck before quickly grabbing the shot and downing it. The liquid burned your throat but Chris was quick to your rescue, holding the lime wedge in his hand. You didn’t even take it from him as you quickly placed your lips around the wedge, sucking the juices and parts of his fingers. 

“Fuck that was sexy,” Chris rasped as you moved your mouth from his hand. You looked up at him through your long lashes and you grinned. 

“Again?” you asked as you began to pour another shot and Chris laughed. 

You each had done three shots and you were now situated on the couch, facing one another and laughing together. It felt wonderful to let loose and to relax; the alcohol flowing freely through your body. You weren’t drunk, even though you should have been by now, but you had a great buzz going on and you were loving every minute of tonight. 

With the past week being just you and Chris, you had grown so fond of him and you could understand why you started a relationship with him. He was hilarious as he kept telling you stories of him and Scott growing up and you nearly peed yourself when he told the story of how he got Scott to piss his pants in front of their hot babysitter when they were younger. You had barely made it to bathroom in time as Chris’ laughter was heard echoing throughout the entire house. 

You came back from the bathroom to a still laughing Chris and you playfully hit him in the stomach as you sat back down next to him. After using the bathroom, you decided to change from your jeans to a pair of sweat shorts. You lay your legs over Chris and he began to lazily trace his fingers up and down your shins, making you shiver. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you expressed your gratitude with a smile. 

His fingers never faltered as he looked into your eyes, his lips curling up. “Anything for you babe.” At his term of endearment, you finally caved. Moving to straddle his legs you leaned down and claimed his lips with yours in a heated and very passionate kiss. Taking his plump lower lip between your teeth, you nibbled gently as Chris’ hands came to rest at your hips, squeezing softly; a guttural moan leaving his throat. 

Your hands went to his hair, loving the way it felt between your fingers. It didn’t take long before you felt Chris grow hard beneath you and you ground your hips down on him. You pulled away from his lips before they found a new place to kiss; his neck. Chris’ fingers trailed up and down your bare thighs causing you to shiver. With your tongue lapping   
at his neck and the groans coming from his lips, things began to get heated; your arousal pooling in your panties. 

“Touch me,” your voice was pleading as your hips ground down on him again, wanting to get that friction that you needed. 

Chris’ hands were placed at your shoulders, pushing you back lightly as he looked into your eyes. His own eyes were dark with lust as both of you were breathing heavily. “Erica,” your name was merely a whisper upon his lips. “I…I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

A small smiled placed upon your lips before you leaned down to give him a chaste kiss. “Trust me Chris. I want this.” 

His eyes grew dark and he glanced down at your heaving chest. “You’re drunk Erica. I don’t want this to be a regret for you.”

Cupping his cheeks in your hands, you made him gaze into your eyes. “Chris. I’m not drunk. I’m riding this high buzz right now and you are making me extremely horny. I. Want. This,” you enunciated each word and were even shocked with yourself for being so outgoing and open with him; the alcohol giving you courage. Your hips ground down on him again. Feeling more wild and courageous as ever, you placed your mouth at his ear. “I’m so wet Chris. I need you. Please,” you whimpered as you felt his cock twitch below you. 

His grip tightened around your hips and he flipped the two of you over as your back sunk into the comfortable cushions of the couch. “Are you sure?” he asked between open mouth kisses on your neck. Chris was a gentleman, that much you knew. But you had also seen how wild he could get while drinking. You didn’t want to have sex with him, not tonight at least. Yet you just needed to find a release, and your hand wouldn’t have given you the exact release you needed. 

“Yes. I’m sure,” you panted as you craned your neck to give him more access. “Touch me Chris. I fucking need you to touch me.” 

He didn’t need to be told again as his lips crashed to yours in a searing kiss. It was all teeth and tongue and you were loving every second of it, becoming more turned on. Chris trailed his right hand up your thigh, pushing your shorts higher up your leg and you began to tremble in anticipation. You were sure, more than anything, that you and Chris have had sex numerous times, but this was your first time remembering. It was like your first sexual encounter with him all over again. 

Your skin broke out into goosebumps as his fingers grew closer to your core; your mouth still attached to his. His fingertips graced over your clothed core and you sucked in a breath. He began to tease you over your panties and you bucked your hips into his teasing hand; Chris stifling a laugh at your impatience.

Luckily for you, his teasing ended as he slid your soaked panties to the side and his fingers stroked your wet lips. “Fuck baby girl,” he groaned when he felt how wet you truly were. “You weren’t lying.”

Your back arched off the couch as Chris dipped a finger into your aching core. As your mouth parted with a gasp, you locked eyes with Chris. They were dark, filled with lust as he watched you. Chris was now off the couch, kneeling to the side so you could spread your legs wider, giving him full advantage of you. Your breathing grew ragged as you and Chris stared at one another; his finger expertly pumping you slowly. It felt erotic to have him watching your reaction to his ministrations, and you had to admit, you enjoyed it. 

Your hips jerked forward as he inserted a second finger; Chris’ lips now parted as he watched you greedily. He knew exactly what he was doing with his fingers as your body began to quiver. You felt your high begin to grow near as he pumped his fingers quickly inside of you. Your body was hot, on fire as sweat began to prickle on your forehead. 

“More,” you begged and Chris knew exactly what you needed. He placed his thumb at your clit and began to circle as he crooked his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion. It was all you needed as your eyes clenched shut, your body stiffening as your orgasm rippled through you while you cried out Chris’ name. 

Your heart was racing from your high and you whimpered when you felt Chris remove his fingers from your core. “Fucking beautiful,” Chris rasped and you slowly opened your eyes to look at him. “I love watching you cum. You’re always so beautiful and sexy when you do.” You couldn’t help but blush at his words, even though you knew your entire body was already heated from what had just transpired.

Chris got up from the floor and came to lay atop of you, leaning down and claiming your lips with his. They were plump and soft as you took his lower lip between your teeth to nibble on. It was then that you felt his cock, rock hard, against your thigh. He had just helped you with your release, and you now wanted to pay back the favor. With a devious smile on your lips, you gripped him by the shoulders and flipped him over so his back was to the cushion. 

His eyes grew wide as you took the bottom of his shirt in your hands and lifted it over his head. “What….what are you doing babe?” Chris asked as he lay before you, shirtless and in his jogging shorts. 

“It’s time to repay the favor,” you cooed as your lips came down on his chest, kissing him lightly. 

“Wait wait wait,” Chris said as your head came up to look at him. “Erica, I appreciate the gesture, but you don’t have to do that.” You were straddling his waist, and his cock was hard; you didn’t want him to be in pain or have to get off himself. 

“Chris,” you purred his name before giving him a quick kiss to his lips. “I want to do this for you. Please?” Your bottom lip jutted out in a pout and Chris couldn’t hold back his laugh. 

You knew right then, that he wasn’t going to stop you if this was really what you wanted. As you moved your head lower, you swiped your tongue over his right nipple as it hardened. Moving yourself off his lap and down to the floor, your right hand trailed lightly across his stomach and down to his happy trail. 

His cock was tented in his shorts as you teased him, running your fingers up and down, squeezing lightly. Chris’ breath hitched as you squeezed him and you didn’t want to torture him for too long so you slipped your hand in the waist band of his shorts. His dick was thick in your hand as your thumb circled his tip, swirling his pre-cum around. His hips jerked upwards and your eyes locked with his. 

“Feels good,” he said with a smile and you giggled. With your palm over his tip, you got some of his wetness on your hand before gliding it down to grasp his base. Squeezing lightly, you began to move your hand up and down his shaft, twisting your wrist for maximum effect. Each time you reached his head, you squeezed tighter and he seemed to love that. As his breathing picked up, so did your speed as you pumped him in your hand. It took so much constraint on your end not to reach down and lick him, but you didn’t want to move that fast, not just yet. 

Chris’ breathing started to become ragged and you knew he was close. Squeezing a bit harder, you pumped him faster in your hand as your eyes locked with his. You moved your free hand up to his mouth and trailed a finger across his lower lip. He took your finger into his mouth and bit down gently just as he came. His cum splattered onto his   
chest, his moans mixing with your own at the sight of him. He looked drop fucking dead sexy as he came from your hand alone. 

If this was what your sexual life was like with Chris, from these small acts alone, you couldn’t wait to see what he was like in the bedroom.


	18. Chapter 18

The following week had passed in a blur as you and Chris continued living life as normally as possible. After the night of drinking however, it seemed as though there was so much sexual tension between you two, and you knew just why. That night had been amazing, even though Chris was rather annoying the morning after. He kept asking you, reassuring if you were alright with what happened, making sure you didn’t regret it. You finally had to slam his lips to yours in a fiery kiss for him to shut up about it. No, the answer was no every time he asked. There was not one ounce of regret that night. 

You had also regained a couple of memories over the last week too, and you were happy about those. One in particular made you laugh with such delight. 

**Flashback**

It was supposed to rain later in the day so you and Chris decided to take Dodger to the dog park so he could let out his energy. 

The swing sets and slides were filled with kids playing while their parents simultaneously watched their children and dogs. Taking Dodger off the leash, he rushed forward with such speed you had never seen before. “Damn Dodger,” you chuckled lightly as his fluffy white tail wagged back and forth. 

Chris let out a loud laugh when he realized why Dodger was so excited. “His girlfriend is here.”

Your head snapped so fast to the right that you thought for sure you got whip lash. “I’m sorry, what? His girlfriend? When did this happen?”

“Last week while you were in NYC visiting Seb and Margarita.” Chris pointed to the black Labrador retriever that was running around with Dodger. “Her name is Daisy and Dodger is in love with her.” The smile that graced Chris’ lips melted your heart as you turned to watch Dodger frolicking with his friend. 

They were both chasing after a ball when Daisy went to grab it and missed it. Dodger flipped over her as both dogs wiggled on the ground. Dodger then did something that not only made your heart swell, but also made you cry out laughing; he began to kiss the dog on her nose! It was the absolute sweetest thing you had ever witnessed and you were filled with joy to see Dodger so happy.

**End Flashback**

Your feelings for Chris had started to deepen over the last week as well. Spending nearly every waking minute with him, he really took his time to answer any and all questions for you. Chris even encouraged you to get back onto your social media and scroll through some of it. You knew you didn’t have Twitter, as you never saw the app on your phone, but you did have an Instagram. 

As you pulled up the app on your phone, you nestled into Chris’ side on the couch as Dodger snored loudly from his doggie bed on the floor. The most recent picture was one of you and Dodger, just a few days before your accident. Dodger was licking you as your face was scrunched up from his assault. You couldn’t contain the laugh that left your lips at that picture. As you began to scroll down, you noticed there wasn’t any of you and Chris together. Frowning, you looked up at him. 

“Does the public know about us? About our relationship?”

Chris leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to your forehead; your eyes closing in content as you let out a soft hum. Upon opening your eyes, you saw Chris smiling down at you. “We kept our relationship out of the public for close to a year, but yes, the public does know about us. Why do you ask?”

Turning back to look at your Instagram, you shrugged your shoulders. “I just don’t see any pictures of us on here, so I thought maybe people didn’t know about us yet.”

Chris wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into a hug. “You chose not to put any photos of us on your Instagram. All of your social media platforms are private and even though I insisted that you could post pictures of us if you wanted to, you decided not to because you wanted to keep our private life private.” His words sunk in and you nodded in understanding. 

“That makes sense,” you answered quietly. 

~~~

During the past week you also had another check with up Dr. Hughes and Dr. Stevens. The bruising on the side of your face had completely healed over, while the bruising on your ribs had gone down exponentially. You were grateful for both as it was getting tiring with the dull pain in your side. 

With Dr. Stevens appointment, it went a lot better than the first time around. You didn’t have any kind of breakdown this time, however you also didn’t get any memories back during the session. Dr. Stevens made sure to remind you that while you may not get your memories back during the session, it can help to open your mind more easily to remember those memories during everyday tasks. 

~~~

After one particularly rough night of not sleeping too well, you ended up taking a nap shortly after you and Chris ate a light lunch. You couldn’t remember what was happening in your dream, but it caused you to toss and turn all night and you were utterly exhausted.

Groggily opening your eyes, you turned to look at the clock and you saw it was 4 in the afternoon. You didn’t want to sleep that late, but at least you felt much more refreshed. Yawning, you slipped out of bed and made your way to the living room where you found Chris and Dodger on the couch watching some sports channel. 

“Hey sleepyhead,” Chris declared with a grin when he saw you were awake. You smiled back at him before plopping down next to him on the couch. “Have a good nap?”

You yawned again, nodding your head. “I did. I feel refreshed now.”

“Good because I thought of an idea we could do once you woke up.” Your eyes perked up as you turned to face him. No matter what surprises or ideas Chris had in store, they were always great in your book and you enjoyed them. “Since you don’t remember a lot after the summer of 2015, I figured we could catch you up on some Marvel movies.”   
Your eyes widened in joy as he spoke and you couldn’t have been more thrilled. “That sounds amazing Chris!” you squealed in delight. 

“Good because I already have all the movies right here. I just need you to go ahead and pick out the ones you don’t remember seeing and I’ll go make some popcorn.” He gave you a quick kiss before getting off the couch and heading towards the kitchen. You looked at the vast array of DVD’s sitting on the table in front of you. One by one you began to shift through the movies, placing them into two different piles; ones you’ve seen, and ones you haven’t.

Chris came back into the living room, his arms full. He set down the bowl of popcorn along with a few beers and a bag of Starburst Jellybeans. “Alright, what do we got?”

“This pile are ones that I’ve seen before, and this pile is ones I haven’t seen,” you said while pointing to the respected piles. Chris nodded as he dug through the pile of movies you had yet to see. 

Picking one of the movies up, he furrowed his brows at you. “You don’t remember seeing this one?” It was ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’. “This movie came out before June of 2015,” he remarked with confusion. 

Nodding your head you took the DVD from him. “I know. But for some reason when I try to think about it, it is just all fuzzy in my mind.” 

“Do you remember working on this one?”

“Of course I do,” you replied with a chuckle, remembering all the fun times you had with the cast and crew, even though Sebastian wasn’t in this particular film. You grabbed the rest of the pile of movies you hadn’t seen yet, turning to Chris. “Have I worked on the design set of any of these movies?”

Chris smiled at you before looking through the pile. He ended up only pulling two. “These two you worked on the set design for.” It was ‘Captain America: Civil War’ and ‘Spiderman: Homecoming’. 

“Awww Tom Holland is Spiderman??? I remember watching ‘The Impossible’ and he was the oldest brother in that film. He did such an amazing job.” 

Chris laughed next to you, shaking the couch. “Yeah, he did a pretty damn good job as Spiderman too. You’ll love him in these movies.” He grabbed ‘Age of Ultron’ and placed it in the DVD player before making his way back to you. 

Taking the popcorn bowl, you settled next to him on the couch and got comfortable. “Ya know, with all these movies to watch, we will probably be doing this for a few days.” Grabbing the bag of Jellybeans from the table, you open the seal, pouring a few into your hand. 

“We’ve got all the time we need to watch them,” you replied with a wink and a smile, but it soon faltered when you saw the way Chris was looking at you. His eyes were narrowed and his lips were parted, his eyes darting from yours, then down to your hand. A lightbulb suddenly came on. The jellybeans. They were his favorite candy, and you just grabbed them from him. 

A burst of laughter left your throat at his look and you doubled over, clutching your stomach. Once your laughter died down you turned to face him again. “What’s so funny?” he asked with a quirked brow. 

Taking your lower lip between your teeth, you took one of the jelly beans in your hands and held it up to his lips. A bright smile spread across his face as he opened his mouth and took the jelly bean from your fingers. But that wasn’t all he did. He took your thumb and your pointer finger in his mouth and nibbled on them gently. Chills shot through your body at his ministrations, a gasp leaving your throat. 

The beginning of the movie had already begun to play, but you couldn’t help but keep your eyes trained on Chris. That was, until you heard Captain America on screen saying “Language!” It was at that moment both you and Chris burst out in a chorus of laughter; tears stinging your eyes. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, laugh it up. It seems to be everyone’s favorite punch line,” Chris said through his laughter. 

“I’m sorry. Really. I just don’t remember that part while we were filming!”

Settling back into the couch with Chris, you called Dodger up to the vacant spot next to you. It was relaxing and comfortable as you enjoyed your movie time with Chris and Dodger. Chris’ arm wrapped along the backside of the couch as his fingers brushed along the nape of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You immediately cursed yourself for wearing your long hair in a messy bun as Chris obviously knew what was your weak spot. 

About half-way through the movie, Chris got a phone call from Robert Downey Jr. He didn’t want to interrupt your time with him but you encouraged Chris to take the phone call.   
He came back to sit down next to you after only a few minutes. The two of you shared a sweet glance at one another before he spoke up. “How would you like to go to Robert’s house tomorrow night for a BBQ and bonfire? A lot of the cast will be there.”

You smiled, giving him a nod. “Sounds like fun.” You weren’t worried about seeing everyone because you had met them before. It was how they would react around you with your recent memory loss that made you on edge.


	19. Chapter 19

The following afternoon you decided to stay back as Chris took Dodger out for a walk to the dog park and to get his energy out. It was unclear how long the two of you would be gone that night at Robert’s party so Chris wanted to make sure Dodger got out enough energy. That damn dog was like the energizer bunny, but you loved him dearly. Ever since that first night you came home from the hospital, Dodger was there with you in bed, helping to calm you down and sleep. 

While Chris was out with Dodger you made your mind up and wanted to bake some chocolate chip cookies for the BBQ party tonight. Gathering all the of the ingredients you began to mix everything together from the memory of you and your mother making this exact recipe all the time growing up. It was crazy to think that you had nearly no memories from the past three years, but you could recall the exact details of how to make these chocolate chip cookies. 

Your phone was plugged into the wireless speaker and you opened your Spotify app. From missing the last three years, you had been trying to catch up on some of the more recent music out there. Camila Cabello’s ‘Havana’ came on and you couldn’t help but wiggled your hips as you sang to the song. It was one of your favorites and it was so addicting! 

As you swayed your hips back and forth, singing to the lyrics of the song you heard someone clearing their throat from behind you. You let out a scream, jumping and you turned around to see Chris sitting on the bar stool, watching you with a very wide grin. “Don’t scare me like that!” you all but yelled with a giggle as you threw a towel at his face. 

Chris chuckled as he caught the towel with his fast reflexes. “I couldn’t help it. You didn’t hear me come in and I didn’t want to disturb your little dance session going on.” His eyes gazed over to your ass and you felt your cheeks heat up. You had known many years ago that Chris was an ass man, so it wasn’t a surprise to you. In fact, it made you feel even better about yourself knowing that he liked to stare at your ass. The strong desire to be the little vixen that you are, you took the next cookie sheet in your hand and bent over, wiggling your ass right in front of him as you placed it in the stove. 

“Fahk me,” you heard him rasp out from behind you, his Boston accent not going unnoticed by you and you had to admit, it was the fucking sexiest thing you’ve ever heard.   
Turning around, you licked your lips as you walked towards the center kitchen island. 

“That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth,” you cooed as you leaned across the counter. Chris’ eyes darted down and you knew exactly to where; your cleavage was on full display from your low cut tank-top. 

“What was?” he asked with a surprised face, glancing up to meet your gaze. 

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Your Boston accent. I think it needs to come out more often.” Giving him a playful wink, you turned around. Using the spatula you got the fresh cookies off the pan and placed them on the cooling rack before placing the next batch on the cookie sheet. 

“So what exactly are you making cookies for? Not that I’m complaining.”

“I thought it would be nice to make for Robert’s party,” you stated casually with a shrug. 

The two of you made small chit chat as you continued to bake the rest of the cookies. Once the batch was all done, you dug through the drawer and found a container. Just as you stood back up, a memory popped into your head, causing you to drop the container in your hand. 

Flashback

“For the hundredth time, I am NOT cheating on you Erica!” Chris roared, throwing his hands up in the air as his frustration and anger glowed on his face. 

This is the same fight the two of you have been having all month and it was starting to take its toll on you. Each day, he spent less and less time with you and instead headed out   
with friends; and you had no idea where he was half the time. He was being secretive it felt like, distant and it worried you to no end.

End Flashback 

“Fuck, Erica baby are you alright?” Chris was shaking you as you came to from your memory; your heart racing in your chest as you looked into his worried eyes. 

“Chris?” you called his name with a shaky voice, your bottom lip beginning to quiver from the memory. It was the first time you had recalled the memory and it wasn’t something you wished to relive. Was Chris really cheating on you? Is that what you had thought? 

He wrapped you in his arms as your body began to tremble. “Did you have a memory?”

“Ye-yeah,” you stuttered out. Chris gripped you tighter and you reveled in the feeling of him, but you weren’t happy with the memory. It was the first memory you remember of him and you fighting, and it seemed like a pretty nasty fight. Tears began to sting your eyes as Chris pulled away; worry etching his face as he looked down at you. “Did you cheat on me?” The words came out so fast you had no time to filter yourself. 

Chris’ eyes widened as he stared at you and you instantly felt bad about your choice of word vomit; mentally slapping yourself. “Erica, seriously? No! Fuck. No I have NEVER cheated on you. Is that what your memory was about?”

“It was a fight. Between you and me. And I there was a tin of chocolate chip cookies on the table, just like this one,” you pointed to the tin now laying on the floor. Chris bent down to pick it up, placing it on the table before turning back to you. The sorrow in his eyes made you want to break down and cry, even though you believed him when he said he never cheated on you. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you cried into his chest as you gripped the back of his shirt. 

Chris rubbed his hand down your back, hushing your words. “What do you have to be sorry about sweetheart?”

“Because…because I thought you were cheating on me and it obviously was the cause of the fight that we had.”

“Shhhhh,” Chris soothed as you felt him wrap his arms around your backside tighter. “That was the fight we were having before you got in your car accident.”

You pulled away quickly from him, your eyes wide like saucers with your lips parted. “Seriously? So…so I caused that fight? I assumed you were cheating and that was how it happened?”

“Baby,” Chris spoke your namely softly, “it wasn’t your fault okay. What happened to you wasn’t your fault and our fight was NOT your fault. You had every right to be angry with me.” You continued to sob into Chris’ chest as he swayed you back and forth. Through your sobbed cries, you weren’t sure if you heard correctly or if you were hearing things all together, but it sounded like Chris said ‘I love you’. 

~~~

“It’s beautiful,” you remarked with wide eyes as Chris drove up the driveway of Robert’s house. Of course you were pretty positive you had been here before, but you had not remembered being here. The house was wasn’t one of those mega-mansions that you see celebrities living in. It was more simply, yet had a lot of character to it. The exterior was all white as it sat on a very large piece of land; it was very secluded. It almost had a cottage type feel to it. There were vines growing on the columns outside as horses galloped around the large yard. 

You continued to stare in awe as Chris got out of the car and opened your door for you. Blushing, you took his hand in yours as he helped you from the car. Unsure of what to wear to the BBQ as you weren’t aware of how late you would be staying, you decided to wear a pair of light washed skinny jeans with holes in the knees, a loose fitting white t-shirt that you tucked in the front of you jeans, a black pair of flats and your hair in a high pony tail. 

“Nervous?” Chris asked as he took your hand in his causing butterflies to swarm in your stomach. It never seized to amaze you how Chris could make you feel totally and utterly loved just from a single touch. 

“A little,” you answered with a shy smile. You followed Chris, his hand still in yours as you both made your way towards the back yard. It was even more magical than the front as you saw the beautiful views out in the distance. There were tables and chairs placed all around the yard as quite a few people were already mingling about. 

“There’s my girl!” you heard a familiar voice say from behind you and you turned around. 

“Robert!” you squealed as you went to jump in his waiting arms. He laughed as he hugged you close and it felt good to see your dear friend again. 

He pulled away, holding you at arms-length taking a good look at you. “How are you holding up champ?” he asked with raised brows. 

Shrugging, you answered, “I’m hanging in there.”

“This one treating you good?” he quipped, pointing to Chris. Glancing over at Chris, you could see the love in his eyes he felt for you and it made your heart skip a beat. “Because you know if he isn’t treating you right I’ll kick his ass.”

You giggled at his remark, shaking your head. “No Robert. He’s treating me very well actually.” A smile broke across Chris’ face as he heard your words. 

“Good. You make sure to come to me if he isn’t. There are drinks in the fridge, help yourself to anything. Dinner should be ready in about an hour.” He gave you a kiss on your cheek before sauntering over to the grill to start on the BBQ. 

Chris placed his hand on your lower back as the two of you moved inside. The inside of the house had a rustic barn type style to it. All the walls were white and there were white washed wood beams that arched over the ceilings. 

You saw Chris place the cookies down on the kitchen island along with all the other desserts before opening the fridge. “Do you want a beer babe?” he asked as his head stayed glued to the fridge. 

“Yes please,” you called out as you continued to look around. There were pictures up on the wall in the living room that you migrated to. Many of them were of Susan and their children, but there was one photo in particular that caught your eye. It was a photo of you, Chris, Robert and Susan and it looked to be at a premiere of some movie. 

You felt arms wrap around from behind you. “That was the ‘Civil War’ premiere,” Chris breathed into your ear, sending shivers down your spine in such a delightful way. In the picture you were wearing a navy blue dress with black lace over it. It was about knee length with a small belt that cinched at the waist and bellowed out from the waist down. 

“It makes sense since I was representing Captain America with my dress color.” Chris let out a small chuckle, placing a delicate kiss on your cheek and you wanted nothing more than to turn around and claim his lips with yours when a voice broke your moment. 

“Erica!” You heard your name being called as you whipped around, finding someone you had definitely not expected. 

“Sebastian?”


	20. Chapter 20

“Sebastian?” his name fell from your lips with a falter as you couldn’t believe he was actually here right now. He gave you no notice whatsoever that he would be coming, especially seeing as you just found out last night about the BBQ. 

You jumped into his arms, immediately feeling awful for the way the two of you left things when he went back to NYC. “Hi sweetie,” he whispered softly in your ear as his strong arms held you close to his muscled body. You were feeling indifferent in this moment. It was Chris who you were dating, and you were loving every minute you spent with him, but Sebastian is what you knew, what you were used to, who your memories were used to being with. 

“It’s so good to see you,” you spoke into his neck. The two of you continued your embrace for another minute before pulling away. It was then that you noticed a woman standing behind Seb. She had dirty blonde wavy hair as she stared at you with a smile. It was Seb’s girlfriend Margarita. 

“Hi babe,” she stated playfully, pulling you into a hug. You wanted to be jealous, to be mad that you were hugging your ex’s girlfriend, but you didn’t feel any of that. Instead, you felt warmth and friendship in her arms. Your shoulders slumped in relief as you let out a shaky laugh. “How are you holding up?” she asked, staring straight into your eyes. 

In that moment, a few flashes of memories appeared to you; the two of you shopping together, having lunch in NYC, always laughing and always smiling. Another memory appeared, this one longer. 

Flashback

You and Margarita wore your matching pajamas the two of you had bought just yesterday as you lay across the large bed. It was a bed that you and Sebastian used to sleep in every night, but now, it was Margarita and Sebastian’s bed, and it didn’t bother you one bit. Chris and Seb were in the living room, playing video games. 

The bed was filled with junk food as your stomach rolled with laughter at something Margarita had just said. Her hair was wild as her own head was tilted back, mouth agape from laughter. It was times like this that you cherished, being with your best friend. 

“Oh my god! I almost forgot!” she shrieked, getting up from the bed and scouring through the large closet. Things began to fly out from the closet as you giggled from the mess she was making. When she returned, she was holding two small decorated paper bags in hand. Peeking into them, she put one down in front of you; a grin on her face. 

“What’s this?” you asked confused. 

Margarita shrugged, “Open it!!”

You beamed at her as you tore into the paper on top before pulling out what looked like some article of clothing, rolled up. Unrolling it, you burst out laughing as tears sprung to your eyes. It was a red, white and blue apron, dotted with stars that said ‘Yes, I’m Dating Captain America’.”

“No fucking way! Where did you find this? It’s so perfect!!!!” you squealed in delight as you went to stand, placing the apron around your neck and tying it behind your back. 

“I had them made special on Etsy,” came her reply as she watched you with a smile. 

Your brows scrunched. “Them? What did you have them make more than one?” She giggled, shaking her head before grabbing her own bag and showing you what was in hers. 

She had a matching apron, except hers was black and silver with a large red circle in the middle; the words ‘Yes, I’m Dating The Winter Soldier’ in white decorated the front. 

End Flashback

Once that memory hit you, it was like a flood gate opened as flashes of memories and images came pouring into your mind; all involving you and Margarita. From the moment you met her, to the last time you spoke to her, just a week before your accident. 

Tears filled your eyes, but they were not from sadness. No, these were tears of happiness, tears of joy as wonderful, heartfelt memories swam through your mind of your best friend. “Honey are you okay?” you felt Chris grip your arm gently once he noticed your tears. 

“Margie?” you called out to your best friend, your own special nickname for her coming to your lips as if it was the easiest thing to say in the world. Her eyes grew wide as you saw them gloss over with her own tears. She pulled you in for a tight hug as the two of you cried together. 

“I…I remember everything. Everything about you! All my memories just came flashing back about you and…and I’m so happy to have my best friend back in my mind!” you stuttered out, choking on a laugh as you felt her body shake with laughter too. 

As you and Margarita continued to embrace each other, Sebastian pulled Chris off to the side to talk to him. 

“Have you talked to her yet about her birthday?” Sebastian asked, folding his arms across his chest. 

Chris shook his head, his hands fisting in his pockets. “Not yet. I was going to surprise her. Do you think she will be alright with the idea?”

Sebastian glanced over to you and Margarita. You two were no longer hugging, but your hands were interlaced together while the two of you chatted adamantly. Seb smiled at the two girls before turning to face Chris. “I don’t see how she wouldn’t like the idea. It’s what she does for her birthday. I honestly think she will love the idea.” 

It was Chris who now turned to face the two girls giggling together, only his eyes landed on you, taking in how happy you looked. “I can’t believe she remembered everything involving Margarita,” Chris spoke quietly with a smile. Although he was happy that you were gaining memories back, he was jealous that not many of your memories involved him. Sure, you had some memories pop up here and there while you two were together, but with Margarita, just one look at her and all your memories resurfaced. Chris was beginning to feel defeated. 

“Dinner is ready!” Robert yelled into the house to whoever was still inside. 

~~~

With plates overflowing with burgers, hot dogs, kabobs, salads and corn on the cob, the four of you sat down at a table together and toasted your beers; to finally being reunited.   
Your heart grew in size as you sat with the three people who meant most to you in life. 

For the past few weeks, even though you had Chris with you every step of the way, there was a sense of loneliness that hung around you, but not anymore. Now, you felt like you could conquer the world; and you would. You would go to great lengths to get the rest of your memories back, now that you knew you had your family back together. It still hurt to know your mother wasn’t here, but you would mourn her properly, once your memories returned fully. She deserved to have your full attention and to mourn and grieve her loss properly, and you intended to do just that when the time was right. 

Biting into the savory corn on the cob, you moaned at how sweet it tasted; fresh juices running down from your lip as Chris used a napkin to wipe it off. You chewed what was in your mouth before giving him a smile, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss to his lips. It was the first time you had kissed him in public, in front of people. 

“Aawwwww, look at those two lovebirds,” a familiar voice cooed from behind you and you whipped your head around to see. Your eyes grew wide as you saw him. 

“Jerry!?!?!?!” you squealed as you jumped from your seat and into the arms of Jeremy Renner.

“And here I was hoping that THAT was a memory you would lose forever,” he chuckled lowly as he held you tight. Ever since you met him on the set of ‘The Avengers’, you had given him the nickname of ‘Jerry’. It was all in good sport and he didn’t mind it at all. 

“Ha! You wish Jerry. My memory lapse doesn’t go THAT far back,” you joked, playfully hitting him in the stomach. 

“You know you love me,” he said giving you a kiss on your head as you rested your head on his chest. You did love him, same with the rest of the cast of the Marvel films. They had all become family to you over the years and it felt great as you didn’t have much of a family at all. 

With a wide smile, you nodded your head. “Of course I love you Jerry.” Jeremy sat down with the rest of the group as everyone finished their delicious meals. After dinner, all the plates were cleared and many people thanked Robert before leaving. Most of those that were left were only Marvel cast members as everyone sat around the fire as the sun dipped below the horizon. 

“I want to make a toast,” Robert began to say, standing up from his chair. “To Erica.” Your heart leapt in your chest as everyone began to look at you; Robert, Chris, Sebastian, Margarita, Jeremy, Scarlet, Chris Hemsworth, Mark, Elizabeth and Don. It was an overwhelming feeling at first, but as you gazed around the fire and saw everyone admiring you, you calmed. This was your family, this was where you belonged. “Whether you know her from dating Sebastian or dating Chris, Erica has been a part of this family for years. Even though she was dating Sebastian when I first met her, I knew her as the fun loving, easy going, spunky and all around good hearted set designer. Erica from the moment I met you, I knew you would wiggle yourself deep into my heart, and for that, I thank you. I don’t know where I would be in my life without you. I consider you my family, my sister, and I wouldn’t change anything about it. Happy early birthday beautiful.” Robert winked at you as your eyes glossed over with tears. 

“Happy early birthday Erica,” everyone cheered with their beer glasses raised in the air. 

The rest of the night was filled with easy conversation as you made your rounds to talk to everyone. They all treated you as family, even though some of the things they brought up, you couldn’t remember. They understood what happened to you, and helped you by replaying the each incident and you were surprised by how easy it was to fall back into place with them again. By the end of the night, you were exhausted and your stomach hurt from laughing. 

~~~

After taking a quick shower, wanting to get the sweat and smoke off you of you from the bonfire, you put on a fresh pair of panties, a pair of sleep shorts and one of Chris’ t-shirts. You hadn’t let him know that you took it, but as you were folding laundry one day a memory came to you. 

Flashback

Folding the blankets back off the bed, you took the extra pillows and placed them on the floor as Chris walked into the bedroom. He stopped mid-stride as he saw what you were wearing; a pair of panties and one of his plain blue t-shirts. His eyes roamed over your bare legs and back up to your face, a wicked grin placed on his lips. “I fucking love it   
when you wear my clothes,” his voice was dark as he stalked towards you. 

Gripping you fiercely in his embrace, he turned you around and you fell against the bed, a breathy gasp leaving your lips. Chris climbed on top of you as his lips ravished yours…..

End Flashback

The memory made you blush just thinking about it as you plugged in your phone to the charger. There was a soft knock on the door. “Come in,” you spoke softly, feeling your cheeks heat up again knowing that Chris was going to see you in his shirt. 

He opened the door with a smile, but it soon faltered as he saw you standing there, wearing his shirt. Your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest, and you hoped he wasn’t mad at you. His eyes grew wide as he took you in. 

“Is that my shirt?” he asked with the same tone from your memory. Taking your lower lip between your teeth, you looked down at the shirt before meeting his gaze, giving him a nod. “I fucking love it when you wear my clothes.”

“So I’ve heard,” you giggled out as you began to pull the covers down the bed. 

“I…I ah just came in to wish you a good night,” he said as his hands combed through his brown locks. 

A small smile graced your lips as you heart jumped. It was this moment, the way he was looking at you, although he seemed rather nervous, that made you truly see him. He loved you, and he loved you more than anything, this much you knew. When he looked at you, he wasn’t looked AT you, he was looking deep into your soul. He treated you with respect, and made you his priority in life, above all else. He made you feel desirable, wanted. 

Chris gave a quick nod as you didn’t say anything and turned to leave, but you stopped him. “Wait,” you spoke up and he paused his movements. “Stay with me?”

He smiled at you, the brightest smile you had yet to see from him as he pulled the covers from his side of the bed and slipped in graciously. The two of you turned to face each other. Chris’ face was enthralling, he was the definition of perfect in your eyes as you lay there and take in his beauty. His lips parted, as if he might say something but he quickly   
closed them. Instead, he leaned forward and gave you a soft kiss to your lips. “Good night Erica,” his voice was gruff and it sent arousal straight to your core. 

“Good night Chris,” you replied with your own breathy tone. 

The clatter of paws on the hard wood floor broke your staring contest with Chris as Dodger jumped right up on bed, and wiggled his way into the middle of you two. 

“You little cock-blocker,” Chris laughed as he tackled Dodger to his side, curling his body around him and you laughed at Chris’ words. 

As the, now three of you, got settled and comfortable in bed, you closed your eyes; Chris’ words to Dodger ringing through your head. You debated in your head if it would have really gotten to that point tonight, full intimacy between you two, if Dodger hadn’t come in the middle. Upon opening your eyes and seeing Chris sleeping away, so peacefully, so alluring and ideal, you came to one conclusion; yes, it would have.


	21. Chapter 21

The following morning you felt refreshed, with a new found confidence lingering deep within you. If it had not been for Dodger last night, there was a very good chance that you and Chris would have had sex, and you were damn ready for it. 

Last night before leaving Robert’s BBQ, Sebastian offered for the four of you to go out for breakfast before he and Margarita had to leave later this evening for their flight back to New York. It was an idea you definitely didn’t want to say no to, especially getting your memories back about Margarita. It would be good to spend the day with them and you were looking forward to it. 

Throwing your hair in a loose bun, you hopped in the shower to quickly wash down your body and shave; not wanting to deal with having to blow dry your hair this morning. You moaned as the sweet smell of your body wash as you scrubbed away delicately at your body. 

Grabbing a towel, you wrapped it around yourself before cleaning off the foggy mirror. You opened the door a crack to let the fog in the room diminish; the overhead fans never clearing it out fast enough for you. Your hand went to grab your green electric toothbrush right as Chris opened the door to the bathroom. He stilled, seeing you standing there in only a towel before turning around and averting his eyes; you thought it was adorable. 

“Shit Erica I’m sorry, I didn’t think…I mean I know you showered….it’s just that I thought you were dressed,” he stuttered out, his back to you. 

Trying to hold back your smile, you failed at how flustered he was. There was no reason for him to be flustered like that because you were damn sure he had seen you naked more than enough times to count; even if you couldn’t remember it. “Chris, turn around,” you declared, trying to keep your face neutral. 

Chris slowly turned, keeping his eyes to the floor and you burst out laughing. His brows furrowed as his eyes glanced upwards to meet your laughing, bent over frame. “What’s so funny?”

“You!!! You are being hilarious right now.” You walked towards him and cupped his face, bringing it down so you could plant a kiss to his lips. They were soft, so dreamy and soft as you took his lower full lip between your teeth and gave it a nibble. The kiss soon turned heated and you became aroused, very suddenly. His kisses were intoxicating and you realized he was your drug. 

Chris gripped your hips, walking you backwards as your backside hit the bathroom counter. Your hands were wrapped in his hair, never wanting to let him go. His hands trailed up and down your arms as you felt his growing erection against your core and on instinct, you bucked your hips into him earning a growl from Chris. You loved hearing that noise as you bucked your hips into him again. This time, Chris grabbed your waist and hoisted you onto the counter in one swift motion. 

Your lips parted from his and you were left staring into lust filled eyes; chest heaving. His lips were at your neck, alternating between soft kisses and sweet nibbles and your moan echoed throughout the room. Your head tilted back, hitting the mirror as a jolt of arousal came at your core when he sucked onto your sweet spot, just below your ear. 

“Fuck I want to taste all of you,” he rasped as he began to lick his way across your neck and to the other side. At this point, you wanted him to taste you to as his now fully hard cock kept hitting your cunt, your inner monologue begging for mercy. 

With your hands at the seams of your towel, you let it fall from your chest, leaving you open and bare to him. His eyes were nearly black now, no sight of his blue orbs as he took in your naked body. Your chest was heaving; your nipples pert and ready for him to suck on. He gave you an apprehensive look and you nodded at him, letting him know you wanted it. 

Without any more hesitation, his lips clasped around your right nipple and you cried out in pleasure as your hands tangled into his locks. His right hand trailed down your stomach, dipping a finger straight into your dripping pussy. “Fuuucckkkk,” you moaned as your back arched. He trailed wet kisses across your chest before giving your left nipple the same amount of attention; his tongue swirling around the hardened pebble before dropping on his knees in front of you. 

Spreading your legs wide for him, he delved right in as his fingers held open your slit. His mouth was attached to your clit so fast you had no time to react. Your hands gripped the side of the counter, holding on for dear life as Chris’ sweet assault on you took over. You were so worked up with arousal and desire that you knew it wouldn’t be long until your release came. His tongue swiped from your center all the way up to your nub before suckling it between his lips. He was a fucking magician with that tongue as your breath came out in short gasps. Your legs began to tremble as you cried out, “don’t stop don’t stop right there right there!” The coil snapped as you dissolved into pleasure; your inner walls clenching as you high took over your body. 

Chris’ hands were on your thighs, rubbing gently as you came down from your mind blowing orgasm; a sultry smirk on his face. You let out a few short breaths before finally getting the courage to get down from the counter. Trailing your hands down his body, they stopped on his erect cock before slinking your thumbs into the waistband of his shorts and shimmying them down his thighs. 

You didn’t give him any time to react before taking him into your mouth. Your tongue darted around, coating him with saliva as you easily began to bob your head. His pre-cum was salty and you moaned at the taste of him. “Fuck baby,” Chris’ voice was husky as he held his hand out onto the counter for support. Your right hand cupped his balls gently as your left hand was wrapped at his base. If the two of you were to get to breakfast on time, this needed to be fast. Knowing your gag reflexes were rather non-existent, you took your hands and placed them on his tight ass and began to move them towards you; letting him know that he could set his own pace. And that was just what he did. Placing his free hand on the back of your head, he began to jut his hips into your mouth; your nails racking up and down his thighs. Before long his cock started to twitch in your mouth. His hips stilled as his seed coated your throat and you swallowed around his thick length. 

Pulling away from him, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. Standing up on shaky legs, you saw Chris breathing heavily with his eyes closed. “That was fucking amazing. I was not intending for that to happen this morning but fuck am I glad it did.”

Giving him a quick kiss to his chest, you playfully pushed him backwards. “You’re lucky I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet.”

~~~

The fresh morning air and sun felt good on your face as the four of you sat on the patio of a quaint little bistro in downtown Los Angeles. After your and Chris’ rather delightful morning, the two of you quickly got ready and you put on a pair of light pink skinny jeans, black tank top and black flats. Your hair was pulled up into a tight pony to keep off your neck. 

Breakfast was delicious as you slumped back in your chair, feeling extremely full. The boys were chatting together as you and Margarita were both stuffed to the brim and laying back in your chairs. 

“What time is your flight?” Chris asked, taking a sip of his water. 

Sebastian looked at his watch before responding. “Not until 8p.m tonight.”

“Come on back to our place. We can play some video games. I got the new Call of Duty on Xbox and haven’t had any time to try it out.” You groaned in dissatisfaction as he spoke and he turned to face you. “What was that for?” he asked with a chuckle. 

“I don’t want to sit and watch you play video games all day,” you retorted, feeling annoyed yet you knew that he wanted to spend time with his friend. 

“Let’s go shopping then!” Margarita chimed in and you perked up at her request. 

“Fuck yes! Now THAT is what I’m talking about!” you cheered, raising your hand in the air. Looking over at Chris, you saw him smiling at you as Sebastian whispered closely to his ear; Chris nodded at his words. With furrowed brows, you continued to look at the two men before Chris finally spoke up. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll let her know,” Chris spoke with a smile. 

“What’s going on?” You looked between the three of them, all staring and smiling at you. 

Chris grabbed your smaller hands with his larger ones, engulfing them. He pulled them up to give a kiss to your knuckles. “I’ve been talking with Sebastian and Margarita about what to do for your birthday….and….well….we’ve all kind of up come with the same idea.” Chris didn’t continue and your heart began to race, wondering what they all had planned. “How about you and I go out to NYC next week for your birthday?”

Your eyes grew wide like dinner plates, your lips parting. “Are…are you serious??” Chris nodded, smiling brightly at you. Jumping out of your chair and onto his lap, you clasped your hands around his neck, nuzzling your face to him as happy tears were shed from your eyes. These were the three most important people in your life; they would do anything for you. And here they were, planning a trip for you to go to NYC for your birthday; what you had always done for your birthday. You were unsure if you could become any happier than in this moment right now. 

~~~

Sebastian and Chris took one care back to the house to play some video games, while you and Margarita took their rental car to get some shopping done. Now that you knew you were going to NYC for your birthday next week, you wanted to get some new clothes! 

Parking in the lot, you and Margarita began walking up and down the sidewalk, determining what shops you guys wanted to go in. 

“So, how is everything going between you and Chris?” Margarita spoke up. You usually hesitated whenever anyone asked you that question, feeling like those people were   
intruding on your person life because you couldn’t remember them. But not Margie, not your best friend. It was like a giant weight had been lifted off your shoulder; another person to talk to, confide in. 

A smile graced your lips at her question, just thinking about what you and Chris had done earlier that morning in the bathroom. “Good Margie, things are going really good.”  
Margarita didn’t let anything go and noticed your smile along with your blush tinted cheeks. “Holy shit Erica, did you sleep with him?”

“What? NO!,” you chimed back quickly, shaking your head. “…..not entirely.” The two of you shared a look before bursting out laughing as she put her arm around your shoulder and hugged you from the side. 

“That’s my girl.”

The two of you spent the next few hours in and out of shops, trying on dresses, pants, shorts and shirts; taking pictures together. It was never ending fun and you were happy to have her in your life. 

Making your way back to the car, you noticed a shop and instantly pulled Margarita inside. Just the thought of you and Chris having sex made you want to get something extra special. 

Walking into the store, Margarita looks around, nodding her head. “Now this is going to be fun!”


	22. Chapter 22

Two nights later you were up late, packing for the trip to NYC. It was a Tuesday night; you and Chris would be flying out early tomorrow morning and spending a week. Your actual birthday was on Saturday during this week and you had been so excited ever since you found out the news. 

Your luggage was situated on the bed and you were having déjà vu from packing to go to Disneyworld just a few weeks ago. But this trip was a whole different kind of excitement. You were going back to where your memories ended; to your home, even though now your home was considered here with Chris. 

Yesterday while Chris was out running a few errands, you washed your new clothes you had bought on Sunday; not wanting Chris to see any of it. Sneakily grabbing the new articles of clothing, you folded them and placed them neatly at the bottom of your luggage before piling some other clothes on top. 

“Hey baby,” Chris said from behind you, placing his arms around your waist. Your heart leapt at his voice, and you wondered if that feeling would ever go away. 

Turning in his arms you reached up on your tip-toes and gave him a quick kiss. “Hey to you too handsome.” His bright blue eyes were sparkling and you wanted to get lost in them forever. 

“How is the packing going?” You looked down to your suitcase, seeing it half full and gave him a shrug. Knowing that it was May, and the trip was to New York, you knew to pack a variety; tank tops, t-shirts, shorts, pants, sweatshirts and bathing suits. 

“As good as any packing can go I guess,” you remarked with a chuckle. “What time is our flight again tomorrow?”

Chris looked at you longingly before answering. “8a.m…..so with the flight and time zone difference, we should be getting there around 4:30.” You groaned loudly; flying was not your favorite thing in the world and it would be a long ass day tomorrow. “I know. The flight will be long but we’ll get through it. I’ll distract you.”

You smirked up at him, nibbling on your bottom lip. “Oh really? And ahh….what kind of distractions are we talking about?”

His eyes went wide before he started to laugh uncontrollably, shaking his head. “Not THOSE kinds of distractions you perve.”

“Me??? You were the one that said it!”

“Yeah, but you are the one who’s got the dirty mind.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes playfully. “I’m pretty sure you have a more dirty mind than me.”

~~~

Since the plane ride was one of the longer rides within the United States, the plane was bigger, and so was first class. The seats were larger with much more space and you were just happy to be seated right next to Chris again. 

Once the plane was leveled in the air, the seatbelt light came off as the Flight Attendants got to work with their drink rounds. It was early, but damned if you decided not to grab a drink. 

“I’ll take a Mimosa please,” you requested with a smile; Chris decided he would have one also. 

“How are you doing?” he asked, squeezing your hand gently, knowing how much you hated to fly. 

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as the plane hit a bit of turbulence. “I’ll….I’ll be alright once I get a little alcohol in me.”

The flight attendant came back around, placing your drinks on your trays and you hastily took a long sip; Chris talking quietly to the attendant as you did so. You rose a brow in questioning at him when she moved along. “I was just letting her know to keep the drinks coming to help calm you down.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk Mr. Evans?” you teased with a smirk and a wink. 

Instantly you saw the blush creep onto his face and you hid back your giggle. “No…no baby it’s nothing like that, I swear.”

“Chris,” you stated his name calmly, cupping his cheek with your right hand. “I’m kidding. It was a joke. I don’t want you to ever think you are taking advantage of me alright? Because I want you to know, that I want this. I’m not shying away from what I want anymore. Whatever happens between us two, intimately, I want it.” 

His eyes grew dark as you spoke, narrowing slightly as his gaze landed upon your lips. “Yeah,” he breathed out with a hint of demand which sent shivers down your spine.   
After downing your Mimosa rather quickly, you soon felt your erratic, nervous heart beat begin to calm; your leg not bouncing up and down and instead stood still. 

There wasn’t much turbulence for the rest of the plane ride, which you were so grateful for. Chris, unbeknownst to you, had brought a Cribbage board along for the ride. You nearly squealed in joy as he pulled it out; it was one of your favorite past times with your mother, playing this game. 

After five rounds, you ultimately kicked his ass and you were declared the winner of Cribbage; a smug competitive grin plastered on your face. It felt rare for you to win, as your mother always won this damn game against you. 

Once done playing Cribbage, you found a movie to watch as you nuzzled up to Chris, feeling relaxed from the many Mimosa’s you had to drink. The movie was romantic and in the end, you shed a few tears while watching it. 

~~~

Once your luggage was found, you and Chris hailed a taxi. The taxi pulled away from the airport and you felt alive. The city was in view and you couldn’t wait to walk around the place you used to call home. It was overwhelming being back here, but you were excited nonetheless. 

Your eyes were wide as you took in the tall buildings and people scattered all along the sidewalk; their eyes glued to their phones as they kept walking expertly without bumping into people; yes, this was home. 

The taxi made a right and you turned to Chris, brows furrowed. “Are we not staying at Sebastian’s place?” 

“We can if you want to, but I did book us a hotel in case you wanted some time to us.” Your heart jumped in your chest just thinking about alone time with Chris. The loving way he was looking at you with soft eyes, you definitely made up your mind. Giving him a smile, you nodded, letting him know you were more than alright with that idea. 

As the taxi stopped outside of the hotel, you couldn’t help but gasp in awe. It was a luxury hotel; one that you had never spent time in before. The Mandarin Oriental Hotel New York stood tall in front of you as you heard the door to the taxi open and close. The vehicle moved around as Chris got the luggage from the trunk before opening your door. 

The lobby of the hotel was immaculate with sharp structure points. It was very modern as you looked around; Chris checking in at the front. There were velvet couches and chairs, along with tables. Flowers and sculptures adorned the tables while art hung on the walls. It was everything you could have imagined and more. 

Getting into the elevator, you noticed there were 54 floors, and Chris pushed the button to floor number 50. The elevator ride was smooth and before you knew it, the doors opened to your floor. Your heart began to beat faster as you followed behind Chris until he stopped at your room number. With a smile, he placed the keycard in the slot and opened the door for you. 

The suite was breathtaking. There was a large half-circle couch in the living room that faced two floor to ceiling windows in the corner of the wall. It was luxury to its finest.   
There was no kitchen, but that was fine by you because you wanted to spend your time eating at all your favorite restaurants and bars while you were here. 

Moving along, you saw the entrance to the bedroom and your draw dropped. There was a large king sized bed, along with many pillows scattered along the top. Fresh flowers adorned the nightstand and a bench was propped up against the immense window; just waiting for someone to curl up onto a stare out in the beautiful view. Making your way to the window, it was even more staggering as you saw the view of Central Park. The park was large, just as you remembered it and went on for miles. It was a perfect surprise to your birthday week. 

“What do you say about unpacking and then heading for dinner? We can meet up with Sebastian and Margarita tomorrow.” At his words, you sighed in content, nodding your head. 

The two of you unpacked your luggage, making sure he didn’t see what you had packed at the bottom of yours. It was a secret, and hopefully tonight you would be able to put it on and make a debut. 

Walking out of the hotel, Chris grasped your hand with his and the two of you headed off to one of your favorite restaurants. He made sure to let you know that this entire week was about you; so anything you wanted to do or see, was up for grabs. 

It felt tremendous to be back in New York City; it was as if you had never left as you and Chris walked down the sidewalk and to the restaurant. The food, per usual was perfect and the two of you left with full bellies. 

Your own stomach began to churn with butterflies on the walk back, knowing exactly what you had in store for the night. It wasn’t that you were nervous for it to happen, it was the excitement that bubbled deep within your bones. You had wanted this for a long time now, to feel Chris’ naked body against your own. 

Back at the hotel, Chris slipped into the shower as you sat at the bench of the window in the bedroom; admiring the beautiful city lights below. It truly was the city that never slept. There were so many places that were open 24/7; always something to do. 

Your heart began to beat faster as you heard the water shut off in the bathroom; Chris emerging with a towel wrapped tightly around his waist; his chest hair glistening from the light on the lamp because of the water droplets. 

“My turn,” you said with a smile as you snuck your outfit into the bathroom without Chris seeing. Locking the door, you stripped of your outfit and turned the nozzle on the shower. The water was still very warm from Chris’ shower and you hopped right in. 

You hoped the shower would help you to relax, but you were too wound up with energy and sexual frustration knowing what you had planned afterwards. Closing your eyes, you imagined all the ways Chris had looked at you lately with his bright blue eyes, and sultry smiles….fuck and the way he looked at you with his face buried between your thighs.   
Your core began to ache, and you finished your shower quickly. 

Drying off, you put on your new lingerie set and covered it with a short black satin long sleeved robe. Your wet hair hung loose around your shoulders and it helped to cool your   
warm body. Taking one last look in the mirror, you gave yourself a nod before smiling and opening the door.


	23. Chapter 23

Opening the door of the bathroom, you took a shaky breath before walking into the bedroom. Chris was sitting at the end of the bed, hunched over with his phone in his hand. Since he already showered, his hair was wet and he was only wearing a pair of black sleep shorts. His torso was on full display as his back muscles rippled, making your mouth water. 

Standing in the doorway, you waited for Chris to notice you and once he finally did, you beamed in delight. “Fahk me,” he rasped out causing your stomach to lurch with desire.   
Licking your lips you walked towards him slowly, with as much sinfulness as you could muster, swaying your hips as you held your robe closed. He parted his legs as you got near so you could stand in between them. His eyes were already dark with lust as his hands splayed on your outer thighs. 

Leaning down you took his left earlobe in your mouth, nibbling on it. “I intend to,” you whispered out as an animalistic groan rippled through his throat. That noise he made sent such a craving to your center, one that you had never felt before and you knew you were making the right decision. 

“Baby……” Chris breathed out as his hands lightly trailed up and down your outer thigh, “we don’t have to do this.” The sincerity was in his voice, but after weeks together, you knew him well enough to know what he was really thirsting for; his eyes said it all. 

“No, we don’t,” you quipped, your hands tangling into his shaggy brown locks. “But I want to, and I know you want it too.” Chris’ hands tightened on your thighs as you spoke, this thumbs stroking your soft legs. 

Pressing your forehead against his, your breaths fanned each other as your breathing accelerated, only by a simple touch from him. It took a minute to realize that Chris had yet to see what you were wearing underneath and you pulled away. 

You felt yourself blush as his eyes were latched to your body. Getting the courage you needed you let your hand free of your robe as it opened. Chris’ lips parted as his eyes grew wide, taking in your choice of apparel for the evening. You were wearing a dark blue lace push-up bra with matching lace boy shorts. 

Chris shot up from the bed and stalked towards you, not even given you a minute to calm yourself before pushing you back against the wall and smashing his lips to yours. Heat surged through you veins as one hand tangled in his hair and the other clasped around his neck, holding him to you. He rocked his hips towards you and your mouth parted with a gasp. Chris took the opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth and you moaned in pleasure. He knew just what to do to turn you on and you couldn’t wait to have him inside of you. 

Trailing your nails down his bare chest, you felt him shiver under your touch. You felt his erection poking at your stomach. He pulled away from your lips as your hand cupped his cock. A grin appeared on your lips as you quickly discarded of his shorts, leaving him fully nude in front of you. Your breathing picked up as your eyes glanced across his glorious body. You wanted to worship him.

Gripping his hardened cock in your hands you sunk to your knees in front of him. Looking up, you saw Chris watching you eagerly with parted lips as you began to pump him. With a sultry smile, you wet your lips before tasting the pre-cum from his tip. You moaned at the saltiness as his hand came to wrap in your long loose curl of hair. It was astonishing how Chris could practically speak through his eyes alone. He was telling you that you didn’t have to do this if you didn’t want to, but in reality, you had wanted to do this for so long. He had taken care of you, nurtured you and made you feel loved; there was nothing more that you could have done. 

Opening your mouth you swirled your tongue around his tip, teasing him a bit before fully taking him into your mouth. Hollowing out your cheeks you began to bob your head back and forth; Chris’ hands tightening in your hair but not in a threatening way. You loved having him at your mercy, falling apart at your undoing as you began to suck him off. He was slick in your mouth, coated with your saliva and his pre-cum and you gripped the base of his cock where your mouth couldn’t reach. Using your hands and lips together, you began to suck with such fervor before slowing down. Taking your right hand you cupped his balls as you very gently scraped your teeth around his tip. It was enough to send Chris to the breaking point as he pulled out of your mouth. “Enough, I…I don’t want to finish like this babe.” 

He hastily pulled you up, turning you around before asserting his lips with yours; slowly backing you up and towards the bed. Your legs hit the bed and you made a strangled noise as Chris bit your lower lip; a certain hunger throbbing inside of you. Chris pulled the robe off your body and you were alert with an onslaught of goosebumps over your body. As Chris continued to look at you with dark lust filled eyes, your knees became weak and you fell back onto the bed; a smirk plastering on his face. 

This time, he dropped to his knees in front of you. His fingers lightly trailing up your thighs causing them to quiver under his delicate touch. You didn’t even have to hold your legs close together to know how wet you were; anticipating his touch. His hands reached up for your dark blue lace panties and pulled them off your body; your lips parting and your chest heaving. 

You lay back down on the bed, holding yourself up by your elbows as you watched Chris carefully. He parted your legs and you were spread wide for him. He leaned in closer, inhaling your scent and your eyes rolled back from the look of it. Chris hooked your legs atop his shoulders and you waited on bated breath for his next move. Your toes curled as your hands gripped the bed sheets; Chris teasing the inside of your thigh with feather light kisses. Your head fell back and you elbows shook. “Stop teasing,” your voice was pleading, sounding like a whine as the words passed your lips. 

Chris took your lips and spread them wide as you felt his breath on your mound. He was still teasing you, this much you knew as you felt his breath at your clit. “So fahking beautiful,” he husked. His Boston accent never seized to turn you on as your insides clenched. 

You and Chris exchanged glances for a long agonizing moment before he finally placed a kiss to your aching clit. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your arms giving out and you slumped back onto the bed. 

Chris blew onto your mound, making you feel alive as you jolted from his ministrations. His tongue flattened over your clit and then he sucked it into his mouth. He eased two   
fingers into your dripping hole; his tongue never leaving your clit. It was all too much; the sensations overwhelmed you. “I’m…I’m gonna come,” you whined as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. You had to hand it to him, Chris knew exactly how to work his fingers and mouth. Chris sucked your clit harder between his lips and it sent you over the edge. You shrieked as your inner walls snapped tightly around Chris’ fingers; your fists turning white with how hard you were gripping the sheets as you rode out the most intense orgasm you had ever experienced. 

You had a momentary lapse of black out before coming to; Chris still kneeling between your spread thighs, rubbing them gently. “How are you feeling?” he asked with a smirk.   
Shaking your head, you let out a deep breath. “Fucking amazing,” you replied with a giggle. Chris helped you back farther onto the bed and your head hit the pillow. You were living in pure ecstasy at this point. 

Reaching behind you, you unclasped your bra and threw it onto the floor. Chris gulped at your bare chest as his eyes roamed over your breasts. “Protection?” you asked with a brow raise. 

Luckily, Chris was prepared as he scrambled off the bed and towards his luggage. Chris got back on the bed and lay beside you as he rolled the condom on his hard dick. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked as he turned to face you. 

You loved how he seemed so concerned for your well-being, wanting to make sure you made the right decision in doing this. Cupping his cheeks, you pulled him in for a sultry kiss. “I want to do this Chris,” you answered truthfully. 

Chris got situated above you as you parted your legs for him. He looked longingly into your eyes as he lined himself at your entrance. With one swift motion, he pushed inside of you and you cried out in pleasure, feeling full in such a delectable way. 

He slowly began to move his hips, setting a slow thrusting rhythm as your hands splayed across his back. It was slow and sensual, just the way you wanted to remember your first time with him, even though it technically wasn’t your first time. His cock was large, filling you completely as he was teasing with his slow thrusting. 

In an attempt to be more confident, you latched your legs around his backside and turned yourselves over so you were now on top. Chris’ eyes widened at your movement and you began to ride him with fervor. Your back arched as your fingers dug into his chest, your hips gyrating as you felt your orgasm begin to build. 

Chris’ hands reached up and cupped your breasts; his thumbs circling your erect nipples. “Yes,” you breathed out, loving his hands on your body. Looking down and into his eyes, you licked your lips as his hips thrusted upwards, meeting yours. You felt your walls begin to tighten, as did Chris. Letting his right hand trail from your breast and down   
your stomach, his thumb began to rub on your already sensitive clit, sending you over the edge. Your legs quivered and your eyes shut tight enough for you to see nothing but   
white spots. Chris’ hips jolted upwards and your clenching walls sent him over the edge. The only thing heard in the room was panting breaths from the two of you as Chris leaned up, holding you tightly to him as you both rode out your orgasms.


	24. Chapter 24

Serene. Tranquil. That was the only way in which you could describe the way you felt as you woke up the following morning. Your body was warm, but that was because Chris was behind you, his right arm draped over your stomach, holding you close. 

It had been just over four weeks since your accident happened, and while you hoped to have remembered more memories by now, you were happy with what you did remember. You still had a long way to go to recovering all your memories and you hoped that one day, it will happen. But right now, you were blissfully happy, encompassed in Chris’ arms, and fully sated from your sexual encounter last night. 

There was a soft grunt coming from behind you as Chris’ beard tickled your bare shoulder. Placing a hand over your mouth to stop the giggling, you listened to him opening and closing his mouth, no doubt dry from sleeping all night and well into the morning. It wasn’t like you to sleep so late, but it also wasn’t like you to get such a well-rested nights’ sleep as of lately. 

As Chris began to stir from behind, you felt his warm breath on your neck and you couldn’t help the moan that escaped from your mouth. Chris’ arm tightened around your bare stomach as his lips began to place soft, open mouth kisses along your neck and spine. Instantly your clit was begging to be touched, just at the touch of Chris’ soft lips. The fact that this man turned you on with a few kisses made you weak in the knees; and you knew if you had been standing up right now, they would have given out on you. 

You felt his tongue begin to graze up and down your spine, just below your neck. “Chris,” you softly whimpered. Your bare pussy got wet at his ministrations and you needed to feel him inside you right now. Arching your back, you ass dug into his growing cock as he hissed at the feeling. “I need you Chris,” your words nothing but a plea. 

You felt him leave your backside and you rolled over to see him fishing a condom out of the drawer; hastily placing it on his ready cock. As he moved to hover over you, you took his cock in your hand and aligned him at your entrance before he stopped you. “Wait wait wait, are you ready?” he asked with concern. 

With a provocative smile, your hand left his dick and instead gently gripped his wrist and placed his hand at your open pussy. He groaned when his fingers felt the wetness. “Yeah you’re fahkin’ ready,” he growled before lining his cock up. Drunk or horny, that was when his Boston accent appeared the most. I’ll have to remember that you thought to yourself. 

In one quick push, he was fully sheathed inside of you as you both cried in pleasure at the feeling. His member filled you to the brim as he gave you a minute to adjust. Once you were ready, you wrapped your legs around his backside, urging him to continue. 

Chris wet his lips, your hands tangling in his hair as he began to thrust into you with rapid fire. With just a look, and your cries of desperation earlier, this wasn’t going to be slow and sensual but rather rough and quick, just the way you wanted it. He began to pound into you with such fervor you had to place your hands behind you and onto the headboard to keep from moving. His name fell breathlessly from your lips as he moved onto his knees, never slipping out of you. Reaching over he grabbed a pillow and placed it under your ass as your heart skipped a beat. This is new you thought as he began to move his hips back and forth. 

“Holy shit,” you breathed out as you now understood why he chose this position. His cock was hitting you at such an angle, that his tip kept hitting your g-spot each time he thrusted in and out of you. It was like nothing you had ever felt before. You watched as Chris took his eyes off you and down to where his cock met your pussy, slowly pushing in and out of you in a teasing way and the sounds of you getting even wetter echoed throughout the room. Chris was literally watching his cock enter you as a deep burning of desire flooded your body; it was the sexiest fucking thing you had ever seen. 

He knew just where your g-spot was as he teased you; his tip just hitting it perfectly back and forth in the same spot. You felt your high reaching from his teasing alone and once he felt your walls begin to clench, he pounded back into you quickly with his unrelenting hips. 

Your hands gripped the white bed sheets as it felt like the Earth stopped spinning. Your walls spasmed around his cock just as he stilled his motions, leaning down on his forearms as the two of you rode out your highs together. 

~~~

After taking a shower, together, you and Chris got dressed for the day. It was May 2nd, and checking the weather, there was a brisk wind today. You put on a clean pair of black boy shorts and a matching black cotton bra before slipping on a pair of dark skinny jeans, black tank-top and a light grey cardigan. 

Chris was wearing a pair of light washed jeans, white t-shirt and blue flannel; looking ever the sexy lumberjack man with his beard. Once he placed his baseball hat on, the two of you headed out of the hotel room and towards the elevator. 

“How long is it to Sebastian’s place from here?” Chris asked as he snaked his hand with yours after getting into the elevator. 

“Ummm, probably close to a mile,” you guessed. 

“Did you want to walk or take a taxi?”

Although there was a brisk wind, it was still a beautiful day outside. “Let’s walk!”

Hand in hand, you left the hotel with Chris. It was much louder outside compared to the quietness of the house back in Los Angeles. When you awoke without your memories, you were upset to find out you were now living in Los Angeles; mad that you wouldn’t be around the hustle and bustle of New York City anymore. But now that you were here, you were glad for the peace and quiet that was your home in LA. 

Cars and people littered the streets and sidewalks as you held Chris’ hand; the two of you maneuvering rather well down the crowded sidewalk. Cars honked as they were stuck in   
traffic and you knew, better than anyone that honking your horn during traffic won’t get you where you need to be any faster. 

After living here for so many years, you had gotten used to the smelly streets, but now that you had been away, the smell was more awful than you could remember; the wind not   
helping as it now wafted the smell up and down the streets. 

The breeze, while annoying because of the strong smell of garbage, was actually soothing on your warm face. You, and Chris it seemed, couldn’t stop smiling all morning long from the rendezvous both this morning and last night. It felt like your relationship was really coming full circle, and your heart felt full with joy and happiness. 

Of course the only thing missing in your life was your mother. You missed her greatly, and you knew at some point you would have to mourn her loss, and you will. With your birthday tomorrow, you just wanted to have fun with your friends and enjoy the time you had with them before going back home and taking a break from everything to grieve her. Your heart felt empty without your daily phone calls with her, but Chris was there for you, and he was mending the hole in your heart. 

Walking into Sebastian and Margarita’s apartment, it was just how you had remembered; everything was the same except for a few new art pieces on the walls. For a minute, it felt like home, but then Chris placed his hand on your lower back and you melted into his warmth; HE was your home. 

“Hey babe!” Margarita called as she got up from the couch and pulled you into her arms. 

“Hey Margie,” you replied with a giggle as she didn’t want to let you go. 

Margarita pulled you aside and into the kitchen as the guys talked on the couch; her smile never leaving her lips. “You are glowing,” she whispered, not wanting the boys to   
overhear her. 

Turning your head to look at Chris, you suddenly blushed thinking about this mornings activity. There he was, sitting with Sebastian, laughing at something he said. It made your knees weak just thinking that he was yours. Whirling back to Margie, you chewed on your lower lip before nodding your head; it was girl-code and she knew what it meant.   
“Holy shit Erica! About damn time! So, tell me everything…don’t leave the details out.”

“Haven’t you heard this before? Like, the first time it happened?”

“Well Sebastian and I were new to our relationship, but yes, you did tell me the spicy details once you and I became best friends,” she shrugged nonchalantly. “But I want to know if you feel the same way as before,” she finished with a wink. 

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as you remembered the last two encounters you had with Chris, the way he looked at you, the way his hands caressed every part of your body, and his tongue, fuck, his tongue was a piece of art. Opening them slowly, you peered into Margarita’s eyes. “Would I be cheesy if I said it was magical?”  
Her mouth dropped open as a squeak escaped her lips. “Girl that is what you said the first time around!”

You smiled back at her. “Seriously Margie. It was unfuckingbelievable. He is, without a doubt, a master of the art.” 

“So, is he better than Seb?”

You playfully nudged her, “I’m not answering that!”

~~~

The four of you headed out to lunch at your favorite pizza place called ‘Ops’. It was a place that you frequented a lot while living here, and their pizza was to die for.   
Your time at the restaurant was filled with good company, and a lot of laughter. By the end of the day, your stomach truly hurt from laughing so hard. Being with Chris, and your two best friends, you couldn’t have asked for a better birthday present. 

Heading back to Sebastian and Margarita’s apartment, the four of you agreed to sit down, relax and watch a movie. You didn’t care what movie you watched as you just wanted to get off your feet; forgetting how much walking was done when you lived here. Now you were spoiled with driving around every moment of the day. 

Sebastian put on a movie and you crashed on the couch, cuddling up to Chris as you pulled your knees upwards. It was relaxing to be in near him, at any point of time and you let out a content sigh. But too quickly, your head began to throb. 

As the movie began to play, you tried in vain to ignore the throb of your head, thinking it was just a headache. But as the movie progressed, so did your headache. “Have I ever seen this movie?” you asked the group, trying not to wince at the pain in your head. 

“Nope. It just came out on Netflix last week, so none of us have seen it,” Chris replied as he placed a tender kiss to your head. As much as you wanted to love his kiss, it made your headache worse.

About half way through the movie, the ache in your head got so bad that you doubled over in pain. Clutching your head, you clenched your eyes closed as, what you could only imagine, was every memory from the last three years came flooding back to you. It was as if you were watching your own home movie, you being the star. You saw everything; every last glimpse from the last three years. And you would have been happy to finally regain your memories, except you weren’t. They lied to you. What happened to your mother was true, but the events leading up to it, was all a lie and they left that all out. 

“Fuck is she alright?”

“What’s happening?

“Should we call an ambulance?”

As your mind cleared you began to hear voices; voices that you knew, that were familiar. Opening your eyes slowly, you felt that they were wet as you went to rub them. Sure   
enough, tears were evident on your eyes and face; your chest heaving and your throat sore. Turning, you saw three very worried pairs of eyes looking at you. 

You wished to tell them you were alright, but you were anything but. With your eyes narrowing, you stood on shaky legs, walking backwards and away from them as Chris tried to come towards you. 

“I can’t BELIEVE you!!! You fucking withheld the truth from me…..all THREE of you! How COULD YOU???” you screamed before storming off to the bathroom and slamming the door on, who you thought were the three most important people in your life.


	25. Chapter 25

The physical pain had died down in your head, but what hurt the most, was the emotional pain you felt boiling inside of you. They told you the half-truth of what happened to your mother, not the whole truth. Sure, she died because some asshole broke into her house, and she was an older woman who lived alone; but the events leading up to what happened, was what they withheld from you and you were beyond pissed. 

Sitting down on the cold tile floor of the bathroom did nothing to help cool your warming, heating body. Your back was up against the door as tears streamed down your face at a rapid pace. The minute you turned your back on the three in the living room and headed for the bathroom, you could hear their immediate steps on the floor behind you; but you wouldn’t give in, not that easily. 

“Erica, open up,” Chris pleaded from the other side of the bathroom door, but you relented. “Baby talk to me.” His voice was eager, worried, but Chris out of all of them, should have told you the truth. You lay your head against the hard wood door, closing your eyes and reliving the memory. 

Flashback

“Fuck,” you growled to yourself as you checked your phone, realizing you were already over an hour late to head out to your mom’s house in Pennsylvania. You had wanted to leave no later than 8p.m, hoping to get there before the sun set as you wanted to tell her some eager news; news that shouldn’t have to be told over the phone. It was close to a two hour drive, but with everything you had to get done at work before having a week off, you were running late; it was now close to 8:30p.m.

Grabbing your purse and car keys, you rushed out of the apartment and headed for your car in the designated car space on the road. You rarely used your car, mainly to visit your mom, and you were lucky to have a designated car space at all. 

Pulling out onto the road, there wasn’t too much traffic, until about two miles down the road; then it was a stand still. “You have to be kidding me,” you murmured to nobody but yourself, banging your head against the headrest of the seat.

Half an hour later, you finally got out of the traffic jam, which was caused by an accident and as you got onto the freeway, you called your mom as your phone rested on a hands free set attached to one of the vents on your car. 

“Hello?” your mother’s soft voice echoed through the speaker of your phone as it sat attached to a hands-free phone holder on your dash board. 

“Hey mom! Look, I was stuck in traffic so I’m going to be a little late coming over,” you spoke as you sped through the open freeway, heading to Pennsylvania. It was a close to two hour drive, but it was important that you see her. 

“Oh don’t worry about that sweetie. You just get here when you can. No rush.” You smiled at how wonderful of a person your mom was. “I’m just excited to see you. It’s been a few months.”

“Ugh, I know. I’ve been so busy with work and what not, getting ready to start filming a new movie. There is just so much detail that goes in to planning set designs before you even get to the filming part.”

“I know how hectic your schedule can be Erica. I’m just always happy to see you when I get the chance. I’m also eager to hear about the exciting news you wanted to tell me.” 

You chewed on your lower lip, nervous to tell her the news, but hoping she would be just as excited as you were when you found out.

Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, your right hand was placed on your belly, hoping your mother would take the news well. She was traditional in all senses, and you trusted she would be alright with the fact that you and Sebastian weren’t married yet. 

As you sped past the speed limit, making your way towards your mom’s house, there was a quiet hum over the phone; it was something you loved about your mother. Just knowing she was there, on the other line, brought peace to your mind; but it was soon disrupted. 

There was a loud clattering noise from her end, almost like glass breaking. “Mom, what was that?” you asked, your voice becoming shaky as you became anxious. 

“I…I don’t know baby. I’m going to check it out. It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen,” your mother replied in a whisper. 

It felt like someone punched you in the gut; something wasn’t right. “Mom…….,” your voice was shaky as you spoke barely above a whisper. “Mom don’t go in there. Just get out of the house. Please. MOM PLEASE!”

Your cries of desperation went on deaf ears as it became eerily silent. As your knuckles gripped the steering wheel so hard, they became white, your mom let out a strangled gasp before all hell broke loose. 

“What are you doing in my house?” your mother shouted. “Get out. GET OUT!!”

Hearing your mothers words, your entire body froze as your heart pummeled against your ribcage. It sounded like your mothers phone clattered to the ground as shuffling could be heard in the background. “MOM!!! MOM ARE YOU ALRIGHT??” you screamed so loud that your vocal chords reverberated back and forth. 

You heard your mothers’ ear piercing shriek and your world all but crumbled around you. Blood was pumping so hard throughout your body from adrenaline as all noises faded out; your mouth hung open as you fought back your tears until you saw a rest stop. 

Taking the exit, you parked your car and took the phone off the cradle, placing it up to your ear. “Mom?” you asked with a shaky voice as you got out of your car and began to pace. “Mom are you there?”

Slumping down on the dirty parking lot you let your tears flow freely, yet no noise escaped your throat. All you could hear on the other line of the phone was extremely shallow breathing. “Er…..Erica,” your mothers’ hallowed voice sounded from the phone. “I…I ju-just….wanted….to say….that..I….lo-love….you….my….sweet…baby..gi-girl.”

In that moment, you knew; you knew that she was on the brink of death. “No mom,” you began to wail as her words sunk it. “Don’t leave me please!!! I love you!!!” Her breathing grew more shallow until you heard her take her final breath. 

End Flashback

“Erica please open the door!” Chris’ begging becoming more urgent. Standing up from the floor you walked over to the sink, turned it on, and splashed cold water on your face. You couldn’t even describe the mental and emotional pain you were going through right now, reliving those memories of what happened to your mother. 

Your hands gripped the edge of the sink, your eyes clenching shut again. 

Flashback

“She’s go-gone Seb,” you cried into his shoulder as he held you tightly as you sat in your mom’s couch in her house. You managed to pull yourself together long enough to call the police before you called Sebastian. He dropped what he was doing and came to pick you up at the rest stop before the two of you made it to your mom’s house. 

After speaking to the cops about everything that happened, the ambulance took your mom away as Seb began to clean up the mess in the house. Once he was done, he was back to holding you in his arms once again. 

“I know babe. I’m so sorry,” he whispered, placing a kiss on your head. 

“I…I didn’t ev-even…get to…tell h-her…about the..ba-baby,” you hiccupped between sobs. You weren’t far along, only about four weeks, but it was the reason why you wanted to come see your mom; to tell her in person about the pregnancy. 

“I know. But she will be watching down on us, and on the baby.”

The following week went by in a blur as you made preparations for the funeral. She was being buried right next to your grandparents. Because your mom was the only family you had, there weren’t too many people at the funeral; many of them consisting of your friends, including the Marvel cast and crew.

While your heart felt heavy from her loss, your friends and Marvel family were there for you and Sebastian had been your rock. As she was lowered into the grave, you began to weep heavily. Sebastian held onto your right hand, while you felt Chris intertwine his hand with your left, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

Once the casket was placed six feet under, everyone began to disperse, giving you time to yourself. Sebastian gave you a kiss on the forehead before walking a few feet away.   
“How is she holding up?” Chris asked him, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he kept his eyes on the back of your frame. 

“Not good man. She blames herself for all of this.”

Chris snapped his head towards Sebastian, his eyes growing wide. “How the hell could she possibly think this is her fault?”

Sebastian let out a long sigh, glancing at your hunched over body. “She was on her way to her mom’s house to tell her something important. She was running late, then got caught in a traffic jam. She said if she wasn’t running late, she wouldn’t have been caught in traffic, and she would have been at her house when it happened; that she could have helped fight off the attacker.”

“That’s ridiculous. She could have been killed herself if she was there.”

“I know man, that’s what I keep telling her but she has all this guilt built up inside of her. Chris, she’s pregnant.”

End Flashback

Looking in the mirror, your eyes glimpsed down to your stomach. Slowly, you placed your hand across the expanse of your torso as revelation came to mind; you were pregnant with Sebastian’s baby three summers ago. A mixture of fury and sadness coursed through your already shaking body. Slamming your hands down onto the marble countertop in the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror; the snarl evident on your face. 

Marching to the door, you flung it open to see three, very worried people staring back at you. “I was pregnant!” you seethed, nostrils flaring as you looked Chris, then Margarita, and finally Sebastian; your gaze lingering on his. 

They all seemed shock as they realized that you finally knew, finally remembered everything. “Erica,” Sebastian began to speak but you quickly held your hand up, silencing him. Brushing past the three of them, you grabbed your phone and purse before heading towards the door. 

“Where are you going?” Chris asked with distress; his brows crinkled together. 

You stilled your footsteps, not even bothering to turn around. “I need some time to myself.”

“Do you really think that’s such a good idea right now Erica?” The fury began to bubble deep in you as you spun on your heels to face him. 

“I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks right now Chris. I’m going out to get some time to myself, and process this,” you spat, turning around and heading for the door before you stopped again. “And don’t even THINK about following me!”

Slamming the door closed behind you, your feet rushed towards the elevator as you pressed the button for the main floor. Your breathing was accelerated from everything you had remembered and also from your quick escape. 

Almost immediately after getting off the elevator, your phone began to ring; it was Margarita. Declining the call, you turned your cell phone off and headed out the doors. It was dusk and although the air wasn’t quit ‘fresh’, it still felt wonderful to be outdoors rather than inside with the thick tension that filled the apartment. 

The sidewalk was sparse compared to how it was in the afternoon as you picked a random direction and began to walk. You had to will the tears away, at least for the time being   
as your feet quickly carried you down the street. Beginning to see where you were, you headed straight for another three blocks before entering your favorite hole-in-the-wall bar as you just wanted to drink everything away.


	26. Chapter 26

“Damnit she’s not answering,” Margarita sighed as she hung up her phone. 

“Straight to voicemail,” Sebastian quipped, setting his phone down on the kitchen table before heaving out a long sigh. “I fucking knew this would happen. I had this fucking nagging feeling that we shouldn’t have held out on this information; that we should have just told her flat out.”

Margarita came over, hugging Sebastian from behind as she lay her head on his back. “I know Sebby but the doctor said it was best if she tried to remember herself.”

“Whether we told her ourselves, or she remembered it herself, I knew she would react the way she did. I mean fuck, she has every right to. Her mom was murdered all the while she was on the phone, listening to it happen,” Chris responded dejectedly. “I’m worried about what’s going to happen to her.”

The three of them stood there in the kitchen, faces sullen. “Where do you think she went?”

Sebastian pondered Margarita’s question for a minute. “I know where she is.”

~~~

Two shots later, you were now nursing your beer, playing with the label on the bottle as your mind processed everything. 

Flashback

One Month After Your Mothers’ Death

After her funeral, you spent the majority of your time locked up in the bedroom, sleeping, crying or both. Sebastian tried to get you out of the apartment, but it was no use. It was all your fault that she was dead; all because you were running late. As someone as anal as you for being on time, the one time you were late, it ended in tragedy. 

It was also plainly clear that you had become paranoid. Losing your mother to a random act of violence really triggered something deep inside of you. You were constantly checking, and re-checking to make sure all the doors and windows were locked. If Sebastian had to leave the apartment on business, you were always checking in on him; calling, texting, making sure he was alright. You hated being alone; just knowing Sebastian was safely in the apartment somewhere made everything better for you. Deep down, you were losing sense with reality. 

The door to the bedroom opened and the bed dipped behind you. “Babe you’ve got to get out of here. Lets go and get something to eat, or go to the park, get some fresh air.”  
“No,” came your quick reply, your hands wiping at your fallen tears. 

“Erica please. You haven’t left the bedroom in three days and you’ve barely eaten anything. It’s not good for the baby.” Your hand rubbed your belly, even though it wasn’t swollen as you weren’t far enough along yet. Sebastian was right, it wasn’t good for the baby that you had not gotten fresh air, and weren’t eating much the last few days.   
“I’m tired,” you whispered as you felt your eyes grow heavy. 

“Alright,” he replied, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Take a nap and I’ll have some food ready for you when you wake up.” You simply nodded, letting your eyes close and drift to sleep. 

It wasn’t a peaceful nap, that was for sure. Memories plagued you, of your mother screaming and her shallow breathing before taking her final breath. It had been that way for the last month, each time you tried to get some sleep. 

You awoke from your nap with a sharp pain in your stomach. It felt like the most severe cramps you could have imagined; nausea creeping up on you. Throwing the covers over your legs, you stared down in horror as the sheet was covered in blood. With your heart racing you scrambled off the bed; your knees giving out on you as you tumbled to the floor with a thud. 

It felt like someone was crushing your heart in their hand as you gasped for air, reality setting in. You had seen enough movies and television shows to know what was happening; you were losing the baby. 

The door to the bedroom burst open; Seb’s eyes growing wide as he saw the bedsheet, and then you on the floor. “Erica!” he called your name in a hurry as he rushed towards you. “Baby what happened?!”

A choked sob eventually emerged from the back of your throat. It was all your fault; everything. Your mother dying; your fault. The guilt you carried so deeply because of her death, which now resulted in the loss of your baby; your fault. You were being punished, and rightfully so. If you had only been to your mother’s house on time, you could have helped her, and she could possibly be alive; your baby would still be alive. 

“The…the baby……” you wailed out, clutching your stomach. “It’s all….all my fault! EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT!!!” 

Sebastian placed his arms around you. “Sweetheart, it’s not…” he started to say but you took him by surprise, pushing him off you. 

“Don’t you GET IT? IT’S ALL MY FAULT!!! My mother’s DEATH and now losing THE BABY!!! IT ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE OF ME! I’M BEING PUNISHED SEBASTIAN AND I DESERVE IT!”

End Flashback

A single tear rolled down your cheek and you quickly wiped it away. “Everything alright darling?” the bartender asked as he stood in front of you. The bar had become   
increasingly louder as you were replaying the memories in your head. 

“M’fine,” you replied, quickly finishing your now warm beer. “I’ll take another one though.” The bartender retreated to the cooler, grabbing you another bottle of beer. He took the top off, then placed the bottle in front of you. Giving him a weak smile, you brought the bottle to your lips and relished in the cold brew as it ran down your throat. 

Flashback

Two Months After Your Mothers’ Death

The guilt was eating you up. It was all you could think about ever since that day. Your mother was gone. Your baby was gone. Sebastian kept reassuring you that it wasn’t your fault; none of it was your fault. He said that if you were to be at your mom’s house when the attack happened, you yourself could have died too. But he just didn’t understand. He didn’t know how it felt to listen on the phone while your mother was being attacked and murdered. How could he understand? It didn’t happen to him. 

The guilt and stress was so much that it caused you to miscarry; that’s what the doctor had said. But their words didn’t matter to you. You were guilty of it all and you knew it, no matter what anybody had said to you. 

Sebastian was out at meetings with Marvel all day as you weakly made your way into the large master bathroom. Opening the cabinet you found what you were looking for; bottles of anti-anxiety medications and antidepressants the doctor gave you. 

Taking both bottles, you opened the caps on them and filled up a cup with water. Knowing just what you had planned on doing, your legs began to tremble and they buckled, causing you to fall flat on your ass; the cool tile did nothing for your heated body. 

Dumping the pills into your hand, you threw as many into your mouth as possible and took a big gulp of water. Some of the pills scattered out of your hand and mouth, onto the floor. Placing the cup on the tiled floor beside you, you relaxed your head against the cabinet. 

For a while, you weren’t feeling anything and thought maybe you didn’t take enough pills. But soon after that thought, you began to feel funny. It was as if everything was in slow motion; your pounding heart soon began to calm. A small smile placed on your lips as you felt your vision begin to blur.

~~~

“Where are we going?” Chris asked as he walked briskly down the street, tailing Sebastian and Margarita. 

“To Erica’s favorite bar. If she isn’t there, then I don’t know where she is,” came Sebastian’s reply, praying that you were there. 

Chris’ heart wretched in his chest as he thought back to three years ago and all the shit you had gone through. He was the one to pick you up after you broke up with Sebastian.   
He, for some odd reason, was the only one to get through to you. 

“Here we are,” Sebastian said as the three of them stood outside the bar. It was definitely a hole-in-the-wall bar. The sky was now fully dark outside as the three of them made their way inside the very dimly lit bar. Patrons crowded around the bar and tables as a rock song blasted through the speakers. 

“There she is,” Margarita said over the loud music, nudging her chin in the direction of the bar where you were sat at a stool. Slowly, Chris, Sebastian and Margarita began to make their way towards you; your back to them. 

The seat to your right was empty as your gaze was glued to the coaster, watching the dewiness of the beer coat the cardboard. Out of the corner of your eye you saw a figure sit down next to you. Feeling their gaze locked on you, you rolled your eyes before lifting the tip of the beer bottle to your lips. 

“Erica,” Chris’ soft, concerning voice sang. Placing the bottle back down, you turned your head to look at him. He looked haggard, like he hadn’t slept in a long time, but you knew that wasn’t true. The two of you slept so well last night. Guilt crept through your hot body; it was your fault he looked this way. You had worried him because you recalled your memories, and ran. “Baby,” he called again. 

At the sound of his voice for the second time, more tears slipped down your cheek and that was all it took for Chris to wrap his arm around you as your face met his chest. He was your comfort place; your home as he let you sob into his warm chest; his arms encased around you. 

Just then, there was a cackle of a laugh, making you jump. “No fucking way!” a loud patron with a gruff voice roared. “It’s fucking Captain America and The Winter fucking Soldier!” This was so not something you wanted to deal with right now, and you knew your friends would rather not deal with a drunkard in this situation either. “And hey, aren’t you that chick from Adventureland?” 

Chris pulled away from you and looked at Sebastian. “I’ll handle this,” Sebastian said calmly just as Chris waved the bartender over. He pulled out a crisp $100 bill and handed it to the bartender before helping you to your feet. You swaggered a bit from the shots and beer you had just drank; but Chris held onto you so you wouldn’t fall. 

As he kept his head down, he ushered the two of you out into the fresh night air; but the smell of garbage from the populated city streets didn’t smell too fresh. You and Chris walked down the street, only about a block before Margarita and Sebastian joined you. 

“How about we head back to the apartment?” Chris asked with as much of a smile he could muster. 

Your chin quivered as you only managed to nod your head. The four of you began walking back at a slow yet leisurely pace. In this moment, you just wanted to get out of the   
nightmare that was your memories. You regretted wanting to know what happened; regretted everything that happened in your past. Because of your lateness, your mother died,   
because of your stress, you killed your unborn baby. You didn’t want to relive all of this over, but now you had no choice. You could only hope you would be strong enough to overcome everything for a second time.


	27. Chapter 27

Days. That was how long it felt like to make the trek back to Sebastian’s apartment. But in reality it must have only been a fifteen minute walk. The longest fifteen minutes of your life. The tension was thick between the four of you as you walked behind Sebastian and Margarita; Chris glued to your side albeit not touching you in any way. He wanted to comfort you, but not coddle you. He had been through this before; this much you knew. 

“I’m going to go and lie down,” you mumbled as your feet managed to walk you through the door of the apartment. 

“Do you want me….,” Chris started to say but you cut him off. 

“I just want to be alone right now.”

You felt three pairs of eyes on you, and you didn’t want them to feel sorry for you; you didn’t want their damn sympathy. You just wanted to lay down in bed and forget this day   
ever happened. 

“We’ll be right here for you if you need anything sweetie,” Margarita spoke softly as you managed to nod your head. 

~~~

As your head hit the pillow you couldn’t hold back the tears as they rolled down your cheek and you relived more memories that appeared while you were at the bar earlier. It was the first memory you recalled after losing your memories; the memory where you and Sebastian were fighting and he refused he tell you what had happened. 

Flashback

You were at a Mexican restaurant, one that you and Sebastian frequented in NYC. He ordered the burrito empanada, yet you were barely there in your mindset. Instead you were reeling from what he had said earlier to you. 

“What did you mean earlier?” you snapped after the waitress had left. Sebastian sighed, lowering his gaze from yours. “Don’t look away from me Seb!”

His eyes snapped up to meet yours, they were soft, sorrowful even. “You know what I meant Erica,” he admitted, giving you a pointed look. 

You rolled your eyes, chugging your drink, just wanting to forget this night. “What, you think I’m fucked up don’t you? Ever since that night you think I need to be locked up in an institution? Well guess what Seb, maybe you’re right! Maybe I do need to be locked away forever!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he growled angrily, his eyes narrowing. 

“Yeah, well it sure seemed like it,” you scowled. “I mean, how the fuck am I supposed to interpret what you said huh? I fucking tried to KILL myself and then you go and tell me   
that you want to send me to a goddamn psychiatric ward!” 

“Erica, calm down, please. People are starting to look at us.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes and took another sip of your drink. “Let them fucking look Sebastian. I don’t give a fuck.” Closing your eyes, you concentrated on your racing heart   
and thoughts as your nails pinched the soft tender skin of your wrists. 

End Flashback

Using your hand to wipe the snot from your nose, you couldn’t help but notice the small circular scars that were scattered along both of your wrists. You hadn’t noticed them before, but now, as your memories became clear, you knew exactly how they got there. 

Without another thought, you pinched your left wrist with your nails, reveling in the calm the pain brought you as it made you think of nothing but the pain; not the memories. Blood began to seep from the wound as you pulled your hand away, finding fresh skin to sink your nails into yet again. 

As your wrist began to throb with pain and the dark memories soon fading from your mind, you shut your eyes, utterly exhausted and slipped into a deep slumber. 

~~~

You were unsure of the time when you woke up, but the sky was still dark and your neck ached from the position you had fallen asleep it. Sluggishly, you got yourself up into a sitting position before all the memories came flooding back to you again, making you want to scream in agony, but you held back. 

It felt as though you hadn’t had any water in months, your throat hoarse and raw as you made your way to the kitchen for a glass of water. Upon opening the door, you peeked your head out, but heard nothing but quiet. 

Not wanting to wake anyone up and have them badgering you with questions, you silently crept to the kitchen only to be caught off guard with three pairs of eyes trained on you from the couch. 

“You’re up,” Chris spoke with such eagerness as his eyes landed on you. 

Without so much as a glance, you turned and grabbed a glass from the cabinet before filling it with the water from the faucet. Placing the glass to your lips, you leaned your head back and took a big gulp, relishing in the feel of the cool liquid on your parched throat. 

Setting the cup back down, you didn’t dare turn your back to look at them; deciding to head back to the bedroom instead and shutting the door. 

You sat down on the edge of the bed as you felt the soreness of your wrist. Placing your left wrist palm up, you had to fight back the tears as you realized what you had done to yourself. It was a step backwards, that much you knew. 

There was a knock on the door and before you could pull the sleeve of your shirt down, Chris walked in. His eyes immediately went to your wrist, which was cradled in your other hand. 

“Erica, what did you do?” he asked with such worry in his voice as he rushed to your side. 

Guilt immediately fluttered throughout your body as Chris took your wrist in his hands carefully, inspecting the damage. He tore his gaze from your red swollen wrist and up to your eyes. 

After the guilt began to fade, you started feeling anger; and lots of it. Pulling your wrist out of his grasp, you go to your feet. “I was dealing with it,” you snapped. 

“Dealing with it? Are you kidding me Erica? THAT,” he said pointing to your wrist, “is NOT dealing with it. It’s taking a selfish road instead of the right road.”

“Selfish? SELFISH? Are you sure you want to be calling ME selfish at this point Chris? YOU are the one that decided to withhold all this important information from me knowing FULL well that I DESERVED to know!”

“I WAS JUST DOING WHAT THE DOCTOR ASKED ME TO DO!” 

Chris wasn’t the one to normally yell, especially at you and you were taken aback at his harsh tone. Shaking your head, you grabbed your purse off the bed and walked out of the bedroom; Chris quickly following your footsteps. 

“Erica where are you going?”

Halting your steps, you turned to face him as tears streaked your face. “You want selfish Chris? Fine. You and I, we are OVER! I’m going to the hotel, packing my shit, and taking the next flight back to L.A.”

Chris didn’t even say anything as he stared at you, stunned while you slammed the door closed. It took him a minute to realize what just happened before he began to march towards the front door. 

“Chris don’t,” Sebastian said, having heard everything. Chris turned to see him and Margarita standing in the hallway. 

“I can’t leave her alone right now. You both know that.”

“I’ll go to her,” Margarita spoke up, walking towards Chris. 

Chris let out a deep sigh, letting his head bow down at everything that had transpired in the last 24 hours. He reached into back pocket, taking out his wallet and producing the hotel room card. “Room 713,” was all he said before Margarita grabbed her purse and headed out the door. 

~~~

Her steps were quick, knowing she didn’t want to leave Erica alone for long at all as she made her way into the hotel lobby. “Come on, come on,” she whispered as she waited for the elevator doors to open. Her hands fidgeted together and she let out a sigh once the doors slid open. She tapped on the 7th floor button as she paced back and forth in the elevator. 

She knew the entire story of what happened to Erica after she lost her mother, and her baby. She knew the lengths Erica would, and could go to. As the doors slid open, she raced along the hallway until she stopped in front of room 713. 

Knocking quickly, she looked around and noticed she was alone in the hallway. “Erica open up sweetie. It’s just me, Margie.” The door didn’t open as she began to knock insistently again. “Erica please open the door.” Her heart began to race and just as she reached for her cell to call Sebastian, the door opened up. 

There stood Erica, eyes red as tears streaked her face. “What have I done Margie?”


	28. Chapter 28

As you shut the door to Sebastian’s apartment, you rushed down the steps, two at a time, and out into the city streets. Taking a deep breath to clear the fuzz from your head, you began walking briskly towards your hotel; afraid Chris would be storming after you. 

The streets were flooded with people as you kept peering behind you to see if Chris was following you or not. Tears streaked your face as people kept giving you concerned looks as you passed by quickly. 

Making it to your hotel in record time, you rushed into the elevator and let out a deep breath as it raced to your floor. 

With each memory from the past few years flooding your brain, it was bringing on one massive headache; yet you still couldn’t figure out one thing; why you would break up with Sebastian. He was there for you, for everything, and never once did he blame you for losing your unborn baby. No matter how hard you thought about it, it just didn’t make sense to you. 

Sebastian was always good to you, and the two of you hardly ever fought. Yet, in the toughest time of your life, you just up and dumped him. It was breaking your heart all over again. You were beginning to wonder if it had all been a big mistake; that you weren’t in your right mind at the time when you broke up with him. 

You had to admit, that each and every time you saw Sebastian, your heart picked up a beat and your stomach did a flip. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that you still loved Sebastian…you would always love him, but were you still IN love with him?

There was a quick knock on the door and your head snapped up. It couldn’t possibly be Chris because he would have his own key to the room. 

“Erica open up sweetie. It’s just me, Margie.” You let out a relieved sigh as you wiped the snot from your nose with the back of your hand. The knocking persisted. “Erica please open the door.”

Getting off the bed, you slowly wobbled to the door and unlatched it. Your eyes stung from the constant tears as you looked into her worried face. “What have I done Margie?”

Margarita moved swiftly, catching you in her arms as the door to the hotel room shut and the two of you slumped onto the floor. “Shhh, it will all be alright Erica,” she cooed as she held you tightly in her arms.

Your body began to shake from all the sadness and guilt that became a sudden onslaught. After all these weeks of wanting to remember your memories, you abruptly wished you hadn’t remembered anything. “It hurts so much,” you cried in your best friends’ arms as she rocked you back and forth, doing her best to comfort you.

“I know Erica,” she responded with such calmness. “You’ve been through this before sweetie. And I have no doubt in my mind that you can do it again. This time you have me…and I’m not going anywhere.”

The solace you felt in her arms was enough to ease the tension in your body; but not the pain in your mind. Your thoughts still swam to Sebastian and wondering what life would be like if you were still with him; all while his current girlfriend consoled you. You felt guilty, but wanted more answers from Sebastian, no matter what the cost was. 

“I think I broke up with Chris,” you croaked out. 

A soft chuckle came from Margie. “I think you were being erratic. I don’t think you meant it and I’m certain Chris didn’t think you were being serious.” Your throat was parched from crying so much; your eyelids heavy. Margarita helped you onto the bed and placed the covers over your body. “Do you want me to stay with you?” Weakly you nodded your head as you felt the bed dip behind you. She placed her arm around your torso and cuddled you from behind. You loved being the little spoon. 

~~~

Getting nearly no sleep all night with your mind racing, you deemed it was a good enough time to wake up at 8am. Checking your phone, you saw that it was dead after forgetting to plug it into the charger overnight. Margie was still asleep behind you as you quietly got out of bed. 

Grabbing the notepad the hotel had left out and a pen, you wrote her a quick note before sneaking out of the room. 

~~~

Margarita opened her eyes to a cold and quiet room. “Erica,” she called out your name, but got no response. It was almost 9:30 in the morning and your side of the bed was cold; meaning you hadn’t been there in quite some time. “Shit,” she muttered to herself. Just before she began to panic, she saw the note sitting on your pillow. 

Margie,

I need to speak with Sebastian, but my phone died. Please tell him to meet me at “our place”. He will know what it means. Thanks for everything last night. 

Erica

She scrambled to find her phone in the messy chaos of the room. Once she found it, she saw all the missed calls and texts from Sebastian. She quickly dialed his number and paced the room waiting for him to answer. 

“Margarita! I’ve been trying to call you and text you all night!” Sebastian’s troubled voice spoke over the speaker. 

“I know I know. I came here and saw what a wreck Erica was. After helping her to bed, I pretty much fell asleep right along with her.”

“How is she doing?”

Margarita let out a deep sigh. “Well, I’m not too sure right now.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Umm, she’s not really here at the moment.”

Margarita could hear a pin drop waiting for Sebastian to speak again. “You lost her?!?!?” In the background, Chris could be heard shouting.

“Sebby, I didn’t LOSE her. She just wasn’t here when I woke up. She did leave a note though.”

She heard Sebastian let out a deep breath. “And what did it say?”

“She asked you to meet her at ‘our place’. Whatever that means.”

“Yeah. Yeah I know exactly where that is. Look, you come back to the apartment and stay with Chris while I go meet her alright?”

~~~

It was still a bit chilly out, being only the beginning of May. Luckily you remembered to bring your coat as you wrapped it tightly around your shivering body. The streets were busy as you made your way through the usual hustle and bustle of the morning rush. You kept your head down as you walked to your destination. 

A few people bumped into you as you walked, but it was nothing you weren’t used to. Your mind was on Sebastian and the relationship you once shared with him. No matter how many times you tried, you couldn’t wrap your head around why you would break up with him!

As you finally reached Central Park, you let out a sigh of relief as you made your way inside, going to the spot that you and Sebastian once called your own. It was perfect really, for the two of you. It was where you would spend a lot of your extra time with him while you two were together. It was called “The Pond” and it was utterly breathtaking. Making your way onto Gapstow Bridge, you leaned your arms on the cemented ledge; taking in the beauty of the place you once loved. 

You were unsure how long it would take for Margie to wake, see the note, and contact Sebastian. But you didn’t care. You had all the time in the world to wait at this moment.   
The trees were beginning to bloom and you took a deep breath, getting as much of that fresh air that you so damn well wanted. 

Lost in thought, you felt someone come to stand next to you. Instantly you knew it was Sebastian. “I was worried about you,” his voice was quiet, collected. “Chris too.”  
“You don’t need to worry about me Sebastian.”

Without hesitation, he pulled you into his arms and wrapped you tightly in his arms. “How can you possibly say that Erica?” After everything you’ve been through? Everything we’ve been through?”

You smelt his familiar musky scent and immediately it felt like you were home; where you belonged. Yet images of Chris’ face flashed before your mind. Not only your body, but your mind was conflicted as to how you felt. 

“I just feel so lost,” you choked out, not wanting to start crying again. Your throat was already hoarse from all the crying you did yesterday. 

Sebastian pulled away, cupping your cheeks. “I’m here for you Erica. I will always be here for you.” Your heart swelled, your eyes gazing at his lips while he spoke. “And so is Chris and Margie.” Well, that ruined everything for you. 

One minute you want to kiss Sebastian, and the next, your mind played visions of you and Chris, passionately tangled in each other’s limbs in bed. “I think I just ruined my relationship with Chris though.”

A soft laughter rumbled deep within his body. “Erica, it’s going to take a lot more than ‘we’re over’ to break the two of you up. You and Chris were meant for each other!”

“I’m not so sure about that,” you grumbled out, releasing yourself from his arms as you made your way across the bridge and onto the lush green grass. Taking a seat on one of the empty benches, you placed your arms on your legs while resting your hands on your face. The confusion was boiling through your body and at this point, you wanted nothing more than to scream. 

Sebastian nudged you before speaking, “what’s on your mind?”

“Even though my memories are back…..I’m just having a hard time coming to terms of why I broke up with you. I mean…you and I….we had a plan! We were going to get   
married, maybe have a kid or two. And yet I broke up with you. I just don’t get it!”

Sebastian ran is hand up and down your back, soothing you. It felt wonderful and it made you miss everything you had with him. “Erica, it was a dark time for you and-“

“And you didn’t try to save our relationship,” you snapped back, cutting him off mid-sentence. 

Sebastian breathed deeply, being careful of the words he wanted to use. “It’s not like that alright? I loved you more than anything.”

“Loved. As in past tense.”

“Erica stop it!” His tone made you wince. “You were going through a rough time. I tried anything and everything possible to help you, but you refused all of it. You didn’t want my help. I tried to get you more help but you wouldn’t listen. Then in walked Chris, and for some reason, you listened to what he had to say.” He turned to you, taking your cold hands into his warm ones. “I love you Erica. I will always love you. But you are with Chris now, and I’m with Margarita.”

“But what if we never broke up Seb? Where would we be now?” you sniffed back your tears. 

“Accidents happen Erica. And they alter our life and ways we could never imagine. I don’t want to dwell on the past and think of ‘what ifs’. It’s just not worth it.”

“Do you miss me? Miss being in a relationship with me?” you asked without even thinking. 

Sebastian took a minute to answer, and your heart sank. “I miss you Erica, without a doubt. Not seeing you every single day like I used to…it hurts. I feel like a part of my life   
isn’t with me. But I love Margarita and I’m happy with her.”

The tears that brimmed at your eyes overflowed and went down to your cheeks as you hastily wiped them away. “I understand,” you said sounding defeated. 

“Hey, why don’t I have Chris come out here and the two of you can talk?” With another sniff, you nodded your head; dreading what Chris would think of you now.


	29. Chapter 29

Sebastian left you on the bench as he walked away to call Chris; yet he still kept his eyes on you. The phone barely managed to ring only once before Chris answered. 

“Are you with her? Is she alright? I’ve tried calling her but her phone must be shut off,” Chris rushed his words out. 

“Relax Chris. I got her. I’m at Central Park with her right now. The Pond. Do you know where it is?”

“Yeah….yeah I’ve uh, I’ve been there before I think,” he rasped out. 

“Good, cause you need to talk to her.”

Chris sighed on the other end of the phone. “I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

After hanging up, Sebastian continued to watch you carefully. You were sitting on the bench, hunched over as your eyes were glued to the ducks swimming in the water. You looked peaceful, relaxed, yet he knew that was anything but compared to everything going on in your mind. 

~~~

You didn’t know how you got to where you were now. Not in a literal sense of course; that was all fresh in your mind. But where you were now, within your life; dating Chris and moving to Los Angeles. All of it still confused you no matter how many times you tried to relive your memories. And that was the last thing you wanted to do at this point. 

The memories were haunting your every waking, and sleeping mind. The near constant headache you were feeling was making it enough to want to pull your hair out and just scream at the top of your lungs; but you decided against that very idea. You already felt like a complete nut case; you didn’t want half of New York to see that too. 

As you got lost in your own little world, trying to block out the recurring memories and watching the ducks happily swim about on the water, you felt a presence sit beside you. Taking a deep breath in through your nose, you closed your eyes and exhaled. Thinking your options through, it could be one of four people sitting next to you; Sebastian, Margarita, Chris or a stranger. At this point, you’d rather it be a stranger. 

Turning your head to the right, you realized you were shit out of luck today as Chris sat there; his warm blue eyes softly gazing at you. Your chin began to quiver just at the sight of him and he rapidly pulled you into his warm embrace; letting you cry into his chest as your body shook from your uncontrollable sobbing. 

“I’m….so….sorry,” you choked out between sobs as his hand held your head close to his chest. 

“Shhhh,” Chris soothed in such a warm tone of voice. “You don’t have to be sorry Erica.”

Pulling out of his embrace, you wiped your tears with the back of your hand. “Yes I do Chris. I treated you like such shit back at Sebastian’s apartment. I told you we were over and I walked out on you. When all you were trying to do is help me.”

He cupped your cheeks with his hands, holding your head in place before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss to your lips. The electricity you felt was still there when he pulled away; your heart skipping a beat. 

“What….what was that for?” you asked in a near whisper; your breath fanning his face. “Not that I’m complaining or anything.”

“Because I want you to know that you have nothing to be sorry about and you mean everything to me Erica.” Relief flooded your body as your shoulders slumped into a relaxed position. As you and Chris continued to sit in silent on the bench, life began to feel somewhat normal. It felt like things might be alright in the end. “Do you want to head back to   
the hotel room and talk?”

Normally, the word ‘talk’ would make any girl want to go running for the hills; but in this moment, you felt a sense of relaxation. “Yeah…yeah I’d like to maybe get some clearer answers.”

Chris stood up, holding his hand out to you and you graciously accepted it. You didn’t see it, but Chris nodded to Sebastian, who in turn nodded back to Chris as the two of you walked your way through Central Park. 

As you made land fall onto the busy bustling streets of New York, Chris gave your hand a squeeze, making your heart melt. It was definitely different being in New York compared to Los Angeles. People here were a bit more relaxed when it came to celebrities and they either kept their distance, or didn’t even care to go and bother said celebrity. It made   
walking back to the hotel room much easier. 

No words were spoken between the two of you during the whole walk back; just silent gestures of love with simple hand squeezes. With your memories now fully intact, you were still hurt about the fact that you and Sebastian were no longer together; but you could see how you and Chris worked. 

Chris knew just how to handle you from the beginning. He knew when you needed space or when you needed to be cuddled and cared for. He never overstepped your boundaries and he saved the day right when you needed it. You were completely and utterly in love with him. 

Getting to your hotel room, Chris opened the door for you and the second it was latched shut, you jumped onto him. Your lips crashed to his with such a fiery passion. He didn’t respond, too shell shocked at first but he quickly realized what was happening. 

With his lips still attached to yours, he bent down and gripped your thighs just as you jumped up; wrapping your legs around his waist. As his hands went straight to your ass, he spun you around with ease and your back slammed against the door. You fisted your hands into his hair earning a low growl from him; which in turn made you buck your hips.   
“I…need….you,” you spoke breathlessly between nibbles on his neck; his growing erection making your body feel on fire. 

He moved the two of you over to the bed where he carefully placed you down. The two of you eagerly began to unclothe each other; desired kisses mixing with flying hands everywhere. It felt like déjà vu; having all your memories back and knowing how in love you were with Chris; it made this sexual experience that much more desirable. 

As soon as you were naked, you moved positions on the bed so you were on your knees; ass high in the air for Chris to enjoy. Another growl came from him as you began to shake your ass back and forth. You knew he loved this position because you knew he was such an ass man. 

You heard him grab a condom from the drawer and tear it open. Peaking around your shoulders you saw him roll it onto his thick cock. His eyes landed on yours as he stalked towards you. His hand gently caressed down your spine, making your entire body tingle. “Are you ready?” he rasped out. 

“Yes,” you responded in a near whisper. Chris’ hand teased your folds and he moaned at the feeling of just how wet you were for him. 

The bed was perfect height for Chris to stand behind you as you felt him line his member at your entrance. With one thrust of his hips, he was fully sheathed inside of you. A gasp escaped your lips at how full you felt with him inside you. 

It was now his turn to fist his hands into your hair as he pulled your head back. “Fuck!” you growled as his hips began snapping forward; the angle causing him to hit your spot just right. Arching your back, you pushed your ass backwards each time he thrusted forward. Sweat began to glisten on your skin as you felt that familiar coil in your belly tighten. 

Chris, never faltering on his thrusts, reached around and teased your clit, making your body go into overdrive. “Yes Chris,” you begged, your hands clenching into the sheets in front of you. With a few more thrusts from his hips and his fingers teasing your clit, it sent you over the edge. Your body froze up as your inner walls began to spasm around Chris’ dick. He slowed his thrusts as you rode out your high and just as you began to come down from said high, he was right back at thrusting into you. 

You were already so sensitive you could feel another orgasm building back up. This time you took your own fingers and began to circle your clit. “Are you ready to cum with me?” Chris asked in the drop dead sexiest voice you could ever imagine. 

“Yes Chris….please,” you whined, knowing you were close. His hands gripped the sides of your hips as he slammed into you. Your moans and whimpers were getting louder as you tried to hold out on your orgasm. 

“Now Erica,” Chris demanded as you both let go. His hips stilled as you both cried out each other’s names in pure ecstasy.

Once Chris pulled out of you, you fully collapsed down onto the bed and shut your eyes; exhaustion finally taking over you.


	30. Chapter 30

You startled awake the following morning. Unaware if it was a nightmare, or the cars honking that woke you up, you looked over to see Chris fast asleep next to you. Looking down you saw that you were still completely naked as you soon remembered the events that transpired the day before. 

Lifting the covers off your nude body, you made your way into the bathroom. Turning on the light you had to cast your gaze downwards from the brightness. Once you relieved yourself of your morning duties, you decided to take a shower. 

The hot water did wonders on your stressed out body and you soon found yourself dozing off, standing under the nozzle. It had been a long and tiring last couple of days ever since you regained your memories. You were unsure if you could make it through these memories; you barely survived the first time around. Your lips pressed tightly together and your chin dipped to your chest. Without a doubt you were disappointed, both in Chris, and with yourself. 

It was such an angry emotion to feel, how Chris never told you what happened to your mother. But you were also disappointed in yourself for even remotely thinking about how you missed your relationship with Sebastian. 

You began to get light headed from all the heat in the shower, and not eating anything for over 24 hours. Turning the shower off, you opened the door and felt an immediate burst of cold air. With your body covered in goosebumps you quickly grabbed the large fluffy towel robe that hung on the door. Wrapping yourself in it, you felt yourself smile at the comfort you felt. 

Taking your hand, you wiped off the mist from the mirror and took a good look at yourself. Your hair hung heavily around your shoulders from the weight of the water; you looked tired. With a deep sigh you walked to the door and opened it. 

There, you saw Chris sitting, now fully clothed in pajama pants and a black t-shirt, sitting on the bed. “You’re up,” you uttered softly. 

He scratched the back of his head as he responded. “Yeah, I ahh….I heard you get up to go to the bathroom and decided to order us some breakfast. It will be here any minute.”  
There was a fluttering in your stomach and you weren’t sure if it was from the affection of Chris ordering you breakfast, or nerves from the conversation you knew the two of you were going to have. 

It felt as if there was a bit uncertainty in the air, but that was washed away as Chris patted the spot on the bed next to him. Shuffling your feet over, you sat down beside him. He placed a hand to your back and rubbed up and down; soothing your anxiety. 

There was a knock on the door and Chris got up to answer it. Sure enough, it was your breakfast and your stomach chose that moment to begin to rumble. 

Getting up from the bed you made your way to the small table and made yourself comfortable. You heard Chris say a quick ‘thank you’ to the person who brought the food up and before you knew it, he was wheeling the small cart over to the table. 

“Smells delicious,” you said, your mouth beginning to water. Chris lifted the lids off the plates and your eyes grew wide at the sight of all the food. 

“I figured I would order a bit of everything. I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for.”

“This is perfect Chris. Thank you,” you said while giving him a warm smile. 

You began to dish your plate full of scrambled eggs, bacon, waffles and toast while Chris dished his own plate. Breakfast was, for the most part, a silent affair. The two of you too busy eating to discuss the events of the last few days. 

As you soon became full from breakfast, you pushed your plate to the side and took a sip of your orange juice. Chris continued to eat and you anxiously bounced your leg up and down underneath the table. He didn’t seem to notice your anxiousness and you were grateful for that. 

Before long, Chris was also finished with his food. He wiped his mouth before sitting back in a relaxed position in his chair. You looked into his baby blue eyes and your heart began to pound in your chest erratically. 

“So,” Chris began to speak, “how are you doing…with regaining your memories and all.” Letting out a deep sigh, you turned your gaze to your hands resting in your lap. Not even knowing what to say, you gave him a shrug. “Come on babe, talk to me.”

You felt your chin begin to quiver and that was all it took for Chris to get up from his chair and make his way over to you. He bent down on his knees in front of you, turning your body so you were facing him as he gripped you into his arms. 

He let you cry into him and you were appreciative. The anguish and uncertainty you were feeling soon washed away as Chris kept his tight hold on you. You were now feeling nothing but sympathy; for the man you loved so dearly; for everything you had put him through. 

Chris put so much of his life on hold to help you get back on track after your mothers’ death, your miscarriage, suicide attempt, and leaving Sebastian, that you couldn’t comprehend if he even wanted to go through all that again with you. 

“Hey,” his soothing voice broke through your thoughts; you didn’t even realize he had pulled apart from you. “Erica, talk to me sweetheart. Let me in.” Chris brushed the tears from under your eyes with his thumbs. He was gentle, just what you needed. 

Shaking your head, you tore your gaze from him and down to the floor. “I don’t want you to have to go through all of this again with me Chris. You deserve better. You deserve to live your life…and…and not have to deal with me and this mess.” It felt as if someone was squeezing your heart as you spoke those words to Chris. You clearly didn’t want to   
break up with him; you loved him, so much. But you didn’t want to put him through all this trouble for a second time; it just wasn’t fair to him. 

Chris leaned back on his heels as you fought to not look at his gaze. You could feel his eyes penetrating your soul but you were too terrified to look at him. He didn’t say anything. The only noise was the hum of the air conditioning. Although, you thought your heart was beating so fast, that Chris would possibly be able to hear it. 

You felt a soft grip on your knees as you made the sacrifice to look up and right into Chris’ blue eyes. All the air left your lungs as you saw the tender way he was gazing at you.   
“Erica,” his voice was nearly a whisper as he spoke. He gently tugged the left sleeve of the robe up your arm and you winced at what you saw. The small crescent shape cuts on your wrist made by your own nails just the other day. Chris leaned down, peppering soft kisses to each cut as another tear rolled down your cheek. 

“Chris,” your voice echoed his as you sniffled back your tears. 

As his lips stopped with their gentle touch against your wrist, his eyes met yours. You instantly got lost in the ocean blue of them; your heart fluttering at a rapid pace. “Erica,”   
Chris softly said your name yet again as his thumbs caressed your cheeks, wiping your tears away. “I don’t want you to have to worry about any of that alright? When this first happened to you, Sebastian tried everything in his power to help you out. But for some damn reason you wouldn’t listen to him,” he said as you winced at the memory. “Then you broke up with him and there I was….to help pick up the pieces. I honestly don’t know what I did any different than him, but you listened to me. We worked through your problems together Erica, and we made it work.”

By now your tears were cascaded down your cheeks like a waterfall, but Chris was there to catch them with his thumbs. Your heart was pounding in your chest with how delicate he was treating you in this moment. “But Chris,…..” you started to say but he cut you off. 

“No Erica, please listen to me. Nothing you say is going to change my mind baby. Nothing you say is going to make me walk away from this relationship. I love you.” At those three little words, your heart nearly stopped. It was the first time since you had regained your memories those words were spoken. “I love you so much Erica and I will do anything to help you through this again. If that means I don’t do a film for two years, then so be it. If it means I don’t work another day for the rest of my life, then I will do that too. You are the most important person to me in my entire life, and I will help you through this again, no matter what it takes.”


	31. Chapter 31

The next month was a struggle and many times you were sure things would end between you and Chris permanently. After the talk between you and Chris at the hotel room in New York, you decided to let him in once again to help you. 

You both flew back to Los Angeles the next day and got right back to work. Upping your appointments with your psychiatrist to twice a week, along with a seeing a counselor weekly. But those appointments didn’t stop the nightmares from happening. 

It was a near nightly battle with your mind trying to get some half decent sleep; your screams waking up not only you and Chris, but Dodger as he fled from the room each night. Your voice was hoarse, throat soar from the screams. 

You didn’t want to forget what happened with your mother, you just wanted to be able to sleep without being plagued with those memories each time you closed your eyes.   
As much as he didn’t want to leave you for too long, he had no choice as it pertained to a business meeting for an upcoming film he had been dreaming about directing. You assured him time and time again that you would be fine for the day by yourself. It was a Saturday morning that he left, and wouldn’t be home until late afternoon or even early evening. 

By 10 a.m that morning, you gave up on trying to get any sleep and instead went to sit on the couch in the living room. You were exhausted from all the therapy appointments and getting maybe two hours of sleep a night; it was draining on your mind and body. The medications they also gave you were making you feel somewhat of a zombie, but you knew it would take weeks to get the right doses for you and for you to start feeling yourself again. 

Spending the day staring blankly at the television, not even bothering to pay attention to what was on the screen is what you had done. You felt numb and broken all over again; the memories invading your mind like a plague, never letting you forget. You just wanted a little piece of quiet; it was all you asked for but never received. Guilt rippled through you and you didn’t think you could handle any more.

You remembered how this had already happened to you; how you already overcame this struggle once in your lifetime. It never occurred to you how hard it could be to go through the same exact thing a second time. Your heart was heavy just thinking about it and it broke you. You didn’t want this. You just wanted it to end; to stop the misery. 

Checking your phone, you saw there were missed texts from Chris. 

3 P.M  
Chris: Hey sweetheart, just checking in with you. I miss you. 

4:30 P.M  
Chris: I love you Erica

5:15 P.M  
Chris: The meeting is taking longer than I thought. I’m so sorry sweetheart. I’ll call you as soon as I leave. I can pick up some dinner if you’d like. Let me know

More guilt seeped into your body and you were overcome with tears spilling from your cheek. Dodger sat by your feet, whimpering at your sadness. Chris didn’t deserve the mess that you had become. He deserved someone happy; someone he could share his joy with. Even though he said there was nothing you could do for him to leave you, you just didn’t think you were strong enough to go through this a second time. 

You decided to give him a text, not wanting to worry him to the point where he would leave his meeting early and ruin such a great opportunity. 

Erica: Just sitting here with Dodger and watching some tv. I’ll see you when you get home. 

Grabbing a bottle of vodka from the cabinet, you went into the bedroom and pulled out a box of photos from a box hidden in the closet. It had been there since when you moved in with Chris; but had been forgotten until your memories found their way to you again. 

Opening the bottle of vodka, you took a giant swig and planted your ass on the floor. Lifting the lid off the box, you began to sift through the photos; your heart clenching with each pass of your eyes over the glossy memories. Pictures of your mother and you; pictures of you and Sebastian during happier times; and pictures of you and Chris. 

“Gaahhhh!” you screamed, throwing the box against the wall as you began to chug more of the vodka. One of the pictures landed face up, sitting just at your feet. It was a picture of you and your mother; the last picture that was ever taken of the two of you. You were spending the weekend with her; it was a mere few weeks before you found out you were pregnant. “WHY???” your anguish scream ripped through your throat as your tears cascaded down your face. Tears mixed with the alcohol began to blur your vision as you got up on shaky legs and made your way into the master bathroom. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror you could see a younger version of your mother making everything hurt that much more. Turning around you went to the large tub and turned the water on; not even bother if it was hot or cold. Your cell phone began to ring and you saw it was Chris; indicating he must finally be done with his meeting. As your finger hovered over the green button to answer, you decided you couldn’t talk to him. Not like this. 

Putting the phone down you opened the cabinet under the sink, finding what you were looking for. It was in a black sleek case. Chris had received it as a gift from Scott for Christmas. Opening it, you took out the straight razor that was meant for trimming up his beard; just like they did at the barbers back in the day. 

Stopping the water, you grabbed your phone and the straight razor, setting it on the stool next to the tub. Taking a few more large chugs of vodka, you submerged yourself into the bath, fully clothed as water splashed onto the tiled floor. The water was slightly warm but your body felt chilled thinking about what was to come. 

Taking a deep breath, you decided to call Sebastian before anything happened. Pulling up his name, you pressed send and began to hear the ringing. Without eating all day and the copious amounts of alcohol in your system, you could barely keep yourself upright in the tub; your body constantly sliding down further into the deep tub. 

“Hey Erica,” Sebastian’s cheery voice greeted you, only making you cry harder. “Hey hey hey…what’s wrong sweetie?”

“I…can’t…do….this…anymore,” you wailed between labored breaths. 

“Erica,” Sebastian called your name, but you could barely hear him through your consistent crying. “ERICA,” he yelled this time. 

“It hurts…it hurts SO much Sebby.”

“Where’s Chris Erica? Tell me where he is?”

“At…at a meeting. Dunno when he will he be’re,” your words slurred heavily. 

“Have you been drinking? Erica you know you can’t drink with the medications you are on. Where are you right now?” Sebastian’s voice was laced with worry. 

“In tha tub. Hard to….,” your words cut off as your head slipped the water. As you emerged from the water you gasped for breath. Luckily your phone was waterproof. 

“ERICA!!! ERICA!!! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?,” you heard Seb yelling. 

You coughed up water before replying. “I’m….i’m just ready for it ta end. End it all!”

“Margarita call police to Chris’ house and then call him,” Sebastian said to his girlfriend. 

“Will you do me a favor Sebby?” your voice began to quiver at the thought of what was about to happen. “Will you-will you tell Chris I love him?” You ended the call, throwing your   
phone onto the floor as it shattered into pieces. 

~~~

Out of nowhere, Chris felt a sense of dread wash over his body as he drove down the freeway, just wanting to get back to the house with you. His meeting went way too long and   
he hadn’t heard from you except for that one text. His phone began to ring and he saw Margarita’s name pop up. Confused, he answered it. 

“Hello?”

“Chris where are you?” her voice was frantic. 

“I’m on my way home. I’ll be there in about five minutes. Why? What’s going on?”

She took a ragged breath before answering. “Erica called Sebastian. Sounds like she’s drunk and she’s in the tub and she keeps saying she wants it all to end.”

Chris’ mind went into overdrive; his eyes growing wide as he stepped his foot harder on the gas. 

“I called the police to get to your house before I called you. I don’t know if they will be there before you or not. Chris-it doesn’t sound good.” Margarita began to cry, not wanting to lose her best friend. 

Fear seeped through Chris’ bones as he swerved in and out of the lanes, not caring how many traffic laws he was breaking. He needed to get to you before you did anything more reckless than you already had. 

“I’m almost there Margie,” Chris responded. 

“Oh god.”

“What? What happened?”

“She…she just told Sebastian to tell you that she loved you before the line went dead.”

~~~

Picking up the straight razor, you gripped it in your trembling hands. The water was becoming colder, your body shivering. You faintly heard a crashing sound downstairs, footsteps on the stairs as you placed the blade along your left wrist. Tears stung your eyes as you pressed the razor hard onto your skin and pulled down, right along the vein. Bright red blood immediately seeped from your delicate skin, dropping into the water as you continued to push down hard. 

The door to the bathroom swung open. “ERICA NO!” Chris yelled. He was at your side in three quick strides, forcing the razor out of your hand. 

“LET ME DO THIS!” you screamed, thrashing around the pink stained tub. Chris pulled you from the cold water and held a towel to your bleeding wrist. You began to struggle in his grip, wanting to die, to end this suffering life, but he wasn’t budging. “LET ME GO! JUST LET ME DIE!!”

“I can’t do that Erica,” Chris cried quietly as he held you close to him; your body trembling. Your lips began to turn blue; your breathing ragged. Chris looked down and saw that the towel was doing nothing to stop the bleeding from your wrist. “Don’t do this to me-please,” Chris pleaded; his own tears flowing from his eyes at the thought of losing you. 

“Stay with me Erica. Please stay with me baby. I can’t-I can’t lose you!”

“POLICE! WHERE ARE YOU AT?” Chris heard the police officers yell from downstairs. 

“UPSTAIRS MASTER BATHROOM. HURRY!” came Chris’ plea of demand. “Just hold on baby. Hold on for me please.” Your body went limp in his arms as everything faded to black. 

~~~

One Month Later

“Your heart stopped Erica. Do you think you’re ready to go back to everything?” Dr. Lee asked as she sat across from you in the large office. 

Looking around the room, you took your time to reflect on the last four weeks you spent here. It was an inpatient mental health facility near Los Angeles. Being here, away from everything and with the help of staff and nurses at all times, you really came around with their help. Dr. Lee was right; your heart did stop the night you tried to take your life. And now that you look back on that night, you couldn’t believe you did that to Chris; to everybody who loved you. 

During your stay at the facility, they managed to quickly get you on an appropriate dosing of medications that not only made you stop feeling like a zombie, but made you feel better all around. For the first time since you regained your memories, you were happy. 

Giving Dr. Lee a smile, you nodded your head. “I’ve never been more ready.”

After your last session with Dr. Lee, you walked down the halls of the treatment facility for the last time and into your room. Standing there surprising you was Chris. He was holding a bouquet of flowers; a bright smile on his face. 

“Congratulations beautiful,” he beamed. You ran to him, jumping into his open arms as you wrapped your legs around his thighs. Nuzzling your face into his neck, you reveled at his smell. 

“I missed you,” you breathed into his neck before giving him a chaste kiss on his pulse point. 

“I missed you too Erica. So much-you have no idea.

“I’m sorry I was stuck in here for your birthday,” you frowned at the thought. 

“Hey now. My birthday means nothing to me if you aren’t happy alright?” You gave him a nod into his neck. “Are you ready to go home?”

Pulling away from him, you placed a tender kiss to his lips. Chris pulled you closer to his firm body with one arm, as his free hand threaded through your hair. “Let’s go home.”

The car ride back to the house was quiet, but not awkward. Chris held your hand the entire time as you let your head rest out of the window; missing the feeling of wind on your face. 

“Are you sure you’re ready for this babe?” Chris asked as he squeezed your hand.

“Like I told Dr. Lee earlier, I’ve never been more ready Chris. My medications are adjusted and with all the extracurricular classes they let us choose from, I now have so many hobbies that I enjoy and it also helps me ease my mind and be at peace. I haven’t felt this good-this happy in months.”

Chris smiled at your words, picking up your hand in his and kissing your knuckles. “By the way. Robert is throwing a big fourth of July bash. I was wondering if you would be up to going to that?” The 4th of July was still two weeks away, giving you plenty of time to adjust to life again. Giving him a smile, you nodded. 

“The neighbors must be throwing a party,” you chuckled as you saw all the cars lined in the neighborhood. 

Chris helped with your bags out of the car and held onto your hand tightly as you walked through the door from the garage. Dodger came running up to you, jumping onto your laugh. 

“Dodger!!! Oh boy I missed you so much! Yes, who’s a good boy? Ooohhh,” you cooed as you let him slobber kisses all over your face. 

“Ok bubba that’s enough. Off my girl,” Chris chuckled as he helped you back to your feet. 

The two of you turned the corner of the kitchen and you were frozen in place at the sight in front of you. 

“Welcome back Erica!” everyone cheered and clapped for you. 

Standing in front of you was Sebastian and Margarita, along with Chris’ mom, Shana, Carly and Scott. Immediately you burst into tears at the sight of all your loved ones.

Everyone took their turns hugging you and you felt so much love and warmth spread through you. If you had any doubts before about being able to get through things, this moment took those doubts away. 

Turns out Chris had been planning this since his birthday because he knew how sad you were that you couldn’t be with him for it. There was a strict rule about no visitors at the treatment facility if you were only doing a four week program. But you were at least still able to talk to him each and every day on the phone which made it a little better. 

Lisa and Chris’ sister made quick work of bringing all the food out from their hiding place in the pantry. The food smelled amazing and your mouth was watering at finally being able to have a good home cooked meal again. 

After dinner was eaten, everyone moved to the backyard and enjoyed the last few hours before the sun dipped below the horizon. It was without a doubt an absolute perfect day so far. 

You saw Chris motion to his mother and she disappeared into the house. A curious expression was on your face as you talked to Margie, but you let it go. 

A few minutes later, there were flutes of champagne being brought around. Graciously, you took one in your hand. The new medications they put you on wouldn’t do any damage if you drank on them; as long as you drank occasionally and not on a daily basis. 

Taking a sip, you crinkled your nose as the bubbles tickled. Your brows furrowed as Chris took your glass and set it down on the small table next to you; along with his glass.   
“Erica, do you remember the fight we had the day of your accident?” It wasn’t hard to remember your memories anymore as the scene flooded into your mind. 

Flashback

“For the hundredth time, I am NOT cheating on you Erica!” Chris roared, throwing his hands up in the air as his frustration and anger glowed on his face. 

This is the same fight the two of you have been having all month and it was starting to take its toll on you. Each day, he spent less and less time with you and instead headed out with friends; and you had no idea where he was half the time. He was being secretive it felt like, distant and it worried you to no end. 

End Flashback

You nodded your head at him as he grasped your hands with his large warm ones. “Erica, I didn’t intend for you to ever think I was cheating on you. I would never do that to you. I love you too damn much. You mean the absolute world to me and I couldn’t imagine my life without you.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to your lips. Your body warmed at his sweet embrace, wondering what he was up to. “The reason why I was away so often was because I was planning something pretty special.” It was that moment that he got down on one knee, your mouth opening with a gasp. “Erica, since the moment you walked into my life I have felt complete. I hate being away from you, for any amount of time. You are my life now. Will you do the honor of marrying me?” He pulled out a small black velvet box from his pocket and opened it, showing off the most dazzling and beautiful ring you had ever seen. 

Tears blurred your vision in the happiest of ways as you nodded your head. “YES! Of course I will!”

Chris graced you with the most perfect smile as he placed the ring on your ring finger; cheers erupted from all around you. 

~~~

Two Weeks Later

You were on your way to Robert’s house for his big Fourth of July bash. Deciding to be festive, you wore a plain white t-shirt with a pair of denim shorts that had the American flag on the back pockets. You also wore a festive headband that had two spring coils with blue and red tinsel to show off for fireworks. 

“Happy Birthday Steve Rogers,” you joked giving your fiancé a smile as he drove the car. 

“Very cute,” he chuckled next to you. 

Chris pulled up into the driveway, smirking at the fact that Robert had valet at the part. He reached for his phone and sent what looked like a quick text. You each made your way out of the car as the valet took over and gave Chris a number. He held your hand tightly as you two made your way to the backyard where the party was. You held up your left   
hand, admiring your engagement glistening in the bright sun. “I still can’t get over how pretty it is Chris,” you gushed. 

“Only the best for my girl,” he responded as he leaned down to give you a kiss. 

The two of you turned the corner of the expanse house only to yet again, freeze in your spot. 

“CONGRATULATIONS!!!” came a chorus of cheers along with a large banner that said “Congrats Chris and Erica”. You were stunned as to what was going on. 

Robert quickly made his way to you, pulling you into a bear hug. “Robert,” you chuckled as he set you down. “What-what is going on here?”

“I already had this party planned for the 4th, but when I heard of the engagement-I mean. Come on. Do you really think I wouldn’t have pulled something out for the Star Spangled Man with a Plan on his birthday when I heard he got engaged? Happy Birthday Cap. What are you now, 101?” Robert gave Chris a wink before they hugged it out. “And congrats by the way. It’s time someone put this man into place.” You blushed at his words but your smile was evident. 

Robert placed his hand around your shoulders and moved you towards the crowd; you gripped Chris’ hand before you could lose him in the throng of people. Everybody was there, and you meant everybody. Jeremy Renner, Scartlet Johansson, Sebastian, Margie, Gwenyth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Anthony Mackie and even Tom Holland. Hell, the damn Russo brothers were even there. Looking around, there had to have been at least 100 people gathered around the expanse backyard. 

“Robert,” you slightly growled but he only hugged you tighter. 

“Hey. I don’t want to hear that from you.” That made you giggle. “I’m happy for you Erica. You’ve gone to hell and back-literally. You deserve to be happy and I know Chris makes you that way. I only ask to be made the godfather to your first born.” 

“ROBERT!” you chuckled. 

“Or your second born. Doesn’t matter,” he responded with a shrug. 

You shook your head but then remembered you wanted to ask him something. You ran the idea by Chris and he couldn’t have been more on board. Walking through the crowd you spotted Sebastian and grabbed his hand, making him walk with you. Once you got to Robert, you faced the two of them. 

“I need a favor to ask the both of you.” You looked between the two men in front of you; Chris standing next to you with his arm around your back, holding you close to him in encouragement. You tried to be strong but you couldn’t help the quivering of your chin. Taking a deep breath, you spoke. “I don’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle. And you both mean the absolute world to me. I was hoping the two of you would do the honors?”

They both had glossy eyes, trying to hold back their own tears as they both reached for you in a tight hug. You felt comforted and cherished in their arms. 

“I would be honored,” Robert responded. 

“I was hoping you would ask me that,” Sebastian replied. 

After the three of you hugged it out and had your tearful moment, Chris placed his hand around your shoulders and you made your way into the festivities.   
Robert pulled out all the stops. There was a large slip ‘n’ slide down the hill, a red, white and blue bouncy castle and the largest spread of catered barbeque you had ever witnessed in your life. 

You and Chris got congratulations throughout the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening as you mingled with everyone. Scarlet pulled you aside for girl talk with Margie as they wanted details about the wedding. Naturally, you asked them to be your bridesmaids during the conversation. They both squealed in delight, going over ideas for you for the wedding. At least you would have a lot of help planning the wedding. 

As dusk began to fall, Chris pulled you into his arms on a blanket on the ground. Your back was settled against his chest as he held you close to him; the two of you looking up to the sky as the fireworks show started. 

Chris brushed your hair away from your ear and you felt his breath on your delicate skin, making you shiver under his touch. “I love you so much Erica,” he breathed into your ear. “I can’t wait until I get to call you my wife.”

~~~

One Year Later

After months of planning for the biggest day of your life, it was finally hear. You had a crew of people helping you get ready for your marriage with Chris and your heart was fluttering with excitement and nerves. 

The wedding was taking place in Northern California at a winery. The moment you and Chris visited last fall to check out the venue, you fell in love with it just as much as he did. It wasn’t going to be that large of a wedding, only about 150 people total, which when you think of it, with Chris being a famous actor, it could have been much more. While you had no family here, you knew everyone that was going to be in attendance and they all opened their arms to you as part of the family. 

After you hair and makeup were done, you got into your dress. Everyone filed out of the room, giving you a minute to yourself before you heard a knock on the door. Lisa popped her head in and stared at you in awe. 

“You look so beautiful sweetheart,” she said as she removed a tear that slid down her cheek. 

“Oh Lisa don’t cry!” you said with a smile as you went to hug her. She held you close to her, and just like in Chris’ arms, you felt warmth and love from her. She considered you a daughter the moment she met you; always telling you that you and Chris were destined to be together. 

“I know that this must be a difficult time for you Erica. A big day like this and you don’t have the most important woman here with you right now.” As she spoke, you nodded your head, willing the tears to not ruin your makeup. “And I just wanted you to know that I love you just as much as I love my own children. You make my Chris so happy and I’m so blessed that you are going to be a part of this family forever.” You wrapped your arms around her, clinging for life as her words touched your heart. When she pulled away from you, she grabbed something from her purse. “I wanted to give you this so you could wear it. I had it made special for today.”

She placed a small white box in your palms and you carefully opened it. When you saw what it was, you gasped; Lisa immediately balling up tissues under your eyes to catch your tears. 

“It’s so beautiful,” you whispered. It was a button about the size of a quarter, with your mother’s picture on it. 

“I was thinking we could pin it to the inside of your dress, right next to your heart. That way she will be nice and close to you today.” Nodding your head, you held the tissues up to your eyes as she carefully pinned the button to the inside of your dress. You don’t know why, but you instantly felt better, like a weight lifted off your shoulder. 

“They are ready,” Scarlet said from the doorway, standing with Margarita by her side. “Do you want me to bring in Robert and Sebastian?” 

Lisa quickly helped to make sure your makeup wasn’t ruined and gave your arms a gentle squeeze. 

“Yeah, bring them in,” you spoke softly. You looked down at your dress, smiling. The dress itself was extremely simple. It was white satin with thick straps like a tank top. At the   
waist, there was a beaded diamond belt cinching your waist and then it flared out lightly from there; nowhere near a ball gown flare. You tried those types of dresses on and weren’t comfortable at all in them; they were so heavy to move around in. 

There was a nother knock on the door and you looked up to see Robert and Sebastian looking rather dapper in their navy blue tuxes. Their eyes were glossy as they took everything in. 

“I’m not crying, you’re crying,” he turned and spoke to Sebastian as he sniffled his nose. His remark caused you to giggle and you did a twirl for them. Robert was the frist to greet you, taking your hands in his. “You make an absolutley stunning bride Erica.”

“Thank you Robert. You don’t look too shabby yourself.” He laughed before giving you a kiss on the cheek. 

Sebastian was next to greet you and he didn’t waste any time putting his arms around your waist and giving you a hug. “I can’t get over how beautiful you look right now.”

“Hey now, I’ll only be second best when it finally comes to your ass marrying Margarita.” That got a laugh out of both men in the room. “And the best part?” you spoke with a gleaming smile. You placed your hands inside the pockets. “It has POCKETS!”

The music began to start and Robert handed you your boquet of flowers. Trailing behind them, you made your way outside the double doors. Robert and Sebastian stood on either side of you, both giving you warm smiles as you placed one arm around each of them. The three of you walked down the cobble sidewalk before stopping. All you had to do was turn left around the building and there Chris would be, waiting for you. 

Looking up at the sky, it was the perfect day for an outside wedding. “Ready?” Robert whispered to you. Giving him a nod, the three of you turned the corner as everyone stood up. 

Your eyes instantly landed on Chris. He had never looked more handsome than in this exact moment. Slowly, the three of you made your way up the aisle; your eyes never leaving Chris’. His mouth parted slightly as he got a better look at you, and then you saw him wipe away a tear. Your heart hammered in your chest, just wanting to be there next to him. 

Chris walked down the two steps to greet you, taking your hand in his and helped you up the steps. “You look so beautiful Erica,” he whispered to you, making you blush. 

During the wedding, your eyes and Chris’ stayed glued to each-other’s. You felt safe with your hands in his; heart full of love. 

It was time for your vows, and you both decided to speak from the heart instead of the basic vows that many people do at weddings. 

“Erica, from the moment I meant you, I knew you were special, even though you weren’t mine-yet.” There was a chorus of giggles from the audience as your eyes peered over at Sebastian’s. He was smiling and shaking his head. “Throughout the time I got to know you, you became such a close friend to me and I knew one way or another, you would always be a part of my life and I was happy with that. But then one horrific accident happened and somehow you ended up with me. And then another accident happened earlier this year and I thought I was going to lose you. I thought you would wake up one day and think ‘what the hell am I doing with this doofus’”. Another chorus of laughter erupted. “But here you are, still with me. And when you agreed to marry me, it was the happiest moment of my life, until now. I love you so much Erica and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

You grabbed the tissue you had been holding, knowing you would need it as you wiped away the tears from your cheeks; not even caring anymore if your makeup was ruined. Chris’ words made you heart clench with love and all you wanted to do was pull him into a searing kiss, but you knew you had to wait. 

“Chris,” you began to speak with a shaky voice. “Fate has a funny way of playing things out. Over the course of the last few years, I didn’t imagine how this would be endgame.” Naturally, those who were there that were a part of the Avengers movies snickered at your little comment. “But I couldn’t be more happier. You have fought for me, time and time again during the hardest parts of our relationship. In fact, you had to do it twice. And that shows me how much dedication you have between us. It shows that you are someone I can lean on and trust with my whole heart, knowing you would do anything for me. I am proud to stand next to you today, and to become your wife.”  
Dodger came up to Chris, his color holding the boxes with your wedding bands in them. The rings were placed on your respected fingers; smiles all around.   
“You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant stated. 

Chris’ large warm hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you to him as he placed his lips on yours. Your knees grew weak as you held onto his arms, never wanting the kiss to end. Chris pulled away, glancing lovingly into your eyes. 

“Everyone, please congratulate Mr. and Mrs. Chris Evans!” the officiant said. Margarita handed you your flowers and you gripped Chris’ hand as the two of you walked down the aisle together as a married couple.


End file.
